15 The Vomit for the Whole Neighborhood

The Vomit for the Whole Neighborhood Soooah," said the beast. "Which lucky person are we going to visit next?" Ebenezer decided to test the beast. He removed a small leather-bound notebook from his jacket pocket. It contained a record of everyone who had been to visit his Wise Tweezer business.

整个邻居的呕吐物。”野兽说。 “下一个我们要去拜访的幸运儿是谁？”埃比尼泽决定试试这头野兽。 他从夹克口袋里掏出一个皮面的小笔记本。 里面有一份记录，记录了所有去过他的Wise Tweezer店的人。

"Three streets away—second left at the roundabout. The house with the orange door," said Ebenezer. "There's a kindly old lady who needs help delivering a letter." The beast made the canoe whoosh faster than it had ever whooshed before, making the whole journey a terrifying affair of near crashes and decapitations. By the time they made it to the kindly old lady's house, Ebenezer felt that all 512 years of his existence had flashed past his eyes. The beast waddled out of the canoe and bashed its tiny fists against the orange door. A few moments later, the kindly old lady opened it, took one look at the beast, and fainted. "Oopsicles," said the beast. "Have I killed her, Ebby-kneesies? That's not a very do-goody thing to do, is it?"

“再过三条街——在环形交叉路口的第二个左边。 有橙色门的房子，”埃比尼泽说。 “有一位好心的老太太，她需要帮忙送一封信。” 这只野兽使独木舟比以往任何时候都快得多，使整个旅程变成了一件可怕的事情，险些撞毁和斩首。 当他们到达这位慈祥的老太太的家时，埃比尼泽觉得自己512年的生命从眼前一闪而过。 那野兽摇摇摆摆地走出独木舟，用它的小拳头猛击那扇橙色的门。 过了一会儿，慈祥的老太太打开它，看了那只野兽一眼，就昏倒了。 “哦，冰棒。”野兽说。 “我杀了她吗，艾比膝？” 这可不是什么好事，对吧？”

"Step aside," said Ebenezer. "I'll handle this." The beast obediently stepped aside, like the good little doggy it was pretending to be. When Ebenezer got to the kindly old lady's unconscious body, he realized that first aid was one of the many things he knew nothing about. "Not entirely sure what we should do here," he said. He gave the kindly old lady a tap on the shoulder. "Wakey-wakey?" The kindly old lady refused to wakey-wakey. Ebenezer frowned, unsure what he should do next. Then he noticed that the kindly old lady was clinging to a letter. He prized it out of her hands. "This is what she came to me about. She wanted to deliver a birthday card to her

“靠边站，”埃比尼泽说。 “我来处理。”那只野兽乖乖地站到一边，就像它假装成一只乖小狗一样。 当埃比尼泽来到这位善良的老妇人失去知觉的身体前时，他意识到急救是他一无所知的许多事情之一。 “不完全确定我们在这里应该做什么，”他说。 他轻轻地拍了拍那位慈祥的老太太的肩膀。 “Wakey-wakey ?”这位慈祥的老妇人拒绝叫醒她。 埃比尼泽皱起眉头，不知道下一步该怎么办。 这时，他注意到这位慈祥的老太太紧紧抓着一封信。 他从她手中夺走了它。 “这就是她来找我的原因。 她想送一张生日贺卡给她

granddaughter in Australia, but she feared that she was too late," said Ebenezer. "I thought a simple solution would be to buy a carrier pigeon from the bird shop and give it firm instructions to go to Australia." "What a fabbywab plan!" said the beast. "Well, it would have been, if I had bought the right type of pigeon," said Ebenezer. "Unfortunately, the one I got ate the letter and pooped it back out on top of the kindly old lady's best hat. She must have written this one to replace it. I really wasn't much help to her." "We can fixxy-wix that," said the beast. It closed its eyes, then hummed and wiggled a bit from side to side before vomiting out a postbox in the hallway, with a mouth that was constantly opening and closing. It looked positively ravenous for letters. "This boxy will

埃比尼泽说：“我的孙女在澳大利亚，但她担心已经太晚了。” “我想一个简单的解决办法就是从鸟店买一只信鸽，给它明确的指示去澳大利亚。” “多么荒唐的计划啊！”野兽说。 埃比尼泽说：“嗯，如果我买到了合适的鸽子，就会是这样。” “不幸的是，我得到的那只猫把信吃了，并把它撒在了这位善良的老太太最好的帽子上。 她一定是写了这封信来代替它。 我真的帮不上什么忙。” “我们可以解决这个问题，”野兽说。 它闭上眼睛，哼哼着，左右扭动了一下，然后在走廊里的一个邮筒里吐了出来，嘴巴不停地张着合着。 它看起来非常渴望得到信件。 “这个方框会

send letters anywhere in the world," said the beast. The kindly old lady sat up and blinked between Ebenezer and the beast. "Terribly sorry. Wasn't expecting to see such a peculiar doggy on my doorstep," she said. She looked at the postbox. "What's that?" "Apparently it sends letters anywhere in the world," said Ebenezer. "I'm not sure I'd trust it, if I were you." The kindly old lady got to her feet and shuffled across the hallway to take a closer look at the postbox. She waited until the mouth was open and popped the letter inside. The postbox made a chewing sound. Then it burped out a delivery slip. The kindly old lady and Ebenezer looked inside and saw that the letter was no longer there.

把信寄到世界上任何一个地方。”野兽说。 慈祥的老妇人坐起来，在埃比尼泽和野兽之间眨着眼睛。 “非常抱歉。没想到会在我家门口看到这么一只奇怪的狗。” 她看了看邮箱。 “那是什么?”埃比尼泽说：“显然，它可以把信送到世界任何地方。” “如果我是你，我不确定是否会相信它。” 这位慈祥的老妇人站起来，拖着脚步穿过走廊，仔细看了看邮筒。 她一直等到信封口打开，然后把信塞了进去。 邮筒发出咀嚼的声音。 然后它发出了一张送货单。 慈祥的老太太和埃比尼泽往里面一看，发现那封信已经不在了。

"Mr. Tweezer, this is extraordinary," said the kindly old lady. "Thank you so much!" "It's in Australia now," said the beast shyly. Unfortunately, the sight of the beast speaking made the kindly old lady faint again. "I love giving old people helpsies!" said the beast. "And you're absolutely suresies that I haven't killed her?"

“镊子先生，这太不可思议了，”慈祥的老太太说。 “太感谢你了！”“它现在在澳大利亚，”野兽害羞地说。 不幸的是，看到野兽说话，善良的老太太又晕了过去。 “我喜欢帮助老人！”野兽说。 “你绝对肯定我没有杀她？”