17 Y’all New to These Parts

Chapter 17 Y'ALL NEW TO THESE PARTS? Soon after crossing the Maryland state line, Dr. McDonald pulled off the highway and drove a few miles to Yogi Bear's Jellystone Park Camp-Resort in Williamsport, Maryland. Mrs. McDonald checked in at the office while the kids checked out the pool. It was an uneventful night. In the morning, Dr. McDonald said he was in the mood for poached eggs, and they didn't have any eggs in the RV. So they hit the road looking for a place that served a decent breakfast. It wasn't long before they came upon the Blue Bell, one of those diners that was designed to look like it was from the 1950s. There was a line of stools at the counter, silver chrome and mirrors all over the place. A big jukebox was playing "Great Balls of

Fire" in the corner, alongside a glass case filled with cakes and pies that spun around slowly. Mrs. McDonald picked up a few travel brochures from a rack on the wall. A sign said SEAT YOURSELF, so the McDonalds slid into a booth near the window. Coke was immediately absorbed in reading the menu, which was filled with Maryland trivia. Soon the waitress, a bleached blonde wearing a pink skirt, a little pink hat, and a lot of eye makeup, came roller-skating over to the table. "Howdy, folks," she said in a deep Southern accent. "Y'all new to these parts?" "We're on a cross-country trip," Mrs. McDonald

told her. "My sister is getting married in Washington the day after tomorrow." "Well ain't that sweet?" said the waitress. "So what would you folks like this morning? We got eggs, bacon, sausage, muffins…" "I'll have two poached eggs on toast," said Dr. McDonald. "Adam and Eve on a raft!" the waitress hollered to a guy in the kitchen. "And coffee, please," added Dr. McDonald. "Cuppa joe!" hollered the waitress. Pep kicked Coke under the table, and he shot her a nasty glare before looking back at the menu. "I'll have a western omelet with french fries," said Mrs. McDonald. "One cowboy with spurs!" hollered the waitress. "And no onions, please." "Don't cry over it!" hollered the waitress. "On second thought," said Mrs. McDonald, "can I get an English muffin instead of the french fries?" "Eighty-six the spurs!" hollered the waitress. "Burn the British!"

Pep kicked Coke under the table again. "Hey, stop it!" Coke barked at his sister. "Stop what?" asked Mrs. McDonald. "She's kicking me." "Stop kicking your brother." "I'm not kicking him." "And how about you, little lady?" asked the waitress. "What'll ya have?" "I'll have waffles," Pep said. "Two checkerboards!" hollered the waitress. "And butter, please." "With cow paste!" "And a glass of milk." "One moo juice!" "And what about you, hon?" she asked Coke. "Do you have any cold cereal?" he asked. "Sorry, sugar," the waitress replied. "We're fresh out." "Then I'll have soft-boiled eggs." "Drown the kids!" hollered the waitress. "Do you have rye toast?" asked Coke. "Whiskey down!"

"And a glass of orange juice too," Coke added. "Hug one!" the waitress hollered. "Anything else?" Dr. McDonald had been staring at the waitress ever since they came in. "Say, haven't I met you somewhere before?" he asked. "You look familiar to me." "'Fraid not, hon," she said. "I'm sure I woulda remembered a handsome fella like you." Pep kicked Coke under the table again. When he looked at her angrily, she was mouthing the word "Mya." Coke looked at the waitress, and she winked at him. Pep was right. Under that blond wig and all that makeup, it was Mya! "I'll be back in a jiff with your grub," the waitress—that is, Mya—said. "I gotta … go to the bathroom," Coke said. "Me too," said Pep, getting up. The twins slid out of the booth and hustled over to a hallway where the restrooms were located. Mya was waiting for them, with open arms.

"What are you doing here?" Pep asked as they hugged. "Right now, I'm serving breakfast," she said. Her Southern accent was gone. The short-order cook came over from the kitchen, and when he got close enough, it was obvious that it was Bones. "How did you know we were going to stop at this diner?" Coke asked. "We always know where you are," Bones replied seriously. "Listen, we need to make this quick. We've intercepted a message. Something bad is going to happen in Washington on the Fourth of July." "That's the day after tomorrow," Mya said. "It's going to be something big." "Are you sure it's not the third of July?" Pep asked. "No, it's the fourth," Bones replied. "Our aunt is getting married on the Fourth of July," Pep said. "We're going to be there. What's going to happen?"