9 The Advanced Rudery lesson

9. THE ADVANCED RUDERY LESSON IS INTERRUPTED This jumpy time of waiting and preparing finally came to an end about two weeks later. It was halfway through one of Gobber's Advanced Rudery lessons in the Great Hall. Snotlout was in front of the rest of the class, having a Rudery Battle against Tuffnut Junior. Tuffnut Junior was struggling. He was naturally a good-natured boy, and insults were not his strong point. 'You,' said Tuffnut Junior, trying to sound sneery, 'are a big fat… and I mean really, really fat… BULLY… and your granny is a… your granny is a… your granny is a… very naughty person…' 'Oh, for Thor's sake, Tuffnut Junior!' exploded Gobber furiously, tearing his beard out. 'This is a simple exercise, can't you do better than THAT? Snotlout's granny is a yellow-bellied decrepit old oyster, Snotlout's granny is a barking mad old walrus-head…' 'Wossat????' howled Snotlout, so psyched up for the lesson that he didn't care who he attacked.

9. 高级粗鲁课中断了这段紧张的等待和准备时间终于在大约两周后结束了。 那是在大礼堂里戈伯的高级礼仪课上了一半。 鼻涕鼻子站在全班同学的前面，和小塔夫纳特进行了一场恶斗。 小塔夫纳特在挣扎。 他天生是个好脾气的孩子，侮辱人不是他的强项。 “你，”小塔夫纳特试着用讥讽的口气说，“是个大胖子……我是说真的、真的很胖……恶霸……你奶奶是个……你奶奶是个……你奶奶是个……非常淘气的人……”“哦，看在上帝的份上，小塔夫纳特！”戈伯愤怒地吼道，扯掉了胡子。 “这是一个简单的练习，你就不能做得更好吗？” 鼻涕虫的奶奶是一只黄肚皮的老牡蛎，鼻涕虫的奶奶是一只狂吠的老海象头……”“哇塞？？？？鼻涕精吼道，他对上课太兴奋了，根本不在乎自己攻击了谁。

'No, no, Snotlout,' soothed Gobber, 'not really, I'm just telling Tuffnut… you're supposed to think of something EXTRA VILE and then spit the words out… you show him Snotlout.' 'With pleasure,' leered Snotlout. He leaned forward until his nose was just inches away from Tuffnut's. He grabbed Tuffnut around the neck for extra emphasis. His mean little eyes narrowed with menace, his nostrils quivered with temper. 'You,' he spat out with savage contempt, 'are a cowardly cowering cuttlefish…' 'BRILLIANT, Snotlout, BRILLIANT,' cheered Gobber.'… with the heart of a jellyfish, the brains of

“不，不，鼻鼻子，”戈伯安慰道，“不是真的，我只是在告诉塔夫纳特……你应该想一些特别恶毒的东西，然后吐出来……你给他看鼻鼻子。”“很乐意。” 他身体前倾，鼻子离塔夫纳特的鼻子只有几英寸远。 他抓住塔夫纳特的脖子以示强调。 他那双卑鄙的小眼睛眯缝着，流露出威胁的神情，他的鼻孔因愤怒而颤动。 “你，”他恶狠狠地轻蔑地吐了出来，“是一条懦弱畏缩的墨鱼……”“太棒了，鼻涕鬼，太棒了。”戈伯欢呼道。水母的心脏，水母的大脑

a plankton, and the stink of a barrelful of mackerel-heads.' 'Oh BRAVO,' boomed Gobber, 'you go straight to the top of the class. At this rate, Snotlout, you will have no problems whatsoever becoming a pirate, which is more than I can say for the rest of you…' ETC, ETC, ETC… Hiccup raised his eyes to the heavens. He went on absent-mindedly drawing pictures in his Insults Book. He was unexpectedly interrupted by the arrival of Stoick the Vast, and behind him, smiling charmingly, Alvin the Poor-But-Honest-Farmer. 'I apologise for disturbing your lesson, Gobber,' beamed Stoick. 'Not at all, not at all,' said Gobber. 'But I bring GOOD NEWS. We are about to set out on our glorious QUEST TO THE ISLE OF THE SKULLIONS!!' There was a short silence, in which Fishlegs turned white as a sheet and made faint moaning noises. And then everybody else started cheering. Hiccup put up his hand.

浮游生物，还有一桶鲭鱼头的臭味。“哦，太棒了，”戈伯大声说，“你直接成为班里的尖子生了。” 这样的话，鼻涕虫，你成为海盗就不成问题了，这比我对你们其他人说的要容易得多……”等等，等等，等等……嗝嗝抬起眼睛望着天空。 他继续心不在焉地在他的《侮辱书》里画画。 巨人斯托伊克的到来出乎意料地打断了他的话，在他身后是贫穷但诚实的农民阿尔文，他面带迷人的微笑。 “打扰你上课了，我很抱歉，戈伯。”斯托伊克微笑着说。 “一点也不，一点也不。”戈伯说。 “但我带来了好消息。我们即将踏上光荣的旅程，前往骷髅岛！！”一阵短暂的沉默，鱼腿脸变得像床单一样白，发出微弱的呻吟声。 然后其他人开始欢呼。 嗝嗝举起手来。

'What about the Skullions?' he asked. 'I'm glad you asked that,' replied Stoick the Vast enthusiastically. 'As we all know,' he patted Hiccup affectionately on the head, 'Skullions are terrifyingly vicious creatures…' 'Savage beyond your wildest dreams,' murmured Hiccup. 'BUT,' beamed Stoick, 'they have not only lost their ability to fly, but also their sense of SIGHT. Indeed, they are guided to their prey almost entirely by smell alone. So it is Alvin's theory that if we BATH thoroughly before we go– unusual, I know, but you have to suffer to be rich– we should be all right.' Fishlegs put up his hand. 'Theory? Should be? What you're saying is that Alvin doesn't actually KNOW, and we could find ourselves flat on our backs being chewed to death very slowly by a bunch of ravenous reptiles.' Stoick nodded. 'In which case you shall enter Vallhalla a Hero of the Tribe! And may I say here,' said Stoick solemnly, 'that anyone who dies in the course of his duty shall be awarded a posthumous Black Helmet.' 'Oh yippee,' murmured Hiccup.

“骷髅怎么办？”他问。 “我很高兴你问了这个问题，”巨人斯托伊克热情地回答。 “我们都知道，”他亲切地拍了拍小嗝嗝的头，“Skullions是一种非常恶毒的动物……” “但是，”斯托伊克笑着说，“它们不仅失去了飞行的能力，而且失去了视力。 事实上，它们几乎完全靠嗅觉来找到猎物。 所以，按照阿尔文的理论，如果我们在出发前彻底洗个澡——我知道这很不寻常，但要有钱就得忍受痛苦——我们就会没事的。”鱼腿举起手来。 的理论?应该吗?你说的是，阿尔文实际上并不知道，我们可能会发现自己躺在地上，被一群贪婪的爬行动物慢慢咬死。”Stoick点点头。 “那样的话，你将以部落英雄的身份进入瓦哈拉！”“请允许我在这里说，”斯托伊克严肃地说，“任何因公殉职的人都将被追授一顶黑头盔。“哦，呸，”小嗝嗝喃喃地说。

'DEATH OR GLORY!' yelled Stoick the Vast, performing the complicated Hooligan salute, which consists of making a slitting motion across your own throat while letting out a fart like a clap of thunder. 'DEATH OR GLORY!' shouted Gobber the Belch, and eleven of the trainees shouted fanatically, 'DEATH OR GLORY!' and made the salute back at him. 'OH, not this AGAIN,' groaned Hiccup and Fishlegs to themselves. Stoick and Alvin's plan really was that simple. The Hooligans and dragons had to bath themselves thoroughly. They had to present themselves the next day at the Great Hall, where Alvin would make sure they passed what Alvin called 'the Sniff Test'. This consisted of Alvin, who was good at this sort of thing, seeing if he could smell them or not, and the expedition would set off. Hiccup nerved himself up to talk to his father, never an easy task. 'Father,' said Hiccup to Stoick, after he had bathed himself and Toothless very thoroughly indeed. 'Hmmmm?' replied Stoick absent-mindedly. He was attempting to dry off his own dragon,

“是死是荣！”巨人斯托伊克喊道，表演了一种复杂的流氓敬礼，包括在自己的喉咙上做一个划破的动作，同时像打雷一样放一个屁。 “是死是荣！”打嗝的戈伯喊道，十一位学员狂热地喊道：“死亡还是荣耀！”然后也向他行了个礼。 “哦，别再这样了，”嗝嗝和鱼腿自言自语道。 斯托伊克和阿尔文的计划就这么简单。 流氓和恶龙们不得不把自己彻底洗了个澡。 第二天，他们必须到礼堂去，阿尔文要确保他们通过阿尔文所说的“嗅觉测试”。 这是由阿尔文组成的，他很擅长这种事情，看看他是否能闻到它们，然后远征就出发了。 小嗝嗝鼓起勇气和父亲说话，这可不是件容易的事。 “爸爸，”小嗝嗝把自己和无牙彻底地洗了个澡后，对斯托伊克说。 “恩?斯托伊克心不在焉地回答。 他想擦干自己的龙，