9 The Hairy Scary Librarian

9. THE HAIRY SCARY LIBRARIAN The Something was a man as tall and thin as a broom, with a wild mop of hair, and a beard so long he could have wiped his feet on it. He had tucked this beard into his belt, along with a whole armoury of nasty-looking weapons, axes, swords, and the terrifying Northbow. Hiccup immediately recognised the man as the Hairy Scary Librarian himself, for he had seen him many times before at Elders' Meetings. Somehow, though, he hadn't looked half as scary out in the open air, surrounded by the other Viking Warriors. Here, in the cold heart of his Library, with his cold, sad, half-blind eyes, and his cracked voice whispering like his throat was full of broken glass, here, he was very scary indeed. 'The Library is closed,' croaked the Hairy Scary Librarian. Camicazi backed away from him. 'Umm… yes, we were just leaving, actually…' she said, quietly drawing out her own sword. 'Ssssh…' said the Librarian. 'Your friend has

one of my books in his backpack. It is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN to remove books from the Library. Give it back to me, please, or I shall be reluctantly forced to kill you.' Hiccup drew his sword as well. (Fishlegs TRIED to draw his, but unfortunately it stuck in the scabbard, and however hard he tugged, he couldn't pull it out.) 'I'm very, very sorry,' said Hiccup, politely, and he meant this most sincerely for Hiccup wasn't a natural Burglar, 'but I really, really need this book. It's a matter of life or death.' And then he went on, less politely, for he was feeling rather indignant about this, 'And these books aren't just YOUR books, they belong to the whole of the Viking Nations. We should ALL be allowed to read them, and this really should be a Library that is open to the Public. All this knowledge could be very important.' 'Well, I'm very sorry, too,' whispered the Hairy Scary Librarian, sadly shaking his head and drawing out another sword with his left hand. 'But I think that these books are MINE all MINE.' A horrible gloating and greedy look came into his mad, blind eyes. 'Perhaps you should bring this up with "the Thing"… However I'm not sure they will listen to you as books

are considered to be DANGEROUS, and strictly banned, by their own order. And furthermore, it will be rather difficult for you to bring it up because you will be DEAD.' And the Librarian lunged at Hiccup with the sword in his right hand, and at Camicazi with the sword in his left, and the three of them began to fight. 'Can't we talk about this, like reasonable people?' asked Hiccup, jumping out of the way of the Librarian's razor-sharp sword, and nipping in with a thrust of his own. 'Did I say I was a reasonable person?' whispered the Librarian in surprise. 'Mash him!' squealed Toothless, who like all dragons, had a bloodthirsty streak, 'Rip him and tear him and stomp on him and bite him and take all his eggs!' The Librarian was a very fine swordfighter, for both Camicazi and Hiccup were extremely good at swordfighting themselves, and the Librarian was fighting them both at the same time. 'OOOhhhh, you're really quite good at this, for a Moronic Meathead,' exclaimed Camicazi in pleasure, as he deflected her Loki's Lunge with Double Twist, and replied with a Thrusting Thor and a couple of

Swivelling Swipes. Camicazi loved to have the practice of fighting a really good opponent. 'Be quiet,' hissed the Hairy Scary Librarian. 'Unless you want the Driller-Dragons to find us and death by Driller-Dragon is such an untidy way to DIE. Far neater to go swiftly on the point of my Heart-Slicers, but it's up to you, of course…'

Hiccup was in fine form, neatly dodging the Librarian's fiercest sword strokes, and throwing in some challenging thrusts of his own, while Camicazi's sword was swivelling like a tornado. Toothless and Stormfly also entered into the battle, shrieking rude encouragements, and flying as close as they dared so they could nip in and bite the Librarian on the sword-arm in order to put him off.

But on the other side, the Librarian seemed to be unmoved by the dragon-bites. He was a fully-grown adult, much stronger and bigger than they were, calm and capable as a juggler at fighting both of them at the same time, and every thrust he made was aimed at their hearts. 'You know, I've got a bad feeling about this, Camicazi,' said Hiccup, slightly nervously, as the Librarian deflected his Double-Backed Left-Handed Through-Lunge, 'I think this guy could be a FlashMaster like Humungously Hotshot the Hero.'* 'You know, I was just wondering the very same thing,' said Camicazi, with interest. 'Only a FlashMaster would know how to parry a Switch-hander… an Overpoint… and a Golden Grimpiercer… and live to tell the tale…' FlashMasters were the very highest of Sword- Artists. They had all studied under the Great Flashburn himself, at his School of Swordfighting, and they were virtually unbeatable at the Art. 'I is a FlashMaster,' croaked the Hairy Scary Librarian, and his death mask grin was most horrible to behold, 'and I is going to croak you with me Heart- Slicers… from your goggle-screams…' (The Hairy Scary Librarian lunged to the right at Camicazi's