7 The Quest to Discover America

7. THE QUEST TO DISCOVER AMERICA So this was how Hiccup, Camicazi and Fishlegs got themselves kidnapped by Norbert the Nutjob, and found themselves in a boat that was sailing out of the Archipelago, never to return. Of course, Hiccup, Camicazi and Fishlegs did not want to go to America. Besides which, there was the tiny problem of crossing the Great West Ocean which, Hiccup knew, was full of Sea-Dragons so large and fearsome that they could swallow the ship they were standing on in one gulp. 'So… what do we do now then, Hiccup?' asked Fishlegs slowly. 'Well,' said Hiccup, through chattering teeth. 'Let's dry our wet things, first of all.' The chimney at the back of the deck out of which the smoke was pouring was hot to the touch, so they leant against it for a couple of hours, letting the lovely warmth penetrate their frozen bodies. The green streaky remains of the Fleshfang oil on their cheeks and arms made them look like three cold-blooded little lizards baking in the sunshine. Their salty clothes were stiff as cardboard, but at least they were dry.

When they had finally stopped shivering, they began to explore their floating prison. Hysterics are a Tribe of dreamers, lunatics and inventors, so the American Dream 2 was not your ordinary Viking ship. The steam pouring out of the chimney was a distinctive grey-green, so Hiccup suspected it was dragon-smoke, probably coming from dragons hidden within the belly of the ship. Hiccup would have loved to see by what mechanism this steam powered the boat.* *Hiccup's memoirs seem to suggest that Norbert had built a steam-ship, many, many centuries before steam was used to power marine craft, Similarly, the artist Leonardo da Vinci drew designs for a helicopter, a trench-digging machine, a deep-sea diving suit, a revolving bridge, a calculator, a hang-glider and a tank, four hundred years before any of these things were 'invented'. The dragons weren't the only mad thing about this vessel. There was a weird thing with wings sprouting out of the side that a Hysteric called Red Ronald told them was Norbert's attempt at a Flying Machine. Unfortunately it didn't really work yet. Several times during the day, Norbert ordered three unfortunate members of his crew to try it out, hauling the Machine all the way up to the top of the Mast on ropes, and then launching it from the crow's nest. It only stayed up in the sky for a couple of minutes, before crashing spectacularly into the Ocean,

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and the crew members had to be rescued, and the Machine mended again. And then there was an extraordinary Machine with a wheel that the crew took in turns to pedal with their feet, which was attached to a large trumpet-like funnel. It was very difficult to work out what the purpose of this Machine was. At the moment it was Verociously Violent's turn on the Machine, because his arm was still recovering from the gash he had received from the Axe of Doom incident, so he wasn't much good at pulling on ropes and other tasks around the boat at the moment. Hiccup was so curious about what the Machine did that he approached Verociously to ask what he was doing. 'Oh, this is the Keep-the-Boat-From-Sinkingand-Scare-Away-the-Big-Sea-Creatures Machine,' explained Verociously Violent, stopping pedalling for a second to answer Hiccup's question. 'It stops the boat from sinking and it also scares away the Sea-Monsters, Great Terrorwings, Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, that sort of thing.'* Some of Norbert's inventions were more practical than others, because the line between genius and total loopiness is quite a fine one. 'KEEP PEDALLING! KEEP PEDALLING!' screamed Norbert the Nutjob, marching up, and the Hysteric hurriedly resumed, so fast his feet were a blur.

'And YOU,' Norbert turned to Hiccup, 'STOP DISTRACTING THE CREW! If this man here stops turning this wheel for even one second, the boat will sink, and we could be attacked by one of the Ocean Dragon-Mammoths.' 'Fascinating,' said Hiccup, very politely, thinking, nutty as an absolute fruitcake. 'Is there any chance,' gulped Fishlegs hopefully as they walked away, 'that that thing could work?' 'Yeah, right,' replied Hiccup. 'Like a revolving tube with a funnel attached is really going to stop a boat from sinking…' At the end of the first day of The Quest to Discover America, the sun sank in a glorious technicolour display of pink and gold streaked with red. The three young Vikings sat and worried…

and worried… and worried. (Actually, two of them worried; Camicazi just played with Toothless.) They worried until it was late at night, and the Hysterics had built a fire on deck, and were singing songs to the rising moon. The songs were about the life of a Viking. You have to imagine Norbert the Nutjob adding the HO!s, while banging his axe on the bottom of an iron bucket.