8 THE TWIST IN THE BARDIGUARD’S TALE

8. THE TWIST IN THE BARDIGUARD'S TALE "No," whispered Hiccup. "It's not true..." "Yes," replied Humungous, sighing, "I'm afraid it is. And the story gets worse." "How can it get worse?" asked Hiccup through white lips. "Your father did manage to steal the Stone. He found it INSIDE the Volcano, which was why the Lava-Louts had never discovered it before, despite digging holes all over the island. But what Al told me was that the Fire-Stone released certain chemicals that kept the Volcano dormant. Without these chemicals, over the last fifteen years, the Volcano has become more and more active, until finally, RIGHT NOW, it is ready to blow." Hiccup sat lost in thought. While they were talking, the blackness at the window had turned to grey and then to turquoise,

and the sun was coming up fast on what would be another roasting day. "This Terrific Al of yours," asked Hiccup, "what is he doing now?" "Well, he's gone a bit bananas, since you mention it," admitted Humungous. "But then the poor chap has had a difficult time of it." Humungous returned to his Tale. "Shortly after Terrific Al returned as a prison guard, and as the rumbles from the Volcano were growing louder and louder, the Exterminators did start to hatch. The Lava-Louts abandoned the island, and left us prisoners to fend for ourselves, and we too made a bolt for it. All except for Terrific Al. He's got this wild idea in his head that he's going to TRAIN these creatures. He's built these gigantic statues all over the island, and he seems to think that when the Exterminators hatch they will think that he is their Leader, and will do everything he says." "And what is he going to do with the Exterminators once he's trained them?" asked Hiccup. "Good Works, he says," replied Humungous, shaking his head in admiration. "He thinks he's going to stop them from killing everything in sight. Oh he's a lovely, lovely guy, that Terrific Al, even if he is as mad as loon. Well, I tried to persuade him to leave

with me but he wouldn't. And that was when he asked me to do the favor that I had promised him all those many years ago." "What was the favor?" asked Hiccup. "To kill YOU," replied Humungously Hotshot. "He said you were this PRINCE OF DARKNESS, a Devil Child, who would grow up to bring untold evil on the Archipelago. He said you had fed him to this Monstrous Strangulator that made all his hair fall out... And thrown him out of a balloon into a sea full of Ravenous Sharkworms..."

"That was all HIS fault!" protested Hiccup, who was beginning to put two and two together. "But as I have gotten to know you, over the last couple of weeks, I have gradually begun to think that he must be mistaken about you," said Humungous. "I tried to kill you, but I kept on saving you at the last minute. At first I thought it must just be my Heroic

Impulses kicking in, but then I realized—I like you, Hiccup." "Thank you," said Hiccup. "And I'm not angry with you about what happened. I'm not even angry with her... well, maybe just a little bit..." admitted Humungous, "and why she had to marry that barbarian, Stoick, I will never know..." "That's my father you're talking about!" warned Hiccup, "and he has many excellent qualities, once you get to know him." "Well, I hate to let good old Al down," said Humungous, "but you seem to me like a Good Egg, and I think that Al has just got off on the wrong foot with you." "What does he LOOK like, this Terrific Al of yours?" asked Hiccup, already sure that he knew the answer. "Fifteen years ago when I first met him he was extremely handsome," replied Humungous. "Tall, dark, took very good care of his moustache even in jail conditions. And he had all of his LIMBS at the time, which does help. Now... he's not so pretty. Bald, put a bit of weight on, a hook instead of a hand, a stump instead of a leg, a patch instead of an eye—" "ALVIN THE TREACHEROUS, AS I LIVE AND BREATHE!" interrupted Hiccup. "You gave

your ruby heart's stone to ALVIN THE TREACHEROUS!!!" Alvin the Treacherous was Hiccup's arch- enemy, and the wickedest, most dangerous man in the Archipelago. Hiccup had assumed he was dead when he fell into the sea with those Sharkworms, but Alvin was a difficult man to kill. This meant that Valhallarama was not the traitor that Humungous thought her. Alvin would NEVER have delivered that ruby heart's stone. He would have pocketed it himself, and then made up all those wicked lies that he told Humungous about her throwing it into the ocean. "Alvin the Who?" asked Humungous blankly. "I don't know what you're talking about." "Alvin the Treacherous is the evilest man in the Archipelago," said Hiccup. "Now, then, that's not fair. Al has got you wrong, Hiccup, but you must admit, who can blame him, what with the Sharkworm incident and everything," said Humungous. "I just know if you guys could get together you would really get along." Hiccup sat thinking, wondering what he should do next. "Now I understand why Old Wrinkly is sitting at the bottom of that hole," said Hiccup. "Who is Old Wrinkly?" asked Humungous.