3 Isn’t That Snotlout a Lovely Guy

3. ISN'T THAT SNOTLOUT A LOVELY GUY? Hiccup and Fishlegs and Camicazi didn't see what was happening behind them. They had some problems of their own. Hiccup had set off as fast as he possibly could, still hot with embarrassment at the scene on the beach. 'Wait up,' begged Fishlegs, sploshing after Hiccup and Camicazi in a clumsy dog-paddle,

'it's really tricky trying to swim in these beastly armbands. We don't have to go too far you know, we're not Warriors, we're only in this competition for the fun of it… always supposing your idea of fun is freezing your horns off in Sharkworm-infested waters, of course…' As soon as Hiccup got out of his depth, the weight of his helmet and his sword made him drop abruptly, and it was only by kicking madly that he was able to keep his chin out of the water. Even Camicazi was finding that swimming fully armed took a lot of concentration. Her sword and daggers weighed her down so far to the right that she had a tendency to swim round in circles. 'Oh BOTHER!' complained Hiccup. 'How am I possibly going to beat Snotlout at this rate?'

They were so busy trying to keep afloat that they hadn't noticed Snotlout and Dogsbreath the Duhbrain swimming up behind them. (Which shows how distracted they were–Dogsbreath's splashy crawl was as noisy as a hippo in a bathtub.) The two bullies overheard the last bit of the conversation, and Snotlout was laughing so hard he was in danger of drowning. 'You said it, Hiccup, you loser!' crowed Snotlout. 'One of you three? Beat me? I've never heard anything so funny in my life!' 'Her Her Her,' grunted Dogsbreath, snorting seawater out of his nose. 'The thing is, Hiccup,' sneered Snotlout, 'you heard everybody laughing on the beach… you guys are just an embarrassment to the Tribe.' Snotlout's eyes were alight with real murderous malice. He looked over his shoulder to check that nobody could see what he was doing. 'I am now going to give you, Hiccup, a lesson in being a Viking Hero, and you, Fishlegs, a lesson in how to swim without your armbands on…'

'No!' shrieked Fishlegs, trying to swim away. But he hadn't a hope of escaping. Both Snotlout and Dogsbreath were big, burly adolescents and they caught him easily, ducking Hiccup and Camicazi along the way. Snotlout popped the right armband with his dagger and Dogsbreath removed the left. 'Now, Hiccup,' purred Snotlout. 'You can just about make it back to shore on your own, but if you try to do it holding Fishlegs, I don't fancy your chances. So… what do you do? I suggest you do us all a favour, and ditch the LOSER, but it's up to you, of course.' And the two bullies swam away, laughing.

Hiccup resurfaced, gasping, and thrashed through the water towards poor Fishlegs, who was going under for the second time. With the help of Toothless, Stormfly and Fishlegs's hunting- dragon Horrorcow, he got the boy upright with his head out of the water, but Fishlegs was so terrified he was struggling and in danger of dragging Hiccup under with him. 'STOP PANICKING AND RELAX!' shouted Hiccup sharply. 'RELAX!' shrieked Fishlegs. 'HOW CAN I RELAX? I'M DROWNING! DROWNING ISN'T VERY RELAXING!' But he stopped struggling, and forced himself to go limp, and floated on to the surface with Hiccup and Camicazi holding him by the shoulders. 'OK,' said Hiccup, in his I'm-trying-to-stay-calmbut-really-I-want-to-run-around-in-circles-screaming voice,

'now I think we might have a bit of a problem…' As Hiccup bobbed upwards on the waves, he could see the shoreline, and suddenly it seemed very distant. Hiccup wasn't sure that he could make that swim back carrying Fishlegs all the way, even with Camicazi helping. This is the trouble with a Proper Viking Swimming Race. It's a game of judgment as well as endurance. You have to be very careful that you don't go out so far that you run out of energy to make it back. 'We'd better get Fishlegs back to the shore, then,' Hiccup said with a confidence he was far from feeling.