7 Nanodragon

7. THE NANODRAGON Hiccup woke very early. He had just been having a lovely dream about playing a tickling game with Toothless and he woke up laughing. For a moment everything was all right again and he forgot Toothless had gone and reached out for him, only to feel the chilly, damp depression in the bed where Toothless should have been. He was instantly miserable again, and lay, teeth chattering, under the bedclothes trying to get up the willpower to brave the cold and get dressed in the still-slightly-damp-and-salty clothes he was wearing yesterday. He gradually became aware that what had woken him was a very faint and tiny singing noise, a reedy little sound like the wind caught in a cowrie shell, but with an edge of menace to it.

The song went something like this: O Human Fatness who tried to eat me Great Wobbling Vomit of Repulsive Man-Flesh I cannot kill you NOW Though I would like to But you will regret this, Blubber-Man You will regret this in the quiet darkness of the night-time For I have friends I have friends who will itch you into nightmares Their feet will plough your skin into rashes And you will sleep no more, o Stomach-with-a-Head-on-it You will sleep no more O Balloon of Lard who tried to eat me Man Uglier than an Exploded Jellyfish I cannot kill you NOW Though I would like to But I can wait, Flesh-Dangler I can wait, ticking in the corner like Fate And I have friends I have friends who will crawl with me into your coffin Where you are lying, hoping for the quiet sleep of Death And we will eat YOU, o Sad Lump of Man Meat We will eat you

Where was the song coming from? Eventually, Hiccup realised the noise seemed to be sneaking out of the jacket he had worn the day before and left to dry on the back of a chair in front of the fire. And then he remembered the nanodragon he had replaced with the Electricsquirm and put in his pocket. Hiccup braced himself against the cold, jumped out of bed, dragged his clothes on, and approached the jacket. Carefully, he put his hand into the pocket and drew it out again with a gasp. Not only was there a yucky warm mess of honey in there, but the nanodragon had bitten him on the end of his finger. As Hiccup put the finger in his mouth (you should always do this with a nanodragon bite – it helps to draw out the sting) the nanodragon flew out of the pocket, fluttered around the room, and landed on the window-sill. The nanodragon had spent the night cleaning the sticky honey off his body with his tongue. He was

a handsome little beast. No bigger than a grasshopper, he was a gleaming rust-red with flecks of charcoal, and the morning sun shone through his gossamer-thin wings and threw red and black spots all round the room. Something about the self-importance of the little animal, the arrogance with which he held himself, made Hiccup ask, 'Who are you?' 'I,' squeaked the tiny creature grandly, 'am the Centre of the Universe.' Hiccup looked carefully at the very small animal in front of him. 'You ARE?' he said, polite but amazed. 'You mean you are Thor or Woden in disguise?' 'Thor and Woden!' snorted the creature derisively. 'Fairy stories! No, I am Ziggerastica the Living God.' Hiccup looked blank. 'Most High and Mighty Ruler of the Nano Empire. Despot of the Northern Grasses…' Hiccup shook his head regretfully.

'You MUST know about me!' piped Ziggerastica. 'Great Scourge of the Bracken Dwellers… Doesn't that ring any bells at all?' 'Nope,' said Hiccup. 'I'm so sorry. I've never heard of you before.' 'I don't know, you Humans,' fumed Ziggerastica, hugely offended. 'Ignorant as well as ugly.' 'I'm not ugly,' protested Hiccup. 'That is a very rude thing to say.' Ziggerastica wasn't listening. 'You're so caught up in your own world that you never bother to lower your fat noses to the ground and have a look at what's going on in the Real World! Well, Boy-With-a-Facelike-a-Stinky-Haddock, you have had the good fortune to save the life of the most Powerful Being in the Galaxy…' 'If you're the most Powerful Being in the Galaxy,' said Hiccup, 'how come you didn't get your nanodragons to come and save you from the big Fat Roman?' 'Even a Living God has his weak spots,' replied

Ziggerastica. 'And mine happens to be honey. I love the stuff. But the nanodragon cry for help is created by rubbing the back legs together, and honey gums up the noise… It is delicious, though… However, the point is, that since you have saved my life, I am honourbound to save yours in return, however huge and stinking and Wingless you are…' 'Thank you,' murmured Hiccup. '…with an ugly nose,' added the creature, 'and those brown marks that look like spots—' 'Those are freckles!' said Hiccup indignantly. 'They are not nice,' said Ziggerastica. 'They displease my eye. But the Living God does not forget a debt. In mortal danger you just have to say the word Ziggerastica and I shall come to your aid…' And what on earth could someone as small as YOU do? Hiccup thought to himself, but it would have been rude to say it. 'How will you hear me?' he asked instead. The nanodragon ignored the question. 'Just say the word Ziggerastica and I will come. However, be warned… You can call on my Most Glorious Aid just once, and once alone. When I have repaid my debt you will become just another smelly,