4 Bog-Burglars Do Not Always Tell the Truth

4. BOG-BURGLARS DO NOT ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH 'The Hooligans WORSHIP this stupid book,' Hiccup moaned, picking up one of the torn bits and trying to fit it to another. 'They think it has the answer to everything… My father thinks it's going to win him his bet against Big-Boobied Bertha and NOW look at it… it's ruined… what were you thinking of, Toothless?' 'W-w-was on the chair,' sniffed Toothless. 'P-p-paper is kind of woody… Me eat the book first, then the chair.' 'What are we going to do?' Hiccup wailed, throwing down the bits of book in despair. 'We can't mend this! And Toothless will be banished!' 'Toothless d-d-doesn't want to be banished…' wailed Toothless. Camicazi was doing a handstand against the wall, but she came down to say, 'I'm sure there's other copies of that book in the Meathead Public Library. All we have to do is nip over there and steal one.' There was a stunned silence.

'That's a GREAT idea, that is,' said Fishlegs, sarcastically. 'What about the Hairy Scary Librarian and his Heart-Slicers?' 'Oh, come on, it's just one teeny little mad old Librarian guarding that whopping great Library, we could be in and out before he even knew we were there,' said Camicazi breezily. 'How about it, Hiccup? Are you on for proving that Hooligans are just as good at Burglary as Bog-Burglars?' Now, Camicazi wasn't strictly telling the truth, was she, when she said that the Hairy Scary Librarian was the ONLY person guarding the Meathead Public Library. As we saw in Chapter One, there was also the small matter of the four hundred Meathead Warrior Guards, not to mention their Driller-Dragons. Unfortunately Hiccup didn't know anything about the Meathead Public Library, apart from the fact that he had met the Hairy Scary Librarian once or twice and he didn't like the look of him. And, he thought, if the Library was as big as Camicazi said it was, perhaps they could just sneak in very quietly and whip one of the books without anyone being any the wiser? And then Toothless wouldn't be banished, and Stoick would be pleased, and they would win his bet for him.

So he said slowly, 'OK then… let's do that…' And from that moment on, they were DOOMED. 'YIPEEEE!' sang Camicazi, punching the air. 'It's BURGLARY time! This is great, I've been looking for an excuse to steal my mother's Stealth Dragon!' and she hurried out of the house and towards the Dragon Stables, followed closely by a worried Hiccup, a worried Toothless, and an even more worried Fishlegs. 'Hang on a second,' puffed Hiccup, feeling that the situation was spiralling out of control, 'what's all this about stealing people's Stealth Dragons? What is a Stealth Dragon? And where did your mother get it from in the first place?' 'She nicked it from Madguts the Murderous two days ago,' explained Camicazi. 'It's one of their Secret Weapons. I expect that's why she accepted your father's burglary bet. She knew he would NEVER come up with anything more impressive than burgling a Secret Weapon from the Murderous Tribe.' 'Or anything CRAZIER,' Hiccup pointed out, 'NOBODY steals things from Madguts the Murderous… And what are we going to need this Stealth Dragon thing for, anyway, if this Library is only guarded by one person?'

'Oh, well,' replied Camicazi, thinking on her feet, 'you never know, the Hairy Scary Librarian could be looking out the window when we turn up… and he won't see us coming, will he, if we're sitting on the back of a Stealth Dragon? Here we are!' she said happily. Camicazi had now reached the Dragon Stables, and she flung open a particularly enormous stable door, and gestured in triumph to the inside. 'Feast your eyes on that!' whooped Camicazi. 'THAT is a Stealth Dragon!' Author's note: Unfortunately we cannot show you a picture of a Stealth Dragon, due to the fact that they are invisible.