2 May The Fattest (and Least Stupid) Man (or Woman) Win

2. MAY THE FATTEST (AND LEAST STUPID) MAN (OR WOMAN) WIN Hiccup's father and grandfather came over to the boys to wish them luck. Hiccup's father, Stoick the Vast, O Hear His Name and Tremble, Ugh, Ugh, was the Chief of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe. He was built in the traditional Viking mould, six-and-a-half-feet high, belly like a battleship, eyebrows blowing in the breeze like a couple of large hamsters doing cartwheels. He was horribly hearty, and full of the joys of spring. 'Fabulous day for a Swimming Race!' he roared happily. 'I'm not sure I agree with you,' wheezed Old Wrinkly, Hiccup's grandfather, who was one of the Judges in the competition. He was a wrinkled old oyster of a man, whose ancient back had been blown into a hoop by ninety years of Archipelago gales. His long tangly white beard trailed behind him, picking up shells and seaweed as it dragged in the sand. Old Wrinkly had been trying to persuade Stoick not to take part in the Race.

2. 希卡普的父亲和祖父来到孩子们身边，祝他们好运。 小嗝嗝的父亲，巨人斯托伊克，哦，听到他的名字就发抖，啊，啊，是毛流氓部落的首领。 他是按照传统的维京人模型建造的，六英尺半高，肚子像一艘战舰，眉毛在微风中摆动，就像两只大仓鼠在翻筋斗。 他精神饱满，充满了春天的欢乐。 “真是游泳比赛的好天气！”他高兴地吼道。 “我不太同意你的看法，”小嗝嗝的祖父老皱纹气喘吁吁地说，他是比赛的评委之一。 他是一个满脸皱纹的老牡蛎，他那苍老的脊背被群岛九十年的大风吹成了一个圆圈。 他那又长又乱的白胡子拖在身后，拖着沙子，捡起贝壳和海草。 老皱纹一直试图说服斯托伊克不要参加比赛。

'I have been looking into the Future and the Omens are not good,' whispered the old man. 'NONSENSE!' pooh-poohed Stoick the Vast. 'Everyone knows you're hopeless at looking into the Future, Old Wrinkly. Now, I'm obviously going to win this Race,' said Stoick, who didn't do modesty, 'but, Hiccup, I would like YOU to beat Snotface Snotlout and that sort of thing…' Snotface Snotlout was Hiccup's cousin. He was a good foot-and-a-half taller than Hiccup, incredibly muscly and tough, and better at Hiccup at practically everything. Hiccup had no chance of beating him in a Swimming Race. But Stoick often didn't notice things like that. Stoick gave Hiccup a kindly biff on the shoulder. 'I KNOW you can do it, son!' he said enthusiastically. 'You may be small, but you're wiry! And your legs might be just a trifle on the skinny side, but you've got the old Horrendous Haddock fight in those knobbly knees! All you have to remember, lad,' said Stoick, taking Hiccup by the shoulders and looking into his eyes, 'is one thing. Repeat after me: KEEP KICKING!' 'Keep kicking,' said Hiccup slowly. 'LOUDER!' bellowed Stoick, punching the air. 'KEEP KICKING!' shouted Hiccup, punching the air too.

“我一直在展望未来，但预兆并不好，”老人低声说。 “胡说八道!巨人斯托伊克哼了一声。 “谁都知道你不善于预测未来，老皱纹。 “现在，很明显我要赢得这场比赛，”斯托伊克说，他并不谦虚，“但是，小嗝嗝，我希望你能打败鼻涕脸和诸如此类的事情……” 他比嗝嗝高了整整一英尺半，肌肉结实，几乎什么都比嗝嗝好。 小嗝嗝在游泳比赛中不可能打败他。 但斯托伊克通常不会注意到这样的事情。 斯托伊克亲切地拍了一下小嗝嗝的肩膀。 “我知道你能做到的，孩子！”他热情地说。 “你也许很小，但你很强壮！”你的腿可能有点瘦，但你的膝盖上有可怕的黑线鳕！“你只需要记住一件事，孩子，”斯托伊克抓住小嗝嗝的肩膀，看着他的眼睛说，“就一件事。 跟我念：继续踢！“继续踢，”小嗝嗝慢慢地说。 “响!斯托伊克挥拳吼道。 “保持踢!小嗝嗝喊道，同时也在空中挥拳。

'That's the spirit!' beamed-Stoick, 'I know you'll make me proud, so don't let me down, now!' And he marched off, beaming happily. Both Old Wrinkly and Hiccup sighed as they watched Stoick bustling off. 'He's a good lad Stoick, really,' wheezed Old Wrinkly, 'but he never EVER listens.' 'No,' agreed Hiccup sadly, 'he doesn't. I haven't got a HOPE of beating Snotlout.' Old Wrinkly turned his bright, razor-shell-sharp eyes on his grandson. 'We'll see,' said Old Wrinkly. 'Now, this is very important, Hiccup. Have you got your ticking-thing?' 'Yes,' answered Hiccup, surprised. The ticking-thing was a strange round object, with a front that was hard and transparent, like ice. Behind it were all these rune numbers set in different circles, and at least seven arrows, all different colours. Hiccup had discovered many uses for the ticking-thing. One arrow seemed to tell the time. Another always pointed north, which was extremely useful if you were lost. And since it

“就是这种精神！”斯托伊克笑道，“我知道你会让我骄傲的，所以别让我失望，现在！”说完，他高高兴兴地走了。 老皱纹和小嗝嗝看着斯托伊克匆匆离去，都叹了口气。 “他是个好孩子，斯托伊克，真的，”老皱纹气喘吁吁地说，“可是他从来不听。“不，”小嗝嗝悲伤地附和道，“他不知道。” 我没有希望打败鼻涕精。”老皱纹把他明亮的、锋利的眼睛转向他的孙子。 “我们走着瞧，”老皱纹说。 “现在，这件事很重要，小嗝嗝。 你有滴答声吗？“是的，”小嗝嗝惊讶地回答。 那个滴答作响的东西是个奇怪的圆形物体，正面坚硬而透明，像冰一样。 在它的后面，是用不同的圆圈围成的符文数字，还有至少七支不同颜色的箭。 小嗝嗝发现了这个滴答作响的东西的许多用途。 一只箭头似乎可以显示时间。 另一个总是指向北方，如果你迷路了，这是非常有用的。 既然

was quite a changeable day, with the prospect of this strong easterly wind blowing you off course, Hiccup thought it might be handy on this occasion. The ticking-thing was waterproof, too. Hiccup's only worry was that he was going to LOSE it, so he had attached it to his wrist with a long piece of rope, and then tucked it into his waistcoat pocket. 'Excellent!' said Old Wrinkly. 'Hand it to me, for a moment…' Hiccup took the ticking-thing out from his pocket. Old Wrinkly opened the back of it and began to fiddle with some of the little buttons inside. 'Now, Hiccup,' said Old Wrinkly, 'I haven't got time to explain, but you have to return to this beach within THREE MONTHS, FIVE DAYS AND SIX HOURS, do you understand me?' 'THREE MONTHS, FIVE DAYS, AND SIX HOURS?' gasped Hiccup. 'What ARE you talking about? I'm not going to last more than fifteen minutes out there!' 'I've set the alarm for you,' said Old

这是一个变化多端的日子，强劲的东风可能会把你吹离航线，小嗝嗝觉得在这种情况下它可能会派上用场。 滴答作响的东西也是防水的。 小嗝嗝唯一担心的是他会把它弄丢，所以他用一根长绳子把它系在手腕上，然后把它塞进背心口袋里。 “太好了!老皱纹说。 “把它递给我，就一会儿……”嗝嗝从口袋里掏出了检票的东西。 老皱纹打开它的后面，开始摆弄里面的一些小纽扣。 “喂，小嗝嗝，”老皱纹说，“我没有时间跟你解释了，你必须在3个月5天6小时内回到海滩上来，明白吗？”“三个月，五天，六个小时？”嗝嗝喘着气说。 “你在说什么呀？” 我在外面坚持不了十五分钟！“我已经给你设好闹钟了，”老说

Wrinkly, putting the ticking-thing back into Hiccup's waistcoat pocket. 'When you have less than six hours left, it will start to tick louder. And if the alarm goes off, well, then you will know you are too late… DON'T BE LATE now, Hiccup, will you? I'm counting on you, boy…' And Old Wrinkly hurried off to the Judges' Table, with Hiccup staring after him with his mouth open. 'Mad as a banana,' said Hiccup. All the competitors were crowded at the start line drawn in the sand twenty metres from the sea, chatting with each other. Big-Boobied Bertha, the Chief of the Bog-Burglar Tribe, was slapping Blubberwing fat on to her arms, her gigantic boobies flapping so buoyantly and joyously in the wind that it looked as if any second they might carry her up into the sky like a couple of hot air balloons. Bertha had a foghorn voice with the kind of carrying quality that could be heard several islands away. She was telling everyone within a two-mile radius that SHE was Bertha the Unsinkable, the Archipelago Swimming Champion, and that everybody else might as well go home right now.

皱着眉头，把滴答声的东西放回小嗝嗝的背心口袋里。 “当你剩下不到六个小时的时候，它会开始更响。 如果闹钟响了，你就会知道你来晚了……别迟到了，小嗝嗝，好吗？ 我就指望你了，孩子……”说完，老皱纹匆匆走向裁判桌，小嗝嗝张着嘴盯着他。 “像香蕉一样疯狂，”小嗝嗝说。 所有的选手都挤在离海20米远的沙地上划出的起跑线前，互相聊天。 大胸伯莎是沼泽飞贼部落的首领，她正把肥肥拍打在自己的胳膊上，她的大胸在风中欢快地扇动着，似乎随时都有可能像两只热气球一样把她抬上天空。 伯莎的声音像雾号一样响亮，隔着几个岛都能听到。 她告诉方圆两英里内的每一个人，她是永不沉没的伯莎，群岛游泳冠军，其他人最好现在就回家。