16 The Guy with the Black Cowboy Boots

Chapter 16 THE GUY WITH THE BLACK COWBOY BOOTS "Hey guys, guess what?" Mrs. McDonald said excitedly. "It says here that there's a flying saucer parked in a field in Mars, Pennsylvania." "No!" shouted Dr. McDonald. "We're not going!" He had nothing against flying saucers or visiting the town of Mars, Pennsylvania. But Dr. McDonald was anxious to get to Washington. He had never been to the National Air and Space Museum. The World War II Memorial had not been built the last time he was in the nation's capital. The McDonalds weren't planning to spend a lot of days in Washington, and one of them would be taken up by his sister-in-law's wedding. So he didn't want to waste time looking at flying saucers in

Pennsylvania. Mrs. McDonald continued to leaf through her guidebook. "There's a zombie museum near Pittsburgh," she noted. "It's in the mall where they shot the movie Dawn of the Dead." "No!" said Dr. McDonald. "We could visit Mister Ed's Elephant Museum in Orrtanna," she said. "It has over six thousand—" "No!" "In North Huntingdon, there's a McDonald's that has a fourteen-foot-tall Big Mac—" "No!" "They have a Big Mac Sauce Gun—" "No!" "There's this place called the House of Oddities near Pittsburgh—" "No!" "It's only a few miles out of our way—" "No!" Dr. McDonald had been pretty flexible and understanding up until this point. He had agreed to

stop at just about every ridiculous tourist trap as they made their way cross-country. They had visited museums devoted to Pez, yo-yos, mustard, and cannibals. They had visited the largest ball of twine in the world. They had even visited the second largest ball of twine in the world. But now he felt the need to assert himself—especially after the Hoover Historical Center turned out to be about the vacuum cleaner instead of the president. So he drove on. In Pennsylvania, Interstate 76 is called the Pennsylvania Turnpike. It extends 359 miles across the state. Some people call it the "Tunnel Highway" because it goes through a number of tunnels that were blasted in the mountains. There was little traffic on the turnpike, and they were making good time. But eventually driver fatigue set in and Dr. McDonald pulled off I-76 near Somerset, Pennsylvania. It was just a few miles to Pioneer Park Campground, at the foot of the Laurel Ridge Mountains. After a quick dinner, the family went their

separate ways for a while. Dr. McDonald bought a newspaper and found an empty hammock where he could read. Mrs. McDonald updated the Amazing but True website. Coke went to check out the lake, where some kids were fishing. Pep worked on the latest cipher they had received, with no success. The McDonalds had enjoyed a lot of togetherness over the last two weeks, and everybody was starting to feel the need for a little alone time. As darkness fell, they all returned to the RV to go to bed. In the middle of the night, Coke began talking in his sleep. "Don't wanna go to Washington," he grunted, almost incoherently. "Mrs. Higgins… bowler dudes… Archie Clone… Don't wanna go… Wanna go home…" Eventually, the noise woke up his parents. They climbed out of bed to make sure Coke was okay. "Don't wanna go… D.C.… Don't wanna go… Wanna go home…" "He's having a nightmare," Dr. McDonald

whispered. "I guess he really doesn't want to go to my sister's wedding," Mrs. McDonald whispered back. "Boys hate getting dressed up," said Dr. McDonald. "I'll bet that's it. When I was a kid, I'd do anything to get out of wearing a jacket and tie." "Shhhh," Mrs. McDonald whispered as she tucked the covers in around Coke. "Everything will be fine, honey." In the morning, they were back on the turnpike by nine o'clock. Pep looked at her new cell phone and announced that it was the first of July. Three days until the big wedding. Two days until … something was going to happen in Washington. She had no idea what it was going to be. He had driven about thirty miles when Dr. McDonald noticed the needle on the gas gauge was only slightly above E. At the next rest area—in Bedford, Pennsylvania—he pulled into the gas station to fill up the tank. While his father took care of the gas and his

sister went to buy a pack of gum, Coke went off to use the restroom. "What's wrong with the bathroom in the RV?" his mother asked. "It's gross, Mom." Coke pulled open the door to the men's bathroom and looked around, just to be on the safe side. Nobody was in there. The three stalls were empty, and Coke went into the middle one. While he was in there doing his business, he heard the door open and footsteps enter the men's restroom. Somebody was whistling "The Yellow Rose of Texas." Coke leaned forward and peeked under the stall door to see that the guy who came in was wearing black cowboy boots. Peeking through the narrow crack near the stall door, Coke could see the guy was wearing a large cowboy hat. But he couldn't see the guy's face. There was the sound of water in a sink, and then the electric hand dryer. The guy was standing just a foot or two away from the stall. It made Coke feel uncomfortable, and he didn't stand up even though he was finished. He