11 In the Soup

11. IN THE SOUP Camicazi watched with round, scared eyes as Hiccup fell past her, arms flailing wildly. In ordinary circumstances, that would have been the end of Hiccup, for the Great Hall was fully twenty metres high, and he SHOULD have broken his neck falling all the way from the very top. But, in a series of tremendous strokes of luck, the traditional Freya'sday Eve dish was Onion Soup, and on Hysteria it was served in a truly gigantic cauldron, two metres wide and a metre deep. This pot was sitting on the table directly below the falling Hiccup, and he plunged straight into it, bottom first. If the soup had been any hotter, Hiccup would have been burned to death, but it had been on the table for some time, and had cooled to a pleasant swimming temperature. If the Hysterics had been any fonder of Onion Soup, it would not have been deep enough to break Hiccup's fall, but the Hysterics only served Onion Soup because it was the traditional thing to do, and had hardly touched it. So Hiccup merely bumped his bottom gently on the bottom of the cauldron, and rose to the surface,

11. 卡米卡齐用惊恐的圆眼睛看着小嗝嗝从她身边走过，双臂疯狂地挥舞着。 在一般情况下，小嗝嗝早就完蛋了，因为大礼堂足足有二十米高，他从最顶上摔下去的话，早就摔断脖子了。 但是，在一系列巨大的运气中，星期五前夜的传统菜肴是洋葱汤，在歇斯底里节上，洋葱汤是在一个真正巨大的大锅里上的，宽两米，深一米。 这个罐子就放在桌子上，正对着倒下的嗝嗝，他一头扎进去，头朝下。 如果汤再热一点，小嗝嗝就会被烧死了，但汤在桌子上放了一段时间，已经冷却到适宜游泳的温度了。 如果歇斯底里的人喜欢洋葱汤的话，就不会有那么深的水来阻止小嗝嗝摔倒，但是歇斯底里的人只上洋葱汤，因为这是他们的传统做法，他们几乎没有碰过洋葱汤。 于是小嗝嗝只是轻轻地把屁股撞在坩埚的底部，然后浮到水面上，

coughing and spluttering, his hair full of onions. There was a shocked silence. Nothing puts a quicker stop to a jolly meal than a stranger and a great deal of snow suddenly falling on to the banqueting table. The Hysterics sat, amazed, spitting snow out of their beards, staring at the unexpected visitor gasping in their soup. Norbert the Nutjob was the first to recover, shaking the snow off and leaping to his feet. 'ASSASSINS!' he screamed. 'SEIZE HIM!' Twenty Warriors sprang on to the table. Hiccup tried to swim out of trouble, but his back-stroke couldn't make up for the fact that he was entirely surrounded. Two large Hysterics dragged him out of the soup, and dropped him, dripping and gloopy, in front of Norbert the Nutjob. 'Are there more of you?' barked Norbert the Nutjob, brandishing the blackened blade of his axe in front of Hiccup's face.

他咳嗽、吐痰，头发上满是洋葱。 一阵震惊的沉默。 没有什么比一个陌生人和一大堆雪突然落在宴会桌上更能让一顿愉快的晚餐戛然而止了。 歇斯底里的人惊讶地坐着，把胡子上的雪吐出来，盯着这个在汤里喘着气的不速之客。 疯子诺伯是第一个醒过来的，他抖掉身上的雪，跳了起来。 “刺客!他尖叫道。“抓住他!”20个勇士跳上了桌子。 小嗝嗝试图游出困境，但他的仰泳无法弥补他被完全包围的事实。 两个歇斯底里的大个子把他从汤里拖了出来，把湿淋淋、糊里糊涂的他扔到疯子诺伯面前。 “你们还有其他人吗？”疯婆子诺伯吼道，在小嗝嗝面前挥舞着他那把焦黑的斧头。

Hiccup shook his head, spraying soup in all directions. Norbert the Nutjob and his Warriors peered upwards. Camicazi was hanging way up in the darkness of the ceiling, and her black clothes came in handy, for they could not see her. 'SEARCH THE ROOF AND THE VILLAGE!' screamed Norbert the Nutjob. He turned to face Hiccup again. Norbert the Nutjob had a tic in his left eye, and it was jerking around frantically like a fly doing a jig. 'I'm sure I recognise you…' he said, using the edge of a nearby Warrior's cloak to wipe the soup off Hiccup's face. 'Great Thumbnails of Thor! It's the revolting Hooligan worm who shot an arrow in my Royal Bottom yesterday!' This wasn't a very good start. 'How do you do?' gulped Hiccup politely. 'I DO NOT VERY WELL!' screamed Norbert the Nutjob. 'MY BUTTOCKS ARE BURNING!' The Warriors came panting back into the Hall, and said they had searched both the roof and the village, and there were no more Assassins to be found. One Eye and Toothless must have flapped off to hide in the darkness.

小嗝嗝摇了摇头，把汤喷得到处都是。 疯子诺伯和他的勇士们向上凝视着。 卡米卡齐被吊在黑暗的天花板上，她的黑衣服派上了用场，因为他们看不见她。 “搜遍屋顶和村子！”疯子诺伯尖叫道。 他又转过身来面对小嗝嗝。 疯子诺伯的左眼抽动了一下，就像一只跳吉格舞的苍蝇一样疯狂地乱跳。 “我肯定认得你……”他说着，用旁边一件战士斗篷的边缘擦去小嗝嗝脸上的汤。 “伟大的托尔缩略图！”就是那个可恶的流氓虫昨天在我的皇家屁股上射了一箭！”这不是一个好的开始。 “你好！”嗝嗝礼貌地吞吞吐吐地说。 “我不太舒服！”疯子诺伯尖叫道。 “我的屁股在烧！”勇士们气喘吁吁地跑回大厅，说他们搜遍了屋顶和村子，没有发现更多的刺客。 独眼和无牙一定是飞走了，躲在黑暗中。

Norbert the Nutjob looked rather cross. 'You're a very SMALL Assassin,' he said huffily, removing Hiccup's sword and stuffing it in his own sword-belt. 'And so, come to think of it, was the one who attacked us with you yesterday, the one who skied like a grandmother with knee trouble. I know I've been out of the loop for the last fifteen years, but do the Hooligans really think they can assassinate me with CHILDREN?' 'I'm not an Assassin,' pleaded Hiccup quaveringly. 'LIAR!' screeched Norbert the Nutjob, and he lurched forward as if to kill Hiccup with the axe right there and then. And then he calmed himself, and smiled again, and settled himself back on his throne with a wince. 'So if you're not an Assassin,' smiled Norbert, 'what are you doing here on Hysteria, shooting me with arrows, and poisoning my soup?' 'I'm looking,' said Hiccup, 'for THE POTATO.' There was an astonished silence. 'Ssssssh!' said Norbert the Nutjob, looking over his shoulder as if walls had ears. 'You're not supposed to NAME the Vegetable-that-No-one-Dares-Name…' 'Of course,' said Hiccup craftily, 'now that I'm here I realise that it was all just fairy stories. There's no such thing as a potato, is there? Because there's no such

疯子诺伯看起来很生气。 “你是一个很小的刺客。”他气呼呼地说，取下嗝嗝的剑，塞进自己的剑带。 “我想起来了，昨天那个带着你来攻击我们的人，那个滑雪滑得像个膝盖有毛病的老奶奶的人，也是这样。 我知道在过去的15年里我一直处于局外人的地位，但是那些流氓真的认为他们可以用孩子来暗杀我吗？“我不是刺客，”小嗝嗝颤抖着恳求道。 “骗子!”疯伯诺伯尖声叫道，他蹒跚地向前扑去，好像要当场用斧头砍死小嗝嗝。 然后他平静了下来，又笑了笑，皱了皱眉头，坐回了宝座。 “那么，如果你不是刺客，”诺伯微笑着说，“你在歇斯底里岛做什么，用箭射我，还在我的汤里下毒？“我在找，”小嗝嗝说，“找土豆。”一阵令人吃惊的沉默。 “Ssssssh !疯伯诺伯说，一边扭头看，好像墙有耳朵似的。 “当然了，”小嗝嗝狡黠地说，“现在我在这儿才明白，那都是些童话故事。 根本就没有土豆这种东西，对吧？ 因为没有这样的

place as America… the earth is as flat as a pancake, and if you sail to the west eventually you just fall off the end of it…' 'RUBBISH!' shrieked Norbert the Nutjob. 'KILL HIM!' he screamed, his eyes bulging, his mouth foaming, before, with an enormous effort, he gained control of himself again. 'No, educate him, then kill him!' said Norbert the Nutjob, twiddling his fancy moustaches to soothe himself. 'The earth is as round as a circle, and a circle has no end,' explained Norbert carefully. 'There is such a thing as America, I know because I've been there… and as for the Vegetable-that-No-one-Dares-Name… I don't know what you're talking about…' 'That's because there's no such thing,' repeated Hiccup. 'There IS such a thing,' insisted Norbert, trying to keep his temper. 'Isn't,' said Hiccup. 'Is!' 'Isn't.' 'IS!' 'Isn't.' 'IS, IS, IS, IS, IS!!!!!' yelled Norbert the Nutjob, twiddling his fancy moustaches so hard they got

像美国这样的地方……地球像煎饼一样平，如果你向西航行，最终你会从它的一端掉下去……”疯婆子诺伯尖叫道。 “杀了他!他尖叫着，眼睛瞪得大大的，嘴里吐着白沫。他费了很大的劲才控制住了自己。 “不，教育他，然后杀了他！”疯婆子诺伯说，一边捻着他那花哨的小胡子安慰自己。 “地球就像一个圆，而圆是没有尽头的。”诺伯小心翼翼地解释道。 “世界上有个叫美国的地方，我知道，因为我到过那里……至于那个谁也说不出名字的蔬菜……我不知道你在说什么……” “有这么一件事。”诺伯坚持说，努力控制自己的脾气。 “不是吗，”嗝嗝说。“是!“不是。“啊!“不是。‘ ’是，是，是，是，是，是！！！！！疯婆子诺伯喊道，使劲地捻着他那别致的小胡子