29 The Enthusiastic Victim

The Enthusiastic Victim Not sorrykins! Sensational! I meant to say sensational," said the beast, slapping itself again. "Slip of the tongues," it said pompously. "Just a little slip of the tongues." "That seems to be happening loads," said Bethany, scowling at the beast. "You're talking like… like you were before your mind came back." "NO, I'M NOT!" said the beast, stamping one of its tiny feet. "I haven't changed at all!

So you can get that stupid idea out of your snot-filled head!" "Who said anything about being changed?" said Bethany. "We didn't bring it up," said Ebenezer. "Have you changed, beast?" "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" roared the beast. "Does it look like I've changed to you?" The beast motioned at the chaos and screams in the room. It was enraged when Bethany, Ebenezer, and Claudette did actually have a look—and took their time doing it. "You let the lizard lady go," said Bethany. "While you were talking to us, the scarf slithered off her neck." The lizard lady was croaking and panting for breath. "My name… is… Barbara," she

croaked. Unfortunately, her croak was too quiet for anyone to hear. "That was an accident!" said the beast. It wiggled its fingers at the scarf. The scarf started wrapping itself around the lizard lady's neck again—until the beast wiggled its fingers once more and let the scarf fall limply to the floor. "And I don't have to prove myself to you!" "You haven't decapitated anyone yet," said Ebenezer, as he looked around at all the screaming yet full-headed neighbors in the room. "In fact—I don't think the Frisbees are low enough to give people so much as a haircut." Lying at the bottom of the canoe in the middle of the sweetshop, Mortimer groaned and stirred. For the first time, Bethany,

Ebenezer, and Claudette noticed the bandages around the parrot's talons and the ropes tying him up. "Morty's… alive?" rasped Claudette with joy. "Why didn't you eat him?" asked Bethany. "It must have been a right pain tying him up. And those bandages look like the ones you vomited out for Dr. Barnacle. Did you heal Mortimer?" "His blood was making a mess on my pretty kitchen floor," said the beast. "And if you must know, I didn't eat him because I was saving my appetite." Ebenezer laughed at this. The beast treated him to a three-eyed glare that could have frightened the skin off a badger, but Ebenezer didn't stop.

"You never save your appetite," said Ebenezer, still chuckling. "You have changed!" "I have NOT changed!" roared the beast. "I'll drink the insides out of that parrot's talons like a sippy cup! I'll wiggle my fingers and chop off the heads of every stupid neighbor here if you want me to." "No!" pleaded Claudette. Ebenezer got to his knees. "Oh please, beast. Don't do it!" The beast smiled. Finally, it was getting the respect it deserved. "Go on then," said Bethany. The beast snapped its head at the brat. "What did you say, snot-brain?" asked the beast. "I said, go on then," said Bethany. She had told enough fibs in her life to be able to spot a

liar. "I don't think you have it in you anymore. Prove. Me. Wrong." "I am the builder and destroyer of empires!" spat the beast. "I have done things that would make your puny brain leak out of your ears, and I have vomited cruelty that would cause your jaw to fall to your ankles! I am—" "Yeah, yeah—terrifying, powerful, we get it," said Bethany, rolling her eyes. "Stop threatening to do evil, and just flipping get on with it. If you've got it in you, that is." "FINE!" said the beast. "But remember—you asked for this.…" The beast chomped down the megaphone. It stretched out both of its tiny hands, preparing to decapitate an entire