9 A Passion for Spelunking

Chapter 9 A PASSION FOR SPELUNKING Yes, Mrs. Higgins—the germ-phobic and psychotic health teacher who had set the twins' school on fire, chased them through The House on the Rock, forced them to cause a riot at Wrigley Field in Chicago, and tried to blow their eardrums out at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland! She still had a scar across her neck from when they had clotheslined her with a ball of twine in Wisconsin. Coke and Pep involuntarily recoiled in horror at the sight of the tall woman, backing up against the clammy cave wall. (I know what you're thinking, dear reader. You're thinking that Mrs. Higgins is going to

是的，就是希金斯太太——那个有细菌恐惧症、精神失常的健康老师，她放火烧了双胞胎的学校，在岩石上的房子里追着他们跑，强迫他们在芝加哥的瑞格利球场制造骚乱，还试图在克利夫兰的摇滚名人堂把他们的耳膜吹破！她脖子上还有一道伤疤，那是他们在威斯康辛州用绳子把她捆起来时留下的。 寇克和佩普看到那个高个子女人，背靠着湿漉漉的岩壁，不由自主地吓了一跳。 (我知道你在想什么，亲爱的读者。 你认为希金斯夫人会

throw Coke into a giant shredder. But that's not what happened at all.) "Well, if it isn't the McDonald twins!" Mrs. Higgins said, smiling sweetly. "Fancy meeting you two here." "It was you!" Pep said, pointing at her. "You're the voice on the audio tour!" "Guilty as charged," she replied. "How did I sound?" "Don't touch us!" Coke warned. "I'm warning you. I have a brown belt in karate." "Congratulations," Mrs. Higgins said. "Don't worry. I never touch the visitors. That is strictly forbidden by company rules." She took a step back and held up both hands to prove that she had no weapon. "What are you doing here?" Pep demanded. "Why do you keep showing up wherever we go?" "I work here, dear," Mrs. Higgins said. "I'm just trying to make a living. I got laid off when the school burned down, you know."

把可乐扔进一个巨大的碎纸机。 但事实并非如此。)“嗯，这不是麦当劳的双胞胎吗？”希金斯太太甜甜地笑着说。 “没想到在这儿见到你们俩。” “是你！”佩普指着她说。 “你是音频导览的声音！”“罪名成立，”她回答。 “我听起来怎么样？”“别碰我们！”可口可乐警告说。 “我警告你。我是空手道棕带。” “恭喜你，”希金斯太太说。 “别担心。我从不碰v星人。 这是公司规定严格禁止的。” 她向后退了一步，举起双手，以证明她没有武器。 “你在这儿干什么？”Pep要求。 “为什么无论我们走到哪里，你总是出现？”“我在这里工作，亲爱的，”希金斯太太说。 “我只是想谋生。 你知道，学校被烧毁后，我就被解雇了。”

"You burned the school down yourself!" Coke shouted at her. "Believe me, it's not easy getting a job these days," said Mrs. Higgins. "The economy is terrible." "You can't fool us," Pep said. "You work for Dr. Warsaw. You're in love with him, and you'll do anything he says to make him happy, including killing innocent kids. You're a paid assassin!" Mrs. Higgins put her hand over her heart, as if taken aback by the accusation. She appeared to get misty-eyed at the mention of Dr. Warsaw's name. "Okay, I did do a little, shall we say, freelancing, for Dr. Warsaw," she admitted. "But those days are over. He's married now, and I finally had to admit that he never really loved me in the first place. In the end, he had me stealing hats for that kid who looked like Archie from the comics. It was pathetic what I did for that man's approval, to be honest with you."

“你自己把学校烧了！”科克对她大喊大叫。 “相信我，现在找工作可不容易，”希金斯太太说。 “经济很糟糕。” “你骗不了我们，”佩普说。 “你为华沙医生工作。你爱上他了，为了让他开心，你什么都愿意做，包括杀害无辜的孩子。 你是个雇来的刺客！”希金斯太太用手捂住心口，似乎被这一指责吓了一跳。 一提到医生，她似乎泪眼朦胧。 华沙的名字。“好吧，我确实做了一点，我们可以说，自由职业者，为博士。 华沙。”她承认。“但这样的日子已经过去了。 他现在结婚了，我终于不得不承认他从一开始就没有真正爱过我。 最后，他让我给那个长得像漫画里的阿奇的孩子偷帽子。 老实说，为了得到那个人的认可，我做了一件可悲的事。”

She wiped a tear from her eye, and Pep found herself feeling a small degree of sympathy for Mrs. Higgins. She almost wanted to give her a hug. "She's lying," Coke told his sister. "Don't fall for that crap, Pep." "I was going through a phase back then," Mrs. Higgins said, her eyes brightening. "But those days are in the past. Now I have a new passion—spelunking!" "Spelunking?" Pep asked. "Exploring caves." "I don't believe you for a second," Coke said. "We trusted you the last time. And now we're supposed to believe that you just happened to get a job at Luray Caverns when we're here, just like you happened to get the job at Wrigley Field when we were in Chicago? Give me a break." "You can believe whatever you want, Coke," said Mrs. Higgins. "But look, if I wanted to harm you two, I could do it right now, couldn't I?"

她擦去眼里的一滴眼泪，佩普发现自己对希金斯太太产生了一点点同情。 她几乎想给她一个拥抱。 “她在撒谎，”科克对妹妹说。 “佩普，别信他的鬼话。” “那时我正在经历一个阶段，”希金斯太太说，她的眼睛亮了起来。 “但那些日子已经过去了。 现在我有了新的爱好——洞穴探险！”“洞穴探险吗?”Pep问道。 “探索洞穴。”“我一点也不相信你，”可口可乐说。 “上次我们信任你。 现在我们应该相信我们在这里的时候你碰巧在卢雷洞穴找到了一份工作，就像我们在芝加哥的时候你碰巧在瑞格利球场找到了一份工作一样？ 饶了我吧。”“你想信什么就信什么，科克，”希金斯太太说。 “但是，如果我想伤害你们两个，我现在就可以动手，不是吗？”

She turned around and made a sweeping gesture across the Cathedral Room with her arm. "You see these stalagmites?" she continued. "Some of them are sharper than a razor. How easy it would be for me to grab one of you and push you down on top of one." Mrs. Higgins had a glassy look in her eye. Coke and Pep took a step backward. "That's all it would take," Mrs. Higgins went on, "a little shove. One of these stalagmites could pierce through human flesh like a knife through butter. All I would have to tell my boss would be, 'Oops! It was an accident. These crazy kids were roughhousing with each other. I tried to stop them, but you know how kids are.'" She seemed to get excited thinking about pushing somebody onto a stalagmite. "Or maybe I could do it over in the back corner there, where it's dark," she said. "You'd get impaled on two stalagmites, and I'd just leave you there to rot. They wouldn't find you

她转过身来，用手臂在教堂房间里做了一个手势。 “你看见这些石笋了吗？”她接着说。 “有些人比剃刀还锋利。 对我来说，抓住你们中的一个，把你们压在另一个人的身上是多么容易啊！” 希金斯太太的眼睛里有一种呆滞的神情。 可口可乐和佩普向后退了一步。 “这就够了，”希金斯太太接着说，“轻轻推一下。 其中一根石笋可以刺穿人肉，就像刀子刺穿黄油一样。 我只要对我的老板说：“哎呀！那是个意外。 这些疯狂的孩子在一起打闹。 我想阻止他们，但你知道孩子们的。’”想到要把人推到石笋上，她似乎很兴奋。 “或者我可以在后面的角落里做，那里很黑，”她说。 “你会被两根石笋刺穿，我就把你扔在那里等着腐烂。 他们不会找到你的

for years. Eventually your bodies would calcify and you would become part of the caverns." She had a wistful look on her face, like she was recalling a fond memory. Then she shook her head to clear it. "But of course, I don't do that anymore," Mrs. Higgins said. "I'm turning over a new leaf, as they say." Pep grabbed Coke by the elbow. "Let's blow this pop stand," she whispered, dragging her brother toward the exit. "Hey, did you send us a cipher at the Fourth of July fireworks?" Coke asked as they were leaving. "I don't know what you're talking about." "Liar!" "Bye now!" Mrs. Higgins called after them sweetly. "It was so nice to see you! Do come again! Watch your step on your way out. I don't want anyone to get hurt." Then she broke into a cackling laugh. Coke and Pep ran out of there two steps at a

好多年了。最终你的身体会钙化，你会成为洞穴的一部分。” 她脸上带着渴望的神情，好像在回忆一段美好的回忆。 然后她摇了摇头澄清。 “当然，我不会再这么做了，”希金斯太太说。 “就像他们说的，我正在改过自新。” 佩普抓住了可乐的胳膊肘。 “我们把这个汽水摊吹了吧，”她小声说，拖着弟弟向出口走去。 “你在独立日烟花上给我们发密码了吗”他们离开时，可口可乐问道。 “我不知道你在说什么。” “骗子!”“再见了!”希金斯太太在他们身后甜蜜地叫道。 “见到你真是太好了！”一定要再来！出去的时候小心脚下。 我不想让任何人受到伤害。” 然后她咯咯地笑了起来。 科克和佩普两步走了出来