19 South of the Border

Chapter 19 SOUTH OF THE BORDER Regular-sized things aren't all that interesting, if the truth be known. There's nothing particularly captivating about a normal frying pan, or a plain old chest of drawers. But a gigantic frying pan, or an enormous chest of drawers, or a twelve-foot-tall ball of twine is inherently fascinating. A teeny-tiny frying pan or a miniature chest of drawers would also be interesting, if such things actually existed. But they don't, outside of dollhouses. It's extremely big things that command our attention. There's something fascinating about them. Towns actually compete with each other and argue over which one has the largest whatever in the world. Why is that?

第十九章边境之南实话实说，一般大小的东西并不那么有趣。 一个普通的煎锅或一个普通的旧抽屉柜并没有什么特别吸引人的地方。 但是一个巨大的煎锅，或者一个巨大的五斗柜，或者一个12英尺高的麻线球本身就是迷人的。 一个很小的煎锅或一个迷你的抽屉柜也会很有趣，如果这些东西真的存在的话。 但他们不喜欢，除了玩具屋。 只有极其重大的事情才会引起我们的注意。 它们有一些吸引人的地方。 城镇之间相互竞争，争论谁拥有世界上最大的东西。 为什么呢？

While you ponder the question, dear reader, the McDonald family is not waiting around for the answer. They're on the move, chugging along at sixty miles per hour on Highway 117 South before exiting onto Route 41. "Listen to this," Mrs. McDonald said as she read from her guidebook. "North Carolina not only has the largest frying pan and chest of drawers in the world. It also has the largest tire, the largest lighthouse, the largest hammock, the largest Ten Commandments, the largest sea hawk, and the largest strawberry!" "That's really interesting, Mom," Coke lied. "Who cares what's the biggest anything in the world?" Dr. McDonald asked, just looking for trouble. "It's not important." "I care, Ben!" Mrs. McDonald replied, giving him one of those looks. "And my readers care." That was the end of the discussion. Coke took out his cell phone so he could send a message to his sister without his parents listening in.

当你思考这个问题时，亲爱的读者，麦当劳家族并没有等待答案。 他们在移动中，以每小时60英里的速度在117号公路上向南行驶，然后驶上41号公路。 “听着，”麦克唐纳太太一边读着旅游指南一边说。 “北卡罗来纳州不仅拥有世界上最大的煎锅和五斗橱。 它还有最大的轮胎、最大的灯塔、最大的吊床、最大的十诫、最大的海鹰和最大的草莓！”“这真的很有趣，妈妈，”可口可乐撒谎道。 “谁在乎世界上最大的东西是什么？”博士。 麦克唐纳问，只是想找麻烦。 “这并不重要。”“我在乎，本！”麦克唐纳太太回答，瞪了他一眼。 “我的读者也很关心。”讨论到此结束。 科克拿出手机，这样他就可以在没有父母偷听的情况下给妹妹发信息。

U THINK MOM IS INSANE? he texted. Just OCD Pep texted back. It was beautiful country in southern North Carolina. They passed by Bay Tree Lake and Bladen Lakes State Forest. When they reached the town of Lumberton, Dr. McDonald merged onto I-95, the superhighway that extends all the way from Maine down to Florida. That's when they started seeing these billboards at the side of the road. You Never Sausage A Place—20 MILES TO SOUTH OF THE BORDER Everybody Needs A Little Stuff—15 MILES TO SOUTH OF THE BORDER World's #1 Miniature Golf—10 MILES TO SOUTH OF THE BORDER It was one after the other. The signs were

你觉得妈妈疯了？他发短信。 只是有强迫症的佩普回了短信。那是北卡罗莱纳南部美丽的乡村。 他们经过了湾树湖和布雷登湖州立森林。 当他们到达兰伯顿镇的时候。 麦克唐纳汇入了95号州际公路，这条高速公路从缅因州一直延伸到佛罗里达州。 那时他们开始在路边看到这些广告牌。 你永远不会把一个地方香肠化——距离边境以南20英里——每个人都需要一点东西——距离边境以南15英里——世界第一迷你高尔夫球场——距离边境以南10英里——一个接一个。 迹象是

unrelenting. The farther south they drove, the more frequently these billboards popped up. "What does South of the Border mean?" Pep finally asked. "Oh, you'll see," her mother replied. Soon another sign appeared in the distance. "Woo-hoo!" Coke hollered. "The Palmetto State!" "Oh, and I suppose you know what a palmetto is?" asked Pep. "Of course I do," Coke replied. "A palmetto is a type of palm tree. During the Revolutionary War, the British attacked a fort here that was made of palmetto trees. The fort didn't fall, so South Carolina became known as the Palmetto State." "I hate you," Pep said disgustedly. One of

无情的。他们越往南开，这些广告牌出现的频率就越高。 “边境以南是什么意思？”佩普最后问道。 “哦，你等着瞧吧，”她妈妈回答。 不久，另一个迹象出现在远处。 “啊!”可口可乐大声喊道。“棕榈之州！”“哦，我想你知道棕榈是什么吧？” “我当然知道，”可口可乐回答。 棕榈是一种棕榈树。 在独立战争期间，英国人袭击了这里的一个由棕榈树制成的堡垒。 堡垒没有被攻陷，所以南卡罗来纳被称为“棕榈之州”。 “我恨你，”佩普厌恶地说。 之一

these days, she decided, she would find some obscure fact her brother didn't know. "Don't say you hate your brother," said Dr. McDonald. "Did you know," Coke informed the family, "that in South Carolina it's illegal to keep a horse in a bathtub? That's a fact." "Oh, just shut up already," said Pep. The terrain was very flat, so even before the McDonalds had crossed the state line, they were able to see something very curious several miles in front of them. It was a tower, maybe two hundred feet high. As they got closer, they could see that perched on the top of it was, for some reason, a gigantic sombrero.

这些天，她决定，她要找出一些她哥哥不知道的隐晦事实。 “不要说你恨你的兄弟。” 麦当劳。“你们知道吗，”科克告诉这家人，“在南卡罗来纳州，把马放在浴缸里是违法的？ 这是事实。”“哦，闭嘴吧，”佩普说。 地形非常平坦，所以即使在麦当劳一家越过州界之前，他们就能看到前方几英里外的一些非常奇怪的东西。 那是座塔，大概有两百英尺高。 当他们走近时，他们可以看到，不知为什么，一个巨大的宽边帽停在它的顶端。

"It looks like the Eiffel Tower," Pep marveled after they had pulled off the exit, "with a Mexican theme." "What is this place?" Coke asked, craning his neck to look all around. "It's the cheesiest, schlockiest, tackiest tourist trap in the world," replied Dr. McDonald as he pulled into the immortal roadside attraction called South of the Border. "Let's go!" shouted the twins.

“它看起来像埃菲尔铁塔，”他们离开出口后，佩普惊叹道，“是墨西哥主题。” “这是什么地方？”科克伸长脖子环顾四周，问道。 “这是世界上最俗气、最邋遢、最俗气的旅游陷阱，”布里格博士回答说。 他把车开进了不朽的路边景点“边境之南”。 “我们走吧！”双胞胎喊道。