2 The De-Beasting

The De-Beasting What a creature—so unlike anything I've ever seen! Such beauty, such poise, such grace—you deserve the world, and I'm going to jolly well make sure I give it to you." Five hundred years later, Ebenezer was soaking in his morning bubble bath, whispering sweet nothings to the reflection in his handheld mirror. Over the centuries, he had learned that mirrors are much easier to talk to than walls—especially when you have a rigorous potion-and-skin-care routine that

真是一种生物——和我所见过的任何生物都不一样！这么漂亮，这么稳重，这么优雅——你配得上这个世界，我一定要把它给你。” 五百年后，埃比尼泽沐浴在早晨的泡泡浴中，对着手持的镜子里的反射低语着甜言蜜语。 几个世纪以来，他已经了解到，对着镜子说话比对着墙说话容易得多——尤其是当你有严格的药水和皮肤护理程序时

gives you a face as beautiful as a twilight moon. "Why the sad face?" Ebenezer asked himself. "The morning bath has always been a happy occasion!" Over the course of his long, long lifetime, Ebenezer had soaked in almost two hundred thousand baths, and they had all been very happy occasions indeed. Today, however, there was something amok. For one thing, Ebenezer's windup rubber ducky was missing. This was a serious blow to proceedings, because Raphael was a ducky who had performed tricks and sung moving sea shanties every morning since the beast had vomited him out. For another, there was something peculiar about the smell in the room. Thanks to the

给了你一张像黄昏的月亮一样美丽的脸。 “为什么愁眉苦脸？”埃比尼泽问自己。 “早上洗澡总是一件令人愉快的事！”在埃比尼泽漫长的一生中，他泡了将近20万次澡，每次都是非常愉快的时刻。 然而，今天发生了一些反常的事情。 首先，埃比尼泽的上弦橡皮鸭子不见了。 这对诉讼程序是一个严重的打击，因为拉斐尔是一只鸭子，自从那只野兽把他吐出来后，他每天早上都要表演魔术，唱移动的海上棚屋。 其次，房间里的气味有些奇怪。 多亏了

beast, Ebenezer was accustomed to baths that were bubbled and salted with only the very finest products a man can bathe in, and yet there was a distinctly cheap and nasty odor leaking out of the bubbles—as if someone had replaced his salts with dishwasher powder. For the third, final, and most-disturbing-of-all thing, there was a smudgy, greasy-fingered message from Bethany on his handheld mirror: OI, GITFACE. NO TIME FOR BATHING TODAY. DE-BEASTING TO BE DONE. Naturally, Ebenezer had ignored the message, because it was his long-held belief that there is always time for a bath. He believed that you often need to take a bath

不过，埃比尼泽已经习惯了用男人洗澡时用的最好的产品来泡浴和加盐，然而泡沫中却散发出一种明显廉价而难闻的气味——就好像有人用洗碗粉代替了他的盐。 第三件事，也是最后一件事，也是最令人不安的一件事，在他的手持镜子上，有一条来自贝瑟妮的脏兮兮的、油腻腻的信息：喂，GITFACE。 今天没时间洗澡了。 要除掉野兽了。很自然，埃比尼泽忽略了这个信息，因为他长期以来一直认为，总是有时间洗澡的。 他认为你需要经常洗澡

right at the moment when other people would have you believe that there is no time for one. However, the message continued to vex and irk because it made him wonder what Bethany had planned for their day, and eventually his curiosity could take it no more. He cut his bath short by a couple of hours; threw on some loungewear, slippers, and a dressing gown; and made his way downstairs. His journey was fraught with confusion and peril because certain items in the fifteen-story house seemed to have gone walkabout. Confusion clouded his face when he noticed that all the furnishings from the velvet suite had been replaced with deck chairs and whoopee cushions. The confusion gave way to alarm when he found that his favorite collection of beautiful paintings had been

就在别人想让你相信没有时间的时候。 然而，这条信息仍然让他烦恼，因为它让他想知道宝芬妮为他们的一天计划了什么，最终他的好奇心再也无法忍受了。 他把洗澡的时间缩短了两个小时；穿上一些便服、拖鞋和晨衣；然后下楼去了。 他的旅途充满了混乱和危险，因为那幢十五层楼的房子里的某些东西似乎四处走动了。 当他注意到天鹅绒套间里的所有家具都换成了躺椅和靠垫时，他的脸上蒙上了一层困惑。 当他发现他最喜欢的美丽的绘画收藏被偷走时，困惑变成了惊慌

taken off the wall. In their place was a selection of doodles and unconvincingly proportioned stick figures, which had been graffitied onto the wallpaper and signed by Bethany. "No, no, no!" said Ebenezer, sprinting downstairs to address Bethany in his best I'm really rather cross with you sort of voice. "What on earth are you doing?" "Stupid question," said Bethany. She was quite right, because it was perfectly obvious that she was trying to remove a piano from the front room of the house. "Gimme a hand, gitface. We've gotta get this onto the street with the other stuff." "I shall do no such thing!" said Ebenezer. "I'm not going to help you rob me."

从墙上取下来。在他们的位置上是一些涂鸦和比例令人难以置信的简笔画，这些涂鸦被涂鸦在墙纸上，并有贝萨尼的签名。 “不，不，不！”埃比尼泽说着，冲下楼去，用他最好的样子对伯大尼说话。 “你到底在干什么？”“愚蠢的问题，”宝芬妮说。 她说得很对，因为很明显，她是想把一架钢琴从房子的前厅搬走。 “帮我一把，笨蛋。”我们得把这个和其他东西一起放到大街上。” “我不会这么做的！”埃比尼泽说。 “我不会帮你抢我的。”

"We're not robbing you; we're helping you. Claudette and I have been working our flipping butts off," said Bethany. And then, as if to show off her butt- working, Claudette the Wintlorian purple-breasted parrot flew into the house. Her feathery forehead was slightly damp with sweat. "That's the last of the dancing teapots done, poppets!" she said, spreading her wings in a Ta-da! pose. "Hi-de-hi, Ebenezer! Has Bethany told you about our wonderful de-beasting mission?" "De-beasting?" asked Ebenezer. "Yeah," said Bethany matter-of-factly. "De-beasting." Claudette sank her talons into the piano and assisted Bethany in her efforts to drag it

“我们不是抢劫你；我们在帮你。 克劳德特和我一直在拼命工作，”宝芬妮说。 然后，好像是为了炫耀她的翘臀，温洛里紫胸鹦鹉克劳德特飞进了房子。 她那羽毛般的前额被汗水微微打湿了。 “这是最后一个会跳舞的茶壶了，宝贝们！”她说着，展开了翅膀。姿势。 “Hi-de-hi,埃比尼泽!宝芬妮跟你说过我们精彩的灭兽任务了吗？”“除兽？”埃比尼泽问。 “是的，”宝芬妮实事求是地说。 “De-beasting。”克劳德特把她的爪子伸进钢琴里，帮着宝芬妮使劲拖着钢琴