29 Graceland

Chapter 29 GRACELAND Mrs. McDonald pulled the road atlas out of the glove compartment and spread it across the dashboard. She was thrilled to see that Tupelo, Mississippi, was only about a hundred miles from Memphis. Unless they hit some unexpected traffic along the way, they would be in Tennessee in less than two hours. Graceland was just a few miles past the state line. She got on her cell phone and found out that there was an RV campground right across the street from Graceland. Perfect! While he drove, Dr. McDonald's face showed a sense of calm and glassy-eyed peacefulness that hadn't been there for a long time. He was humming the old Paul Simon

song.. "Graceland, Graceland, in Memphis, Tennessee. I'm going to Graceland...." In his head, he had already started planning out his Elvis biography. The first chapter would begin on the day Elvis and his twin brother, Jesse, were born in Tupelo. The chapter would end that very same day, when Jesse died during childbirth. In the back of the RV, meanwhile, the twins realized there was nothing they could do to avoid a trip to Graceland and an inevitable confrontation with Evil Elvis. They were nervously preparing to go to war. Coke carefully read the instructions on his fireworks so he would know how to light them, aim them, and shoot them. Pep was loosening up her throwing arm. She knew it might be up to her to take out Evil Elvis with the Frisbee grenade. She would only get one shot, so it would have to count. She felt like Luke Skywalker preparing for the dive into the Death

Star. The twins had a few other "weapons" at their disposal, but it wasn't like they would be much help in a fight: One roll of duct tape. A can of Silly String. Two yo-yos. A jar of bubbles. A can of Spam they got at the Spam Museum in Minnesota. A can of alligator repellent. If worse came to worst, they could hit somebody with the POUPON U toilet seat their mother had bought them back at the Mustard Museum in Middleton, Wisconsin. It was pretty hard.

They were speeding along I-22, traveling west and north diagonally across the state of Mississippi. Dr. McDonald didn't look like he was going to stop for food, drink, or to stretch his legs. He was a man on a mission. The countryside was flying by at sixty miles per hour, and nobody was paying much attention to the scenery.

Shortly after they drove through Holly Springs National Forest, they passed this.... When they crossed the state line and there was no exuberant outburst from the backseat, Mrs. McDonald turned around to see if anything was wrong. "No woo-hoo?" she asked. "No facts about Tennessee? It's the Volunteer State, you know." "I volunteer to go home," Coke said glumly. Minutes later, they reached the outskirts of Memphis. Dr. McDonald noticed the gas tank

was close to empty, so he pulled into a station to fill it. When he started up the engine again, the GPS indicated they were just a few miles from Graceland. He made a left onto East Shelby Drive and drove a short time before he came to a street marked ELVIS PRESLEY BLVD. "This is it, Ben," Mrs. McDonald said. "Make a right here." It wasn't a fancy neighborhood, as they had expected. There were no other mansions around, and few houses at all. Most of the buildings on the street were pawn shops, gas stations, fast-food restaurants, and motels. They knew they were getting close to Graceland when they passed the Elvis Presley Boulevard Shopping Center and a Days Inn motel with a sign out front that said… "Before Elvis there was nothing." —JOHN LENNON