20 Bang for Your Buck

Chapter 20 BANG FOR YOUR BUCK "Let me do the talking, okay?" Coke told his sister as they approached the front of Boom Pow! The Fireworks Superstore. "Okay, okay." Before they opened the door, Coke took out his wallet to see how much money he had. Minus the five dollars he had spent on gag underwear at the souvenir store, there were fifty dollars he had saved from raking leaves back home, plus the money his mother had given him. "Do you have any money?" he asked Pep. "I have forty dollars," she replied. "But that's the money Mom gave me plus all my babysitting money. I don't want to spend it all on

第二十章物有所值“让我来谈，好吗？”当他们来到Boom Pow！烟花超市。 “好了,好了。”在他们开门之前，可口可乐拿出钱包，看看他有多少钱。 除去他在纪念品商店买搞笑内衣花的五美元，还有他在家里捡树叶攒下的五十美元，再加上他母亲给他的钱。 “你有钱吗？”他问佩普。 “我有40美元，”她回答。 “但那是妈妈给我的钱，加上我照看孩子的钱。 我不想把钱都花在

fireworks." "Look," Coke said, "Evil Elvis is trying to kill us. Do you grasp the magnitude of that? He's trying to kill us. He's got weapons. You know what they say. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We need all the firepower we can afford." "Okay, okay," Pep said, handing over the money she had worked so hard to earn. There were big signs plastered all over the window of the store. Call us before your next party or special event! Get more bang for your buck! Come here for all your pyro needs! Coke pulled open the door. The place was huge. It looked a little bit like a supermarket, but instead of aisles marked SOUP, DAIRY, and

烟花。”“看，”科克说，“邪恶的埃尔维斯想要杀了我们。 你知道这有多重要吗？ 他想杀了我们。他有武器。 你知道他们怎么说的。绝望的时刻需要绝望的措施。 我们需要所有我们能负担得起的火力。” “好吧，好吧，”佩普说着，把她辛辛苦苦挣来的钱递给了她。 商店的橱窗上贴满了大招牌。 在下次聚会或特别活动之前给我们打电话！得到更多的bang for your buck！来这里满足你所有的火焰需求！可乐拉开了门。 这个地方很大。它看起来有点像超市，但走道上没有“SOUP”、“DAIRY”和“。

FROZEN FOOD, they were marked MISSILES, ROCKETS, AERIAL REPEATERS, and ROMAN CANDLES. The twins picked an aisle randomly to walk down. It was jammed with all kinds of explosives in scary-looking packages, with names like Midnight Dynamite, Purple Powerhouse, Nuclear Warhead, Sky Slammer, Freaky Tiki, and Hairy Eyeball. "This isn't a store," Pep marveled. "It's an arsenal." "If this place ever catches on fire," Coke said, "I just hope I'm here to watch it blow." A tall, skinny, and extremely well-pimpled employee wearing a Boom Pow! T-shirt came toward them. He looked like a high school kid. His name tag said Trey. "I'm sorry, but you gotta be eighteen years old to buy fireworks, y'know," Trey told them. "You two don't look eighteen." "Let me handle this," Coke whispered to his sister. "This redneck looks pretty dumb. He's probably the result of some serious inbreeding."

冷冻食品，上面标着导弹、火箭、空中中继器和罗马蜡烛。 这对双胞胎随机选择了一条过道走下去。 里面塞满了各种各样的炸药，装在看起来很吓人的包装里，名字有“午夜炸药”、“紫色动力”、“核弹头”、“击天炸弹”、“怪异提基”和“毛眼球”。 “这不是一家商店，”佩普惊讶地说。 “这是一个军火库。”“如果这个地方着火了，”科克说，“我只希望我能在这里看着它燃烧。” 一个又高又瘦，满脸粉刺的员工，戴着Boom Pow！t恤向他们走来。 他看起来像个高中生。 他的名牌上写着特雷。“我很抱歉，但你必须年满18岁才能买烟花，你知道，”特雷告诉他们。 “你们两个看起来不像十八岁。” “让我来处理这件事，”科克低声对妹妹说。 “这个乡巴佬看起来很蠢。 他可能是近亲繁殖的结果。”

Coke straightened his posture to address the kid. "You're right, technically," he said, "but we're dizygotic twins. So two fertilized eggs were implanted in our mother's uterus wall at the same time. In other words, together we're twenty-six years old." Coke glanced at Pep to make sure she wasn't going to open her big fat mouth. Trey stared at the two of them for a moment, looking back and forth from one to the other. "Okay," he finally said. "What do you need?" "We figured we'd buy some firecrackers," Pep said. "Firecrackers?!" Trey spit on the floor, then hollered, "Hey, guys, get this! These kids want to buy firecrackers!" A few men standing around the cash register started falling all over themselves like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. "I thought we agreed that I would do the talking?" Coke whispered to his sister angrily.

可口可乐挺直了身子，对那孩子说。 “严格来说，你是对的，”他说，“但我们是异卵双胞胎。 所以两个受精卵同时植入我们母亲的子宫壁上。 换句话说，我们一起26岁了。” 可口可乐瞥了佩普一眼，以确保她不会张开她的大嘴。 特雷盯着他们俩看了一会儿，从一个人看到另一个人。 “好吧，”他最后说。“你需要什么？”“我们打算买些鞭炮，”佩普说。 “鞭炮? !”特雷在地板上吐了口水，然后喊道：“嘿，伙计们，拿着这个！这些孩子想买鞭炮！”站在收银机周围的几个男人开始扑倒在地，好像这是他们听过的最有趣的事情。 “我们不是说好了由我来谈吗？”科克生气地小声对妹妹说。

Then he put one arm on Trey's shoulder and said, "She's just kidding. We want the real stuff." "Well, now you're talkin'," Trey said. "We got megabangers, herbies, California candles, Texas rockets, Killer Comets, triple-whistler bottle rockets, anything you want. The X-18 Mega Blast is on sale this week. How much money are you thinkin' to spend?" "We have a hundred bucks and change," Coke said. "Maybe you can make some recommendations?" "Hmmmm," Trey said, picking up a large box from a shelf. "Lemme see. We just got in these American Beauties. They're five-hundred-gram cakes that explode in red, white, and blue with white strobes. Or maybe you'd rather go with a Barrel Buster. The blast opens up like a round of machine-gun fire. It's awesome." "Which one makes the biggest explosion?" Coke asked. "Well," Trey said, "both of 'em are pretty intense. I mean, you get too close to either of

然后他把一只胳膊搭在特雷的肩膀上说：“她只是在开玩笑。 我们想要真正的东西。”“好吧，你说得对。”特雷说。 “我们有大香肠、草药、加利福尼亚蜡烛、德克萨斯火箭、杀手彗星、三哨子瓶火箭，你想要什么都行。 X-18 Mega Blast本周发售。 你打算花多少钱？”“我们有100美元和零钱，”可口可乐说。 “也许你能给我一些建议？”“嗯，”特雷说着，从架子上拿起一个大盒子。 “让我看看。我们刚进了这辆美国美女车。 它们是500克重的蛋糕，在白色闪光灯下会爆炸成红、白、蓝三色。 或者你更愿意用桶破器。 爆炸就像机关枪开火一样。 这是太棒了。”“哪一个爆炸最大？”可口可乐问道。 “嗯，”特雷说，“他们俩都很紧张。 我是说，你跟其中任何一个走得太近

these babies, and you'll have a headache that'll last you a lifetime. But if you're looking for flat-out, blow-out-the-ears power, I'm thinking the best thing for you might be our Classic Repeater Four Pack. Four repeaters in one package— Green Bamboo, Big Snow, Yellow Bees, and Cloud Dragon." "Wow, you sure know a lot about fireworks," Coke said. "Yeah," Trey replied. "I'm sorta into blowing stuff up." "Who isn't?" said Coke. "I'm not," said Pep. "Well, you're a girl," Trey said with a laugh. Then he and Coke high-fived each other. "You can do some serious damage with this stuff," Coke said. "You ain't kiddin', buster," Trey agreed. "It's like having a missile silo in your own backyard. Listen, you look like good kids. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. For a hundred bucks, you can have the Classic Repeater Four Pack, and I'll

这些孩子，你就会头疼一辈子了。 但如果你正在寻找一种彻底的、震撼人心的力量，我认为最适合你的可能是我们的经典复练四包。 四个中继器一包——青竹、大雪、黄蜂和云龙。” “哇，你真的很了解烟花，”科克说。 “是的，”特雷回答。“我有点喜欢炸东西。” “谁不是？”可口可乐说。“我不是，”佩普说。 “好吧，你是个女孩，”特雷笑着说。 然后他和科克互相击掌。 “你可以用这种东西造成一些严重的破坏，”科克说。 “你不是在开玩笑，老兄，”特雷同意道。 “这就像在你自己的后院有一个导弹发射井。 听着，你们看起来像好孩子。 我来告诉你我要怎么做。 花一百块钱，你就能得到经典的四块复健肌，而我