2 The No-Beast and the Bethany

The No-Beast and the Bethany LET ME GOOO!" Bethany cried, as the beast's two fat tongues slithered around her neck like a pair of greedy cobras. She was trapped in the glowing red walls of a D.o.R.R.i.S. laser cage. Her best friend, the young, 512-year-old Ebenezer Tweezer, was lying dead on the floor. "Oh, I don't think so," said the beast. Bethany had no idea how it was still able to speak, because she couldn't see its face. "This

无兽和伯大尼让我走！”伯大尼叫了起来，这只巨兽的两条大舌头像一对贪婪的眼镜蛇一样在她脖子上滑来滑去。 她被困在一间d.r.r.i.的红墙里。 激光笼。她最好的朋友，52岁的埃比尼泽·特维泽，躺在地板上死了。 “哦，我不这么认为，”野兽说。 宝芬妮不知道它怎么还能说话，因为她看不见它的脸。 “这

particular feast has been a long time coming, and I have every intention of enjoying my supper." As the beast spoke, more and more tongues wrapped themselves around Bethany—first slithering around her sneakers and jeans, then covering her sweater, before two more headed straight for her face. "Did you really think you could escape me?" asked the beast. Bethany wriggled and writhed as she felt herself being dragged toward the beast's dribbling, stinking mouth.

这个特别的盛宴已经等了很久了，我很想好好享受这顿晚餐。” 当野兽说话的时候，越来越多的舌头围着贝瑟尼——先是绕着她的运动鞋和牛仔裤，然后盖住她的毛衣，然后又有两条舌头直接冲着她的脸来。 “你真的以为你能从我手里逃脱吗？”野兽问。 贝瑟妮扭动着身体，她感到自己被拖向那只流淌着臭气的野兽的嘴里。

"Didn't you realize the truth? I always have another scheme up my sleeve." The beast let out a deep, slithery chuckle. As Bethany was dragged closer to her death, she realized that this was inevitable. She'd never had a chance of defeating the beast. And then, just as she was about to be chomped to pieces, Bethany woke up. She found herself tossing and turning in her bedroom of the fifteen-story house. She was soaking wet. At first, she thought she was drenched in the beast's dribble, before she realized that it was just her own sweat. She patted her body, furiously checking that every limb, finger, knuckle, and kneecap was still there, unchomped and ready to use. As she got out of bed, her legs were still trembling, and she had to rub her eyes a few

“难道你没有意识到真相吗？” 我总有别的办法。” 那畜生发出一声低沉而滑溜溜的咯咯笑。 当宝芬妮被拖向死亡的边缘时，她意识到这是不可避免的。 她从来没有机会打败野兽。 然后，就在她快要被咬成碎片的时候，宝芬妮醒了。 她发现自己在十五层楼的卧室里辗转反侧。 她全身湿透了。起初，她以为自己被野兽的口水淋湿了，后来才意识到那只是她自己的汗水。 她拍了拍自己的身体，愤怒地检查着自己的四肢、手指、关节和膝盖骨是否都还在，没有受伤，可以使用了。 当她下床时，她的腿还在颤抖，她不得不揉了揉眼睛

times to make absolutely certain that she wasn't actually trapped in the beast's cage. "Stupid, stupid brain," she grumbled. "Why do you always have to give me nightmares?" Her brain had been tormenting her with nightmares for months—ever since she had last seen the beast in its cage. Sometimes her mind had devised elaborate scenarios involving exploding teapots and volcanic beehives; other times it had kept things classic with a simple head-chomping. It always took Bethany a few moments to recover. She was forever grateful that the creature who had almost eaten her alive (twice) was trapped in some faraway cage. If her legs hadn't been trembling, she might have even attempted to jump for joy.

为了确保她没有被困在野兽的笼子里。 “愚蠢，愚蠢的大脑，”她抱怨道。 “你为什么总是让我做噩梦？”自从她最后一次看到笼子里的野兽以来，几个月来，她的大脑一直在用噩梦折磨着她。 有时，她的脑子里会设计出复杂的场景，比如茶壶爆炸和火山蜂窝；其他时候，它会用简单的咬头动作来保持经典。 宝芬妮总是需要一些时间才能恢复过来。 她永远感激那个差点吃掉她（两次）的生物被困在某个遥远的笼子里。 如果她的腿没有颤抖，她甚至可能会高兴得跳起来。

Bethany got dressed and stomped out of the room, determined to put the whole thing behind her. She hadn't told anyone about her nightmares, because speaking about them somehow made them more real. When she got downstairs, she found Ebenezer worriedly looking out the window. Usually, Bethany liked to begin her day by pranking Ebenezer, or making fun of his stupid waistcoats, but there was something about seeing him dead in her dreams that put her in a more generous mood. She ran over and treated him to an ever-so-slightly-terrifying grin. "Morning, gitface!" She took a moment to compose herself, because she was never very good at saying soppy things. "I just want you

宝芬妮穿好衣服，跺着脚走出房间，决心把整件事抛在脑后。 她没有告诉任何人她的噩梦，因为谈论它们不知何故使它们更加真实。 当她下楼时，发现埃比尼泽忧心忡忡地望着窗外。 通常，贝瑟妮喜欢以捉弄埃比尼泽或取笑他愚蠢的马甲开始她的一天，但梦见他死了，她的心情变得更慷慨了。 她跑过去，对他微微露出可怕的笑容。 “早上好,gitface !”她花了一会儿时间让自己镇定下来，因为她从来不擅长说伤感的话。 “我只要你

to know… I'm really glad you haven't been horribly murdered." Ebenezer turned away from the window and blinked at her a few times. This was one of the nicest things that Bethany had ever said to him, and he had no idea what he had done to deserve it. "Thank you, Bethany," said Ebenezer. He wasn't too good at the soppy stuff either, so he took a deep breath. "I… well, I'm delighted that you haven't been horribly murdered either." Bethany flashed her terrifying grin again, before stomping through to the kitchen. She picked up a hammer and started bashing a poor, defenseless muffin to death, while Ebenezer returned his attention to the window.

我真的很高兴你没有被可怕地谋杀。” 埃比尼泽从窗口转过身来，朝她眨了几下眼睛。 这是宝芬妮对他说过的最好的话之一，他不知道自己做了什么，应该得到这样的待遇。 “谢谢你，宝芬妮，”埃比尼泽说。 他也不太擅长伤感的东西，所以他深吸了一口气。 “我……嗯，我也很高兴你没有遭到可怕的谋杀。” 贝瑟尼又露出可怕的笑容，然后大步走进厨房。 她拿起一把锤子，开始砸死一个可怜的、毫无防备的松饼，而埃比尼泽则把注意力转移到窗户上。