8 The Precious Vomit

The Precious Vomit That night, Ebenezer's dreams were haunted by memories. In the last of these memories, he was sitting in the beast's attic, dabbing his dry eyes with an exquisitely embroidered handkerchief. "I still don't understand why you asked me to vomit out that ridiculous thing," said the beast. "It was for the funeral," said Ebenezer woundedly. "And it was a jolly good funeral too. Well, not good… and certainly not jolly.

那天晚上，埃比尼泽的梦中萦绕着回忆。 在这些最后的记忆里，他坐在那只野兽的阁楼里，用一条绣得精美的手帕擦着干涩的眼睛。 “我还是不明白你为什么要我把那可笑的东西吐出来，”野兽说。 “这是为葬礼准备的，”受伤的埃比尼泽说。 “葬礼也办得很好。 嗯，不太好……当然也不愉快。

But, you know, there was a lot of dashed respectful crying going on. I think Nicholas would have been very pleased." "My dear boy, I think he would have been a lot more pleased if he hadn't accidentally impaled himself on his own pointy stick," said the beast. "He was a moron, unworthy of mourning. You should have let me puddle him all those years ago." "He always loved making those pointy sticks…," said Ebenezer. Even though their relationship had gotten off to a rocky (and pointed-sticky) start, Ebenezer had spent more time chatting with Nicholas than any other human. This was because he had made Nicholas spend every Saturday afternoon with him, using the threat of the beast as a motivating influence.

但是，你知道，有很多充满敬意的哭泣。 我想尼古拉斯会很高兴的。” “我亲爱的孩子，我想如果他没有不小心被自己的尖棍刺穿，他会高兴得多。”野兽说。 “他是个白痴，不值得服丧。 多年前你就该让我把他淹死的。” 埃比尼泽说：“他总是喜欢做那些尖尖的棍子。” 尽管他们的关系一开始就不稳定（而且很棘手），埃比尼泽和尼古拉斯聊天的时间比其他任何人都多。 这是因为他让尼古拉斯每个星期六下午都和他在一起，用野兽的威胁来激励他。

Under the circumstances, it was hardly surprising that the conversation had been somewhat stilted. In spite of this, Ebenezer was still determined to feel poopy when he died. "Come now, Ebenezer. Your attempts at misery are bringing down my mood. Would you like me to vomit out some jazzy trousers or something?" asked the beast. "I don't think that's going to help," Ebenezer said. It was the first time he'd ever had a problem that couldn't be at least partially solved by jazzy trousers. "The thing that upsets me most is the fact that I'll never spend another awkward afternoon with Nicholas again. They were the highlights of my week, even though I'm pretty sure they were the lowlights of his. I just can't get my

在这种情况下，谈话有些生硬也就不足为奇了。 尽管如此，埃比尼泽仍然决心在他死的时候感到很累。 “来吧，埃比尼泽。你的痛苦使我情绪低落。 “你想让我吐出来一些花哨的裤子什么的吗？”野兽问。 “我不认为这会有帮助，”埃比尼泽说。 这是他第一次遇到一个问题，至少部分不能通过爵士裤来解决。 “最让我难过的是，我再也不能和尼古拉斯一起度过尴尬的下午了。 它们是我这一周的亮点，尽管我很确定它们是他这一周的亮点。 我就是拿不到我的

head around how someone can be here one day and then gone the next." "It's called death, Ebenezer. It happens to all stupid people." Ebenezer dabbed again. This time, mainly in an attempt to show the beast that its comments were most unhelpful. "Oh fine, then," said the beast with a stinky sigh. "If I vomit out a way for you to see him one more time, will you perk up?" Ebenezer nodded eagerly. The beast closed its eyes and shut its mouth. It wiggled its blob of a body and made a low humming noise as it moved from side to side. Then, all of a sudden—Ebenezer woke up. It had been centuries since he'd thought about Nicholas, and the generous gift that the beast had vomited out. As he got dressed and

想想为什么有人今天还在，明天就走了。” “这叫死亡，埃比尼泽。 所有愚蠢的人都会这样。” 埃比尼泽又擦了擦。这一次，主要是为了向这头野兽表明，它的评论是最没有帮助的。 “哦，那好吧，”野兽叹了口气说。 “如果我想办法让你再见到他一次，你会振作起来吗？”埃比尼泽急切地点点头。 野兽闭上眼睛，闭上嘴巴。 它扭动着它那一团一团的身体，一边移动一边发出低沉的嗡嗡声。 然后，埃比尼泽突然醒了。 他已经有好几个世纪没有想到尼古拉斯了，也没有想到这头野兽吐出的慷慨的礼物。 当他穿好衣服和

went downstairs, he tried to figure out why the memory was revisiting him. The radio was on in the kitchen, and the neighborhood radio station was playing "Hurricane Picnic" on repeat because everyone who had been at the rehearsal was calling in to request it. Claudette was dancing and singing along—her face beaming with pleasure—but Bethany was just dancing, because she refused to sing in front of Claudette. Ebenezer joined them. His singing was adequate, but his dancing was absolutely terrible—all arms and legs, with no sense of rhythm. He crashed into the saucepans during one particularly ambitious move. "What are you doing, you stupid gitface?" said Bethany. She was laughing at him whilst

他下了楼，想弄清楚为什么那段记忆会再次出现。 厨房里的收音机开着，附近的广播电台正在重复播放《飓风野餐》，因为所有参加过排练的人都打来电话要求播放。 克劳德特一边跳舞一边唱歌——她的脸上洋溢着快乐的笑容——但宝芬妮只是在跳舞，因为她拒绝在克劳德特面前唱歌。 埃比尼泽也加入了他们。他的歌唱还算过得去，但他的舞蹈简直糟透了——全都是胳膊和腿，没有节奏感。 在一次雄心勃勃的行动中，他陷入了困境。 “你在干什么，你这张傻脸？”宝芬妮说。 她在嘲笑他

the politer Claudette attempted to keep a straight face. "Letting loose like it's 1899. And I must say, it's far more invigorating than the usual morning bath," said Ebenezer. "You should give it a go. Sing along with us!" "No way. I am not a singer," said Bethany. But she was drowned out by the sound of

礼貌的克劳德特竭力板着脸。 “像1899年一样放松。 我必须说，这比平常早上洗澡更让人精神焕发。” “你应该试试。和我们一起唱吧！”“没门。 我不是歌手，”宝芬妮说。 但她被声音淹没了