7 THE TALE OF HUMUNGOUSLY HOTSHOT THE BARDIGUARD

7. THE TALE OF HUMUNGOUSLY HOTSHOT THE BARDIGUARD "A long, long time ago, it seems like a lifetime away now," said Humungously Hotshot, "I was happy. I was a young Hero who fell in Love with a beautiful young woman." "Uh-huh," said Hiccup cautiously. He wasn't very interested in stories about Love. "Oh, but she was beautiful!" sighed the Bardiguard. "Her lovely fat, white, muscly legs! Her thunderous thighs! Her soft little beard! Her excellent sword-arm!" "Yes, yes," said Hiccup hurriedly. "Do get on with it." "She loved me back (or so I thought), but her

7. “很久很久以前，现在看来好像是一辈子的事，”吹牛大王说，“我很幸福。 我是一个年轻的英雄，爱上了一位美丽的年轻女子。” “嗯哼，”小嗝嗝小心翼翼地说。 他对关于爱情的故事不太感兴趣。 “哦，但她是美丽的！” “她那可爱的又肥又白又肌肉发达的腿！”她雷鸣般的大腿！她那柔软的小胡子！她那出色的剑臂！”“是的，是的，”小嗝嗝急忙说。 “那就继续干吧。”“她也爱我（至少我是这么想的），但是她

father had some ridiculous idea that she should marry somebody CLEVER, I have no idea why THAT was important, so he set me an Impossible Task, which, if I completed, the reward would be her hand in marriage. "The Impossible Task he set me," said Humungously Hotshot, "was to steal the Fire-Stone from Lava-Lout Island, and the reason that this is impossible is that the Lava-Louts have been looking for the Fire-Stone for many many years. "Before I set off on the Impossible Task, my Love and I met in secret. My little double-chinned Sweetheart had a singularly beautiful ruby, shaped like a heart, that she always wore around her neck. She had cut this ruby in half, and she gave one half to me, and kept the other. "'Go on this Quest if you must,' whispered my Darling. 'But I have an awfully bad feeling about this, and if by any chance you happen to be captured by those pigs-in-pajamas, the Lava-Louts, just send this ruby to me in the mouth of Xellence, your hunting dragon, and I will come to rescue you.' "My Love, you see, was not half bad at Questing herself. "I promised her, and rode off on my white dragon to carry out the Impossible Task, but by terrible bad Fortune I got caught by the Lava-Louts,

父亲有个可笑的想法，要她嫁给一个聪明的人。我不知道这有什么重要，所以他给我布置了一个不可能完成的任务，如果我完成了，就可以把她嫁给我。 “他给我布置的不可能完成的任务，”巨火枪说，“就是从熔岩岛偷走火石，之所以不可能完成，是因为熔岩岛寻找火石已经找了很多年了。 “在我开始这项不可能完成的任务之前，我和我的爱人秘密见面了。 我的双下巴小甜心有一颗特别漂亮的红宝石，形状像一颗心，她总是把它戴在脖子上。 她把这块红宝石切成两半，一半给了我，另一半自己留着。 “‘如果你一定要去，那就去吧，’我亲爱的低声说。 “不过我有一种非常不好的预感，万一你被那些穿睡衣的猪——熔岩怪抓住了，只要把这颗红宝石放在你的猎龙塞伦斯的嘴里给我，我就会来救你。“‘我的爱人，你看，她自己在寻找问题上一点也不差。 “我答应了她，骑着我的白龙去完成这个不可能完成的任务，但不幸的是，我被熔岩人抓住了，

just as my Love had feared, and my white dragon and I were thrown into chains, and into a jail on Lava- Lout Island. "Even worse luck, my faithful hunting dragon, Xellence, was killed during the Quest, and so I could not send the half-a-heart ruby to tell her I needed rescuing. "For a couple of months I worked in those Lava Jail Mines, utterly in despair. And then I made friends with this prison guard. His name was Terrific Al. He was such a nice guy, Hiccup. So smiley and sympathetic. I told him my story, and I asked him to take the ruby heart to my ladylove and explain that I needed her to come and spring me from jail as quick as her dear, fat little legs could carry her." Humungously Hotshot's voice deepened and saddened. His face looked green and ill in the moonlight. "Terrific Al said that he would do this for me, if I promised to do him a favor at some point in the future. He took the ruby heart and I waited in hope, Hiccup, in the heat of the mines, peering out of my barred window in the nighttime, yearning for her to come. Days turned to Months. Months turned to Years. Hope turned to Despair. She never came. Fifteen years I waited, Hiccup. Fifteen years. And then, a couple of months ago, imagine my surprise

正如我的爱人所担心的那样，我和我的白龙被扔进了熔岩岛的监狱。 “更糟糕的是，我忠实的猎龙，塞伦斯，在任务中被杀了，所以我不能送半颗心的红宝石去告诉她我需要救援。 “我在熔岩监狱矿场工作了几个月，完全绝望了。 然后我和一个狱警交了朋友。 他叫了不起的艾尔，是个好人，小嗝嗝。 如此微笑和富有同情心。 我把我的故事告诉了他，请他把那颗红宝石的心带给我的夫人，并向她解释说，我需要她来把我从监狱里救出来，尽快让她那可爱的肥腿把她抬走。” 巨能手的声音低沉而悲伤。 他的脸在月光下显得又青又病。 “了不起的人工智能说，如果我答应在将来的某个时候帮他一个忙，他就会为我做这件事。 他拿走了那颗红宝石的心，我满怀希望地等待着，嗝嗝，在矿井的炎热中，在夜晚凝视着我的铁栏窗外，渴望着她的到来。 几天变成了几个月。几个月变成了几年。 希望变成了绝望。她没有来。 我等了十五年，小嗝嗝。 十五年。然后，几个月前，想象一下我的惊讶

when Terrific Al turned up on Lava-Lout Island as a prison guard again. One night he sought me out, and he told me what had happened to my ruby heart." Humungous's voice was so quiet now that Hiccup could hardly hear it. "Terrific Al told me that he had taken the ruby to my Love, and told her that I was captured and needed rescuing. And to his surprise, my dearest

当了不起的艾尔再次以监狱看守的身份出现在Lava-Lout岛时 一天晚上，他找到我，告诉我我那颗红宝石般的心发生了什么事。” humhumous的声音现在很安静，Hiccup几乎听不见了。 “了不起的阿尔告诉我，他把红宝石带给了我的爱人，并告诉她我被俘虏了，需要营救。 令他吃惊的是，我最亲爱的

Darling, who had sworn the solemnest oath of True Love For Ever, took that ruby heart and THREW IT OUT OF THE WINDOW AND INTO THE SEA. And as she did this, she said these heartless words: "'There,' she said. 'I already threw out the other half when I heard Humungously Hotshot had FAILED in his Impossible Task. I have found another Lover, who has already brought me the Fire-Stone, and I am going to marry HIM.'" "No!" cried Hiccup. "How terrible of her!" Humungous nodded sadly. "Yes, I have never forgotten the words which Terrific Al repeated that day. They will remain with me as long as I live. And from that moment on, Hiccup, I vowed that I was through with Love." "I don't blame you!" said Hiccup. And then a truly awful thought struck Hiccup, a thought that had Hiccup's heart sinking within his chest like half a ruby heart's stone sinking to the bottom of a seabed. Suddenly he had a horrible feeling that he knew a way that this story might be going, a dreadful, snaking, corner coming up, a Twist in the Bardiguard's Tale. "Um," asked Hiccup nervously, really, really not sure that he wanted to know the answer to this question, "what was the NAME of your ladylove,

达林曾经庄严地发过誓，要永远爱他。她把那颗红宝石的心扔出窗外，扔进了海里。 当她这样做的时候，她说了这些无情的话：“‘好了，’她说。 “听说‘超级能手’不可能完成的任务失败了，我就把另一半扔了。 我已经找到了另一个爱人，他已经给我带来了火石，我要嫁给他。“不！”嗝嗝叫道。 “她真可怕！”Humungous悲伤地点了点头。 “是的，我从来没有忘记可怕的阿尔那天说过的话。 只要我活着，它们就会留在我身边。 从那一刻起，小嗝嗝，我发誓我和爱结束了。” “我不怪你！”嗝嗝说。 这时，一个真正可怕的念头击中了嗝嗝，这个念头使嗝嗝的心在胸膛里沉了下去，就像半颗红宝石的心沉到了海底一样。 突然间，他有一种可怕的感觉，他知道这个故事的发展方向，一个可怕的、蜿蜒曲折的角落出现了，一个《巴迪瓜的故事》的转折。 “嗯，”小嗝嗝紧张地问，他真的，真的不确定自己是否想知道这个问题的答案，“你的情人叫什么名字？

exactly?" "My Ex-Ladylove," corrected Humungous. "The name of my Treacherous Ladylove was... Valhallarama." Valhallarama was Hiccup's mother.

到底是什么?”“我的前女友，”Humungous纠正道。 “我的奸诈情人的名字是…… Valhallarama。”瓦尔哈拉拉马是小嗝嗝的母亲。