9 The Unwanted Assistance

The Unwanted Assistance Claudette and Bethany began their volunteering mission at the bird shop. Like nearly everyone else in the neighborhood that morning, the bird-keeper was humming the melody to "Hurricane Picnic." "Morning!" boomed Bethany. "How can I help?" "Ain't that the question I'm supposed to ask?" said the bird-keeper. "Maybe on a normal day, but this is no normal day. I'm here to volunteer," said Bethany. "Would you like me to feed a grape to the Fantastically Ferocious Eagle? I can even give that stinky hoatzin a bath if you'd like."

The bird-keeper was a straight-talking, straight-thinking kind of businessman, and it took him a while to understand the concept of volunteering. His confusion wasn't helped by the fact that he had spent most of the morning resolving a tense argument between Keith the Dove and the Hawaiian honeycreepers.

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"I ain't getting it," he said. "You're telling me that you wanna do work here, but you don't want money for it?" The bird-keeper couldn't believe his good fortune, and he nearly started jumping for joy. But then he almost did a few cartwheels of frustration. "My bloomin' luck. I get my very first volunteer, and it turns out to be a prankster," he said grumpily. "I've given up the pranking," said Bethany. "Gimme something to do. You won't regret it." "I won't regret it, 'cause I won't do it," said the bird-keeper. "And there's no point lying. Those things you sold me show you're still a nasty prankster." "Oh deary, not your things as well. What's happened?" asked Claudette.

"The mind-reading vacuum is a menace. I've had to lock it away 'cause I caught it trying to hoover up the toucans," said the bird-keeper. "Meanwhile, that bleedin' piano in the corner has started playing itself—loudly and 'orridly—when I'm tryna get the day birds off to sleep. It's got Bethany's name all over it." "But I didn't do anything," said Bethany sadly. "I don't believe you, and even if I did, I wouldn't take the risk. My business is too important," said the bird-keeper. "What 'bout you, Claudette—feeling any perkier?" "All fine," she said quickly. "You sure? Your color don't look right. Let's do some more tests," said the bird-keeper.

"What tests?" asked Bethany. "Oh, I came here before last night's rehearsal. Just wanted to check that those sleepless nights I've been having weren't anything to worry about," said Claudette, still speaking hurriedly. "It doesn't matter. The results showed I'm an incredibly healthy parrot, didn't they? No more tests for me." "Suit yourself," said the bird-keeper with a huff. "Now, if you don't mind, some of us have a business to run.…" Bethany and Claudette left the shop. They flew over to the Cussock Theater to volunteer their services. "The theater is no place for children!" said Mr. Cussock. "Especially ones like you! We still remember the day you put superglue on all our