Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 Dan Cahill thought he had the most annoying big sister on the planet. And that was before she set fire to two million dollars. It all started when they went to their grandmother's funeral. Secretly, Dan was excited, because he was hoping to make a rubbing of the tombstone after everyone else was gone. He figured Grace wouldn't care. She'd been a cool grandmother. Dan loved collecting things. He collected baseball cards, autographs of famous outlaws, Civil War weapons, rare coins, and every cast he'd ever had since kindergarten (all twelve of them). At the moment, what he liked collecting best were charcoal rubbings of tombstones. He had some awesome ones back at the apartment. His

丹·卡希尔认为他有一个世界上最讨厌的姐姐。 那是在她烧掉两百万美元之前。 一切都是从他们去参加祖母的葬礼开始的。 丹私下里很兴奋，因为他希望在其他人都走了之后，能在墓碑上擦一擦。 他认为格蕾丝不会在意。 她是个很酷的祖母。 丹喜欢收集东西。 他收集棒球卡、著名不法之徒的签名、内战时期的武器、稀有的硬币，以及他从幼儿园开始的所有铸件（总共12件）。 目前，他最喜欢收集的是墓碑的木炭拓片。 他公寓里有一些很棒的。 他的

favorite read: PRUELLA GOODE 1891-1929 I'M DEAD. LET'S HAVE A PARTY. He figured if he had a rubbing of Grace's tombstone in his collection, maybe it wouldn't feel quite so much like she was gone forever. Anyway, the whole way from Boston to the funeral in Bristol County, his great-aunt Beatrice was driving like a very slow lunatic. She went twenty-five miles an hour on the highway and kept drifting across lanes so the other cars honked and swerved and ran into guardrails and stuff. Aunt Beatrice just kept clutching the wheel with her jeweled fingers. Her wrinkly face was made up with Day-Glo red lipstick and rouge, which made her blue hair look even bluer. Dan wondered if she gave the other drivers nightmares about old clowns. "Amy!" she snapped, as another SUV careened down the exit ramp because Beatrice had just pulled in front of it. "Stop reading in the car! It's

最喜欢的读物：普鲁埃拉·古德，1891-1929，我死了。 我们开个派对吧。他想，如果他收藏了格蕾丝的墓碑，也许就不会觉得她永远离开了。 总之，从波士顿到布里斯托尔县参加葬礼的一路上，他的姑母比阿特丽斯像个开得很慢的疯子一样开车。 她在高速公路上以每小时25英里的速度行驶，不断地在车道上漂移，所以其他的车按喇叭，转向，撞到护栏之类的东西。 比阿特丽斯姑妈一直用她那戴着珠宝的手指抓着方向盘。 她布满皱纹的脸上涂上了Day-Glo红色口红和胭脂，使她的蓝色头发看起来更蓝。 丹想知道她是否会让其他司机做关于老小丑的噩梦。 “艾米！”她厉声说，这时另一辆SUV因为比阿特丽斯刚把车停在前面，从出口斜坡上冲了下来。 “别在车里看书！”这是

not safe!" "But, Aunt Beatrice—" "Young lady, close that book!" Amy did, which was typical. She never put up a fight with adults. Amy had long reddish-brown hair, unlike Dan's, which was dark blond. This helped Dan pretend his sister was an alien imposter, but unfortunately they had the same eyes — green like jade, their grandmother used to say. Amy was three years older and six inches taller than Dan, and she never let him forget it—like being fourteen was such a big deal. Usually, she wore jeans and some old T-shirt because she didn't like people noticing her, but today she was wearing a black dress so she looked like a vampire's bride. Dan hoped her outfit was as uncomfortable as his stupid suit and tie. Aunt Beatrice had thrown a fit when he tried to go to the funeral in his ninja clothes. It wasn't as if Grace would care if he was comfortable and deadly, the way he felt when he pretended to be a ninja, but of course Aunt Beatrice didn't understand. Sometimes it was hard

不安全!”“可是，比阿特丽斯姨妈——”“小姐，把书合上！”艾米做了，这很典型。 她从不和大人打架。 艾米有一头红褐色的长发，不像丹是深金色的。 这有助于丹假装他的妹妹是外星人的骗子，但不幸的是，他们有同样的眼睛——绿得像翡翠，他们的祖母曾经说过。 艾米比丹大三岁，高六英寸，她从未让丹忘记这一点——好像十四岁有什么大不了似的。 通常，她穿牛仔裤和一些旧t恤，因为她不喜欢别人注意到她，但今天她穿了一条黑色的裙子，所以她看起来像一个吸血鬼的新娘。 丹希望她的衣服和他那愚蠢的西装领带一样不舒服。 当他试图穿着忍者服去参加葬礼时，比阿特丽斯姨妈大发脾气。 他假装成忍者时的那种舒适和致命的感觉，格蕾丝似乎并不在乎，但比阿特丽斯姨妈当然不理解。 有时候很难

for him to believe she and Grace were sisters. "Remind me to fire your au pair as soon as we return to Boston," Beatrice grumbled. "You two have been entirely too spoiled." "Nellie's nice!" Dan protested. "Hmph! This Nellie almost let you burn down the neighbor's apartment building!" "Exactly!" Every couple of weeks, Beatrice fired their au pair and hired a new one. The only good thing was that Aunt Beatrice didn't live with them personally. She lived across town in a building that didn't allow kids, so sometimes it took her a few days to hear about Dan's latest exploits. Nellie had lasted longer than most. Dan liked her because she made amazing waffles and she usually cranked her iPod up to brain-damage level. She didn't even hear when Dan's bottle rocket collection went off and strafed the building across the alley. Dan would miss Nellie when she got fired. Aunt Beatrice kept driving and muttering about spoiled children. Amy secretly went back to her huge book. The last two days, since they got

让他相信她和格蕾丝是姐妹。 “我们一回到波士顿，就提醒我解雇你的保姆，”比阿特丽斯抱怨道。 “你们两个完全被宠坏了。” “内莉很好!”丹抗议。 “嗯!这个内莉差点让你把邻居的公寓楼烧了！”“完全正确!”每隔几个星期，比阿特丽斯就会解雇他们的保姆，再雇一个新的。 唯一的好处是比阿特丽斯姨妈没有亲自和他们住在一起。 她住在城市另一头的一栋不允许孩子进入的大楼里，所以有时她要过几天才能听到丹最近的事迹。 内莉坚持的时间比大多数人都长。 丹喜欢她，因为她做的华夫饼很棒，而且她经常把iPod的音量调到脑损伤的程度。 她甚至没有听到丹的瓶子火箭爆炸了，并扫射了小巷对面的大楼。 当内莉被解雇时，丹会想念她。 比阿特丽斯姑妈一边开车，一边嘟囔着被宠坏的孩子。 艾米偷偷地回到她那本大书旁。 过去两天，自从他们

the news about Grace's death, Amy had been reading even more than usual. Dan knew it was her way of hiding, but he kind of resented it because it shut him out, too. "What are you reading this time?" he asked. "Medieval European Doorknobs? Bath Towels Through the Ages?" Amy gave him an ugly face — or an uglier-than-usual face. "None of your business, dweeb." "You can't call a ninja lord dweeb. You have disgraced the family. You must commit seppuku." Amy rolled her eyes. After a few more miles, the city melted into farmland. It started to look like Grace country, and even though Dan had promised himself he wouldn't get sappy, he began to feel sad. Grace had been the coolest ever. She'd treated him and Amy like real people, not kids. That's why she'd insisted they simply call her Grace, not Grandmother or Gran or Nana or any silly name like that. She'd been one of the only people who'd ever cared about them. Now she was dead, and they had to go to the funeral and see a bunch of relatives who had never been nice to them…

听到格蕾丝去世的消息后，艾米比平时读得更多了。 丹知道这是她隐藏自己的方式，但他有点讨厌，因为这也把他拒之门外。 “这次你在读什么？”他问。 “中世纪的欧洲门把手？” 浴巾的历史？”艾米给了他一张丑脸——或者比平时更丑的脸。 “不关你的事，笨蛋。” “你不能说忍者是笨蛋。 你使这个家族蒙羞。 你必须切腹自杀。”艾米翻了个白眼。 又走了几英里后，这座城市变成了农田。 它开始看起来像格雷斯乡村，尽管丹向自己保证他不会变得多愁善感，但他开始感到悲伤。 格蕾丝是最酷的。 她把他和艾米当真人看待，而不是孩子。 这就是为什么她坚持叫她格蕾丝，而不是叫她奶奶、奶奶、娜娜或诸如此类的傻名字。 她是唯一一个关心他们的人。 现在她死了，他们不得不去参加葬礼，去见一群对他们从来都不好的亲戚……

The family cemetery sat at the bottom of the hill from the mansion. Dan thought it was kind of stupid they'd hired a hearse to carry Grace a hundred yards down the driveway. They could've put wheels on the coffin like they have on suitcases and that would've worked just as well. Summer storm clouds rumbled overhead. The family mansion looked dark and gloomy on its hill, like a lord's castle. Dan loved the place, with its billion rooms and chimneys and stained glass windows. He loved the family graveyard even more. A dozen crumbling tombstones spread out across a green meadow ringed in trees, right next to a little creek. Some of the stones were so old the writing had faded away. Grace used to take Amy and him down to the meadow on their weekend visits. Grace and Amy would spend the afternoon on a picnic blanket, reading and talking, while Dan explored the graves and the woods and the creek. Stop that, Dan told himself. You're getting sentimental. "So many people," Amy murmured, as they

家族墓地坐落在离府邸不远的山脚下。 丹觉得他们雇了一辆灵车把格蕾丝抬到一百码外的车道上有点傻。 他们可以给棺材装上轮子就像给行李箱装上轮子一样那样也能起到同样的作用。 夏日的风暴云在头顶上隆隆作响。 家族的府邸在山上显得阴暗阴暗，就像一个领主的城堡。 丹喜欢这个地方，它有数十亿个房间、烟囱和彩色玻璃窗。 他更喜欢家族墓地了。 十几座摇摇欲坠的墓碑散布在绿树成荫的草地上，旁边就是一条小溪。 有些石头太古老了，字迹都褪了。 格蕾丝过去常常在艾米和他周末拜访的时候带他们去草地上。 格蕾丝和艾米会在野餐毯上度过一个下午，一边看书一边聊天，而丹则在坟墓、树林和小溪间探险。 别这样，丹对自己说。 你变得多愁善感了。 “这么多人，”艾美喃喃地说