21 Over My Dead Body

Chapter 21 OVER MY DEAD BODY 'HANDS UP!" Coke and Pep spun around to see themselves surrounded by five guys wearing black ski masks. They didn't appear to be armed, but they were all poised like ninjas, as if they were about to do martial arts moves. Three elderly tourists backed against the walls of the room, panic in their eyes. "What?!" Coke shouted. "Who are you?" "We're with the Washington, D.C., Police Department," one of the SWAT team barked. "You're under arrest!" The voice sounded familiar, but Coke couldn't place it. And then the guy started whistling "The Yellow Rose of Texas." Coke looked down. He noticed that the "policeman" was wearing cowboy boots. This had to be the guy at the rest stop, the guy

who'd been sending them all those ciphers. "What did we do?" Pep asked, trembling. "We didn't do anything!" "Attempted robbery," said the guy wearing cowboy boots. "We know you were about to steal Dorothy's ruby slippers." "That's ridiculous!" Coke said. "We would never—" "SHUT UP!" said the guy with the cowboy boots. "I don't want to hear your lame excuses. Take 'em, boys." "Sure thing, boss," one of the SWAT team guys said, grabbing Coke roughly by the arm. Another grabbed Pep. The three old ladies who had been looking on, shocked, now appeared to be angry. "Kids!" one of them said, sneering. "They're a couple of juvenile delinquents." "Imagine," the second old lady said, "stealing Dorothy's slippers. Shameful!" "And where are their parents?" asked the third old lady. "That's the problem with children these

days. No adult supervision. They just run wild in the streets." "We didn't—," Coke tried to explain, but a black-gloved hand clapped over his mouth. "Excuse us, folks," the guy in cowboy boots said as they made their way with the twins toward an emergency exit. "Sorry for the disturbance. Gotta keep young creeps like this off the streets. Just doing our job, you understand. Enjoy your day." "Thank you, officers!" one of the old ladies said gratefully. "Thank you for keeping us safe." "No problem, ma'am." The SWAT team dragged the twins out the exit and into the dingy stairwell, locking the emergency exit door behind them. No alarms had sounded. There was no sign of Mya or Bones coming to the rescue. Coke and Pep were on their own. There were stairs leading up from that point, presumably to the roof of the museum. Pep was trying to bite the guy holding her, but it was no use. Coke couldn't move his hands to get to any of the stuff in his backpack.

The guy wearing cowboy boots pulled off his ski mask. "Archie Clone!" Pep said, gasping. Yes, it was evil Archie, the lunatic who had already tried to boil the twins in oil and drown them in ice cream. "You can take off your masks now, boys," he said. "It's safe here." The other members of the SWAT team pulled off their masks. Coke and Pep recognized two of them as the bowler dudes who had been terrorizing them all the way across the country. The other two were pimply teenagers whose faces were not familiar. The five had posed as a legitimate SWAT team, and all of them had big, evil grins on their faces because they had pulled it off. "It's so nice to see you two again," Archie Clone said with false sincerity. "I hope you enjoyed the museum. Did you get the chance to see Albert Einstein's pipe? Warren Harding's pajamas?" "No, we were trying to—" "Shut up!" Archie Clone said. "They were

rhetorical questions." "What does that mean, boss?" asked one of the bowler dudes. "None of your business!" barked Archie Clone irritably. Then he turned back to the twins, rolling his eyes. "Please excuse my dim-witted assistants," he whispered. "Unfortunately, I wasn't able to hire geniuses, like us. These are the guys who used to beat me up at school. Now they work for me." "Leave us alone!" Pep shouted, trying to pull away from the bowler dude who was holding her. "You have a sickness, do you realize that? You should get help." "Pep, Pep, Pep," Archie Clone said, shaking his head sadly. "I thought you and I had an understanding. Actually, I kinda thought you liked me. I was hoping we could watch the Fourth of July fireworks together." "Over my dead body!" Pep shouted, causing the fake SWAT team to giggle uncontrollably. "It's not even the Fourth of July," Coke

informed Archie Clone. "That's tomorrow." "Don't you think I know that, Coke?" Archie Clone asked. "I sent out a series of fake texts talking about a robbery in Washington on the Fourth of July. I hoped your friends Mya and Bones would intercept them. And they did. Now everyone is expecting the big robbery tomorrow. That's why I'm doing it today! Hahahahaha!" "Hahahahahaha" went the fake SWAT team. They sounded like they had been programmed to laugh whenever he did. "What are you going to steal?" Pep asked. "Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," said Archie Clone. "Oh, wait! I almost forgot. I'm going to kill you anyway! Hahahahaha!" "Hahahahahaha" went the SWAT team. "You're going to steal the Star-Spangled Banner from the museum, aren't you?" Coke guessed. "It's the symbol of America." "Of course not," Archie Clone replied. "That's way too obvious. And besides, that flag wouldn't fit on my bedroom wall. Hahahahaha!"