14 Madguts Will be Steaming Mad

14. MADGUTS WILL BE STEAMING MAD Stoick had a difficult afternoon of not finding things. Firstly he was looking for the How to Train Your Dragon book. Then he couldn't find his son, because he felt that maybe he had been a little crosser than he should have been, particularly given that it was Hiccup's birthday. But both book and son had vanished into thin air, even though he had sent half the Tribe all over Berk looking for them. As the sun began to sink that evening, Big-Boobied Bertha stomped into his Chiefly Hut, with a confident smirk on her face. The mighty bosoms of Big-Boobied Bertha had killed many a Warrior in mortal combat. She was a great monster of a woman, who closely resembled a Woolly Mammoth in a dress, and even in a one-on-one social situation she tended to bellow at the top of her fog-horn voice, as if she was trying to be heard by troops at the other end of a large-ish battlefield. 'So this is where you're hiding, is it, Stoick, you old Warthog?' she yelled cheerfully, giving him a playful tug on the whiskers that made him bristle furiously.

14. 疯狂的斯托伊克度过了一个艰难的下午，什么也没找到。 首先，他在找《如何驯龙》这本书。 然后他找不到他的儿子了，因为他觉得自己可能有点过分了，尤其是考虑到今天是小嗝嗝的生日。 但是书和儿子都消失得无影无踪了，尽管他派了半个部落的人到伯克岛到处寻找他们。 那天晚上，太阳开始下沉，大胸伯莎大步走进他的小屋，脸上带着自信的傻笑。 大咪咪伯莎那强壮的胸膛在殊死搏斗中杀死了许多战士。 她是一个巨大的女人，像一头穿着裙子的长毛象，即使在一对一的社交场合，她也喜欢用她那雾角般的最高音量吼叫，好像她想让大战场另一端的部队听到似的。 “这就是你躲的地方，是吗，斯托伊克，你这头老疣猪？”她高兴地喊道，顽皮地拉了拉他的胡子，弄得他怒不可遏。

'Hoping you can skulk in here till I'll forget about the bet, are you? Well, I haven't. It's the end of the day, your time's up, and I hope you're ready to give me those axes. Where's your proof that you lettuce- hearted, rabbit-brained, butter-fingered Hooligans are better at burglary than us Bog-Burglars?' Stoick's chest swelled with indignation. 'We Hooligans are the finest Burglars in the world!' he yelled, punching his fist in the air. 'One of my Warriors, Gobber the Belch, has stolen a book from the Meathead Public Library, from right under the nose of the Hairy Scary Librarian! An act of Burglary and Bravery of the highest order!' 'Not bad, not bad,' whistled Bertha. 'I wouldn't have thought that that great lumbering sack of potatoes had it in him.' She looked cheerfully round the room. 'So, where is it then?' 'What?' asked Stoick, playing for time. 'The book, man, the book! The book that your Gobber-with-the-face-like-a-hippopotamus-thatsomebody-trod-on has fluke-ily snaffled from that loon the Librarian. Where is it?' Stoick's chest deflated a little. 'Ah, yes, well, that's what I can't quite understand. I had the book in this very room only this morning, but now it seems to

“希望你能躲在这里，直到我忘记打赌的事，是吗？” 嗯，我没有。今天结束了，时间到了，我希望你准备好把斧子给我了。 你有什么证据能证明你们这些心地善良、头脑简单、手脚灵巧的流氓比我们这些沼泽盗贼更擅长入室盗窃呢？”斯托伊克的胸膛因愤怒而鼓了起来。 “我们这些流氓是世界上最好的窃贼！”他喊着，在空中挥舞着拳头。 “我的一个勇士，打嗝哥伯，从笨蛋公共图书馆偷了一本书，就在那个毛茸茸的恐怖图书管理员的鼻子底下！”这是最高等级的盗窃和勇敢行为！“不错，不错。”伯莎吹着口哨说。 “我真没想到，他这一大袋笨重的土豆竟会有这种本事。”她愉快地环视了一下房间。 “那么，它在哪儿呢？”“什么?斯托伊克问道，在拖延时间。 “书，伙计，书！”这本书是你那个长着河马脸的高嘴鸟，被人踩到的，侥幸从那个笨蛋图书管理员那里偷来的。 它在哪儿？”斯托伊克的胸脯有点瘪了。 “啊，是的，这就是我不太明白的地方。 我今天早上还把书放在这个房间里，但现在它似乎

have completely disappeared. It's most extraordinary. I'm afraid you're going to have to take my word for it…' Big-Boobied Bertha hadn't heard such a good joke in ages. She laughed so hard the tears ran down her beard and she could barely stand up. 'HA! HA! HA! HA!' roared Big-Boobied Bertha. 'Oh that's a good one! You stole the book and then you seem to have lost it, is that what you're saying?' jeered Bertha. 'Fiddlesticks and tadpole tails! You never HAD this book you're boasting about because you hopeless Hooligans couldn't burgle berries from a baby!' Stoick wondered whether to hit her. 'Never mind, Stoick,' boomed Bertha, giving him a friendly dig in the ribs, 'even if you HAD stolen that silly little book of yours, you wouldn't have won the bet anyway. Come and see what I stole from Madguts the Murderous only yesterday… Follow me…' Muttering rude words under his breath to the great god Thor, Stoick followed Bertha's bossy departing bottom all the way to the Dragon Stables. Bertha stopped outside a particularly large stable door, and began to undo the bolts. 'I hope you don't mind that I borrowed an empty stable of yours to put it in… this will show you what a REAL burglar can do…'

已经完全消失了。 这是最不寻常的。恐怕你得相信我的话……”大胸伯莎好久没听到这么好的笑话了。 她笑得太厉害了，眼泪顺着她的胡子流下来，她几乎站不起来。 “哈!哈!哈!哈!大咪咪伯莎吼道。 “哦，这是个好主意！”你偷了书，然后又好像把它弄丢了，你是这个意思吗？伯莎嘲笑道。 “蚯蚓和蝌蚪尾巴！”你从来没有过你吹嘘的这本书，因为你们这些绝望的流氓连婴儿的浆果都偷不到！”斯托伊克不知道要不要打她。 “没关系，斯托伊克，”伯莎大声说，友好地戳了戳他的肋骨，“即使你偷了你那本愚蠢的小书，你也不会赢的。 来看看我昨天从凶残的疯子那里偷来的东西……跟我来……”斯托伊克对着伟大的雷神托尔低声咕哝着几句粗话，一路跟着伯莎那专横跋扈的离开的尾巴来到了龙马厩。 伯莎在马厩的一扇特别大的门外停了下来，开始解开门闩。 “我希望你不介意我借了你的一个空马厩把它放进去……这会让你见识一下真正的飞贼的能耐……”

Bertha flung open the door dramatically. 'Feast your eyes on that, Stoick the Vast! A real, live, top-of-the-range Stealth Dragon, stolen from under the very nose of that bird-brain, Madguts the Murderous, by my own fair hands!' 'Thumbnails of Thor!' exclaimed Stoick, forgetting his fury, he was so impressed. 'Madguts will be steaming mad!' 'Pooh!' boasted Bertha proudly, if unwisely. 'Us Bog-Burglars aren't scared of THAT idiotic stinkpot!' Stoick peered into the stable. 'But… but… but Bertha, there's nothing there…' Bertha chuckled. 'Yes, well, that's what makes them a Secret Weapon, you see,' she explained kindly. 'The Stealth Dragon is so well camouflaged, it is practically invisible…' 'No, really,' said Stoick, walking from one end of the stable to another, 'there really is NOTHING HERE.' Bertha blundered into the stable, her hands in front of her, trying to feel for a not-only-invisible-butabsolutely-NOT-THERE Stealth Dragon. It took three turns around the stable to convince her that the dragon had vanished. 'Well bother my bunions!' exclaimed Big- Boobied Bertha. 'It's completely disappeared!'

伯莎戏剧性地猛地推开门。 “大斯托伊克，好好欣赏一下吧！”一条真正的，活的，顶级的隐形龙，我亲手从杀人如麻的疯子的鼻子底下偷来的！“雷神的缩略图！”斯托伊克喊道，忘记了他的愤怒，他被深深打动了。 “疯子要疯了！”“呸!伯莎骄傲地夸口说，虽然不太明智。 “我们沼泽窃贼不怕那个白痴臭罐子！”斯托伊克向马厩里看了看。 “可是……可是……可是伯莎，那儿什么也没有……” “是啊，这就是它们成为秘密武器的原因。”她和蔼地解释道。 “不，真的，”斯托伊克说着，从马厩的一头走到另一头，“这里真的什么也没有。”伯莎跌跌撞撞地走进马厩，双手放在身前，试图寻找一条不仅看不见，而且根本不在那里的隐形龙。 她绕着马厩转了三圈才相信龙已经不见了。 “我的拇囊炎真烦人！”大咪咪伯莎叫道。 “它完全消失了！”

Stoick began to laugh. 'It was here this morning! Large as life and as transparent as glass!' protested Bertha. 'Oh, yes,' jeered Stoick, laughing like a drain, 'invisible dragons, my belly-button! That's a good one, Bertha, that's a good one! I'll give you a couple of invisible axes in return for winning the bet!' Big-Boobied Bertha turned purple as a blueberry and clenched her fists. The two of them were so engrossed in their disagreement that they did not notice a tall, thin figure creeping up behind them. 'Both of you hold your hands above your heads and come slowly out of the stable!' barked a hissing croak of a voice.

斯托伊克笑了起来。“今天早上还在这儿的！”像生命一样大，像玻璃一样透明！伯莎抗议道。 “哦，是的，”斯托伊克嘲笑道，笑得像排水沟一样，“看不见的龙，我的肚脐！说得好，伯莎，说得好！我给你两把看不见的斧子，作为你赢了打赌的回报！”大胸伯莎脸色发紫，紧握着拳头。 他们两个全神贯注于他们的分歧，没有注意到一个又高又瘦的身影从他们身后爬了上来。 “你们两个都把手举过头顶，慢慢地走出马厩！”一个嘶嘶的声音叫道。