2 The Something on the Beach

2. THE SOMETHING ON THE BEACH Poor Fishlegs jumped two feet in the air, thinking that the Something might be a ghost-lady. But it was Something large and solid sticking up out of the white sands of the Beach of the Broken Heart. 'Maybe it's Camicazi's boat!' cried Hiccup hopefully, screwing up his eyes and trying to see. 'Perhaps it crashed and it's sticking kind of upwards out of the sand…' 'WARRIORS!' bellowed Stoick. 'LET US INVESTIGATE THE SOMETHING ON THE BEACH BEFORE WE CARRY ON LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT CAMPING SPOT! IT COULD BE THE MISSING CHILD WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!' The Warriors were a little reluctant, to say the least.

The sun was sinking rapidly, in a beautiful display of pink and red and gold. However, no one was in the mood to appreciate a lovely sunset. Was it their imaginations, or was that drumming noise coming from the direction of the island of Berserk getting louder? 'But Chief,' Nobber Nobrains pointed out, 'that beach over there is not only haunted, it is also part of the territory of UG the Uglithug.' UG the Uglithug didn't like visitors. 'Well we're not going to land or anything are we?' barked Stoick the Vast. 'We're just going to check it out… and what are you doing questioning my orders? I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP AND YOU SHOULD OBEY WITHOUT QUESTION!' So they oared their weary way towards the Something on the beach, grumbling as they went. 'O Useless, you're just a delight I could just smack your Useless fat head,' snarled Snotlout savagely. 'And I would if I wasn't too tired and hungry to be bothered.' But as they drew nearer, into the shallower water of the Bay, through a jigsaw of floating driftwood that had been thrown up by the storm, even in the failing light of the dying evening it clearly wasn't a boat. 'It's too rectangular,' said Fishlegs.

What could it be? Fishlegs had just decided in his head that it was a COFFIN when there was a sudden CRRRUNCCH!! from the ship's bottom and they came to an abrupt halt. 'FOOLS!' yelled Stoick. 'You've hit a rock!' 'You didn't tell us to stop,' pointed out Nobber Nobrains, not unreasonably. 'You're the Captain. We just obey orders.' They had hit a rock, and holed the boat. Water poured in from the starboard side. And The Fat Penguin gently laid her very fat bottom on the sand of the Beach of the Broken Heart and refused to move. It is always embarrassing for a Viking when he sinks his own boat. Especially in only two feet of water. It is an occupational hazard.

But it could not have happened at a more awkward time. The Vikings got out of the boat. The water was knee-deep. Tactfully, nobody said anything. 'THUNDERING THIGHS AND GINGERY WHISKERS AND LITTLE TWIRLY BITS OF THE GREAT GOD THOR!' exclaimed Stoick the Vast, bright red in the face. As he shook his fist at the heavens above, the last blink of sun disappeared on the horizon, and there they were, stranded on the

Beach of the Broken Heart until they could mend the boat in the morning. 'RIGHT!' shouted Stoick the Vast. 'I think we've found our camp for the night.' The Hooligans on the other boat weren't so very keen to join them on the beach. 'Our boat is all right,' called out Baggybum the Beerbelly. 'We might just stay aboard and sleep here…' 'WHADDAYATALKING ABOUT?' roared Stoick the Vast. 'HOOLIGANS STAND TOGETHER! GET OUT HERE DOUBLE QUICK!' It was not what you might call the perfect camping spot. But what choice did they have? The sun had sunk. So had their boat. The moon was coming up, and the first of the Glow-worms were beginning to light up the still evening air. Too tired to argue, the Hooligans anchored the other boat where it was, and threw their animal skin blankets over their shoulders, and waded through the knee-high water and up and on to the beach. At least they found out what the Something on the beach was. It was a Throne.

An enormous, empty THRONE. It was carved out of a single piece of white marble, but it had obviously just come out of the water, for it was covered with a film of green algae, and it was plastered as thickly with barnacles as if they were jewels, and long trails of seaweed drifted from the shell-encrusted arms. The Throne was enormous, and such was its solid position on the beach it was as if it were inhabited by a giant invisible god, sitting there quietly, looking out to sea. 'How extraordinary,' breathed Stoick the Vast. 'Where do you think this came from? And the Hooligan coat of arms is on the back! This must belong to US… How quite extraordinary! But I've never seen a Throne like this in my life! And what on earth is a valuable Hooligan Throne doing miles out here, abandoned on a beach in the Uglithug Territories? It's ini… ini… what do I mean to say, Hiccup?' 'Inexplicable,' said Hiccup, peering rather cautiously at the Throne. There was something about this Throne that gave him the spooks. Maybe it was the faint impression of a blood-stain on the back of it. A very old