2 Uncle Herman

Chapter 2 UNCLE HERMAN Our story begins in Washington, D.C., where The Genius Files: Never Say Genius left off. By the way, if you'd like to follow the McDonalds on their journey, it's easy. Get on the internet and go to Google Maps (http://maps.google.com/), Mapquest (www.mapquest.com), Rand McNally (www.randmcnally.com), or whatever navigation website you like best. Go ahead, I'll wait. Okay, now type in Lincoln Memorial, Washington, D.C., and click SEARCH MAPS. Click the little + or – sign on the screen to zoom in or out until you get a sense of where the twins are. See it? That's our starting point.

第二章赫尔曼叔叔我们的故事从华盛顿特区开始，《天才档案：永不说天才》就是在这里结束的。 顺便说一下，如果你想跟随麦当劳的脚步，这很容易。 上网访问谷歌Maps （http://maps.google.com/）、Mapquest （www.mapquest.com）、Rand McNally （www.randmcnally.com）或任何你最喜欢的导航网站。 去吧，我等你。好的，现在输入林肯纪念堂，华盛顿特区，然后点击搜索地图。 点击屏幕上的小+或-符号来放大或缩小，直到你知道双胞胎在哪里。 看到了吗?这是我们的起点。

It was July 4th, a beautiful sun-drenched afternoon in the nation's capital. The temperature outside was almost ninety, but you couldn't ask for a better day to have a wedding. The sad eyes of Abraham Lincoln looked down over the one hundred or so guests. "Do you, Judy McAllister, take this man to be your husband in the holy state of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, as long as you both shall live?" "I will," Aunt Judy said quietly. Coke turned to look at his mother, who was beaming. She and Judy, her little sister, had not

那是7月4日，一个阳光普照的下午，在美国首都华盛顿。 外面的温度接近90华氏度，但你不能要求一个更好的一天来举行婚礼。 亚伯拉罕·林肯悲伤的眼睛俯视着一百多名客人。 “朱迪·麦卡利斯特，你愿意在这神圣的婚姻中接受这个男人做你的丈夫吗？” 你会爱他，安慰他，尊重他，守护他，无论疾病还是健康，无论富裕还是贫穷，无论顺境还是逆境，无论悲伤还是快乐，只要你们俩都活着吗？”“我会的，”朱迪阿姨平静地说。 科克转过身来看着他的母亲，她正喜气洋洋。 她和她的小妹妹朱迪没有

always gotten along while they were growing up. But all was forgiven now. The minister turned to face the groom, who was sitting in a wheelchair. "And do you, Herman Warsaw, take this woman to be your wife in the holy state of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, as long as you both shall live?" "I do." "By the power vested in me by the District of Columbia, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." For a moment or two, Coke and Pep didn't quite grasp what they had just heard. Did that minister really say "Herman Warsaw"? It couldn't be! Dr. Warsaw was dead. Coke had personally karate kicked him out of The Infinity Room back in Wisconsin a week earlier. It had been hundreds of feet up in the air. There

在他们成长的过程中总是相处得很好。 但现在一切都被原谅了。牧师转身面对着坐在轮椅上的新郎。 “赫尔曼·华沙，你愿意在神圣的婚姻中娶这位女士为妻吗？” 你愿意爱她，安慰她，尊重她，守护她，无论疾病还是健康，无论富裕还是贫穷，无论顺境还是逆境，无论悲伤还是快乐，只要你们俩都活着吗？”“我做的。” “以哥伦比亚特区赋予我的权力，我宣布你们结为夫妻。 你可以吻新娘了。”有那么一会儿，可口可乐和佩普不太明白他们刚刚听到的是什么。 那个部长真的说了“赫尔曼·华沙”吗？ 不可能！华沙医生死了。 一周前，可口可乐亲自用空手道把他赶出了威斯康辛州的无限房间。 它在几百英尺高的空中。 有

was no way he could have survived the fall. And besides, they had seen Dr. Warsaw's obituary in the newspaper. Maybe this guy was a different Herman Warsaw. But no, there he was, sitting in a wheelchair. All decked out in a tuxedo. And getting married. Kissing. Aunt Judy. As smart as they were, it took another moment or two for Coke and Pep to fully process the information. Dr. Warsaw was the reason they had been forced to jump off a cliff near their home in California. He was the reason they were locked in a burning school, pushed into a sand pit, and nearly drowned in a vat of bubbling Spam. It was because of him that they were zapped with electric shocks, lowered into boiling oil, and chased through the streets of Chicago. If Aunt Judy was their mother's sister, and she was marrying Dr. Warsaw, then that meant that Dr. Warsaw was now...

他不可能从坠落中生还。 此外，他们还见过布朗博士。 华沙在报纸上的讣告。 也许这家伙是另一个赫尔曼·华沙。 但不，他就在那里，坐在轮椅上。 全都穿着燕尾服。 还有结婚。接吻。 朱迪阿姨。尽管可口可乐和佩普很聪明，但他们又花了一两分钟才完全处理好这些信息。 华沙医生是他们被迫从加州家附近的悬崖上跳下的原因。 就是因为他，他们才被锁在着火的学校里，被推到沙坑里，差点淹死在一大桶冒泡的午餐肉里。 正是因为他，他们才被电击，被扔进滚烫的油里，在芝加哥的大街上被追赶。 如果朱迪阿姨是他们母亲的妹妹，而她要嫁给。 华沙，那就意味着。 华沙现在……

Uncle Herman! They were related! Dr. Warsaw would be part of their family! How do you sit around the table on Thanksgiving with the man who tried to kill you? Pep's jaw dropped open, and the blood drained from her face. "Are you okay, sweetie?" asked her father. "You're white as a ghost." That's when Pep's eyes rolled back in her head, and she collapsed.

赫尔曼叔叔!他们是亲戚！博士。 华沙将成为他们大家庭的一部分！你怎么能在感恩节和一个想杀你的人坐在一起？ 佩普的下巴张得大大的，脸上的血都流干了。 “你还好吗，宝贝？”爸爸问。 “你白得像鬼一样。” 就在这时，佩普的眼睛在她脑袋里转了转，然后她就倒下了。