14 The fiendishly-clever plan

14. THE FIENDISHLY CLEVER PLAN The dragons protested a bit, but the boys yelled them into line. All except for Toothless, who absolutely refused to join in. 'Y-y-you must be j-j-joking,' sneered the little dragon. 'I refuse to go anywhere N-N-NEAR a S-S-Seadragonus Giganticus M-M-Maximus. Those things are d-d-dangerous. I shall stay here and watch you all.' Hiccup coaxed and bribed and threatened in vain. 'You see?' said Snotlout. 'The Useless can't even get his own dragon to carry out his pathetic plan. And THIS is the person you are banking on to get you out of this mess?' 'Ugh,' said Dogsbreath the Duhbrain. 'Oh, SHUDDUP, Snotlout,' chorused the rest of the boys. Hiccup sighed and gave up. 'OK then,

Toothless, you just stay here and miss all the fun. Now, I want everybody to go down to the Gull's Nesting Place and collect as many birds' feathers as you can for the feather bombs—' 'Birds' feathers!' scoffed Snotlout. 'This wimp thinks you can fight an animal like THAT with birds' feathers! Cold steel is the only language a creature like that will understand.' 'Dragons have a tendency to asthma,' explained Hiccup. 'It's all that fire-breathing they do. The smoke gets in their lungs.' 'So you think this monster is going to die from asthma right then and there because of a few FEATHER BOMBS? Why not just feed him fried herring and see whether he drops dead of a heart attack in twenty years or so?' jeered Snotlout. 'No,' said Hiccup patiently, 'the feather bombs are just to make him very confused so he won't kill anybody on the way. Snotlout, Thuggory, I'm going to need to coach Fireworm and Killer in what they have to say,' continued Hiccup. 'I'm not putting my dragon at risk in this crazy plan,' said Snotlout. 'OH YES, YOU ARE,' hissed Thuggory,

through gritted teeth, brandishing a massive fist at Snotlout. 'This guy is such a PAIN, Hiccup, I don't know how you put up with him. Listen, Snotfeatures, by some miracle you have got yourself a reasonable dragon. You GET that dragon to do what Hiccup wants or it will give me much pleasure to PERSONALLY boot you all the way to Porpoise Point and back again.' 'OK, then,' said Snotlout crossly. 'But don't blame me when we all get barbecued because of the Useless's mad idea.' Hiccup supervised the making of the feather bombs. The boys gathered great armfuls of feathers from the Gull's Nesting Place. They then burgled every item of material they could find: Goggletoad's nappies, Gobber's pyjamas, Mogadon the Meathead's tent, Vallhallarama's bra– anything they could get their hands on. The grown-ups were too busy consulting amongst themselves to take any notice. Snotlout cheered up a bit because he could show off his superior skill at Burglary. He managed to steal

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Baggybum's knickers right off him as he was standing in a Huddle discussing a Plan of Action. Baggybum didn't notice, not even when he reached a hairy hand down to absentmindedly scratch his great bottom– he was too busy talking about Bigger and Better Methods of Yelling. The boys then wrapped the feathers up in the material, so that they would fly out when the bomb was dropped. Each team of ten boys was armed with about a hundred of these feather bombs, wrapped in a great parcel made out of an old sail. Hiccup led the Hooligans towards The Long Beach, while Thuggory took the Meatheads to Unlandable Cove. The thin column of boys were excitedly chattering as they set off behind Hiccup; Wartihog and Clueless dragging the sail at the rear, the dragons circling and diving a couple of feet above their heads. Vikings are practically fearless, having been bred to be soldiers, so even Hiccup and Fishlegs had a surge of excitement at the thought of the battle to come. But as soon as the monster came into sight again, the boys and the dragons instantly dropped

to their tummies and squirmed forward, hearts beating hard. It was impossible that ANYTHING could be THAT big. Hiccup led them as near as he dared to the edge of the cliffs surrounding The Long Beach. They looked down on the terrible creature snoring in front of them. His nostrils alone were as big as six front doors, and the stench reeking out of them made it difficult for the boys to breathe. Wartihog, who had always had a delicate stomach, threw up disgustingly in the heather. Hiccup, Fishlegs and Clueless unwrapped the feather bombs and gave one to each boy. The boys called the dragons, as softly as they could, and each put a feather bomb in their dragon's mouth. They then stood up on the edge of the cliff with their dragons on their outstretched arms.