11 The Rude Awakening

The Rude Awakening Ebenezer woke up to find that Mr. Nickle had left, and that Bethany had still not returned. There was also a strange ringing in his ears. He threw off the blanket and gave himself an almighty head rush by jumping to his feet. He quickly dashed around the ground floor of the house, looking for Bethany in every room, from the exotic tea pantry to the groovy disco lounge. He was about to look on the upper floors as well when he noticed that the answering machine was flashing. He jabbed

the play button so hard that he clicked his finger. "Oi, oi, gitface!" Ebenezer heaved a sigh of relief. He felt certain that Bethany had been working on some brilliant way to defeat the beast's evil scheme. "Muddle thought I should let you know that I'm staying here tonight. Anyway, you and Nickle have got it all covered. Might give you a call again later, might not." For a few moments, Ebenezer stood in front of the phone, looking like he had been slapped across the face by a large and deeply unfriendly fish. He clicked the play button again. There were no other new messages.

He couldn't believe that she would just leave him to deal with the beast on his own. By not helping him, she was basically condemning him to a life in a cage. He couldn't remember a time in his five centuries of life when he had ever felt more betrayed. On top of that, the blasted ringing in his ears was growing louder and louder. He tried clearing the sound by jabbing his fingers in and out of the ears, but nothing worked. He soon realized that the ringing wasn't coming from his ears. It was coming from the very top of the house. Ebenezer was all on his own with the beast. He patted the button that Mr. Nickle had given him and marched up the many staircases. He barged through the rickety old

door and found the beast excitedly tugging on the bell that was beside the red velvet curtains. "Look at this, Ebby-kneesies! It's fabbywabby!" said the beast. It seemed utterly delighted by the sound the bell was making, like a kitty cat with a brand-new toy. "Don't act like you haven't seen it before," said Ebenezer curtly. "You always ring it when you want me." "Are you telling me that this little bellsies lets me have chatty-wats with you whenever I like?" asked the beast, letting out a stinky gasp. "Well, now it's even more fabbywabby!"

Ebenezer didn't have time for this. He wanted to vent his fury at Bethany by commissioning an artist to paint an extremely moody portrait of him in the Posing Gallery. The beast started ringing the bell again, giggling like a little child. "Every house should have an Ebby-kneesies bellsies!" said the beast. "What sort of things did we used to

chatty-wat about, back when I had all my memmies?" "I'm not playing this game with you," said Ebenezer. "I just want to know more about what our friendship used to be like," said the beast, tugging happily at the bell again. "It wasn't a friendship," snapped Ebenezer. His mind was already bursting with outfit ideas for his moody portrait. He thought a leather jacket and his most bad-boy bow tie might be the perfect choice. "You just ordered me to bring all manner of disgusting meals to this attic." The beast stopped playing with the bell and looked at it with a whole new expression. "Oh dearsies," said the beast. "That doesn't seem like a very friendly thing to do."