18 The Song of the Beast

The Song of the Beast Isn't this a nice change of roles?" said the beast. "Now you're the one trapped up here, whilst I'm free to roam around downstairs and have fun with Bethany." "What have you done with her?" asked Ebenezer. His voice was croaky from all the strangling. "I haven't feasted yet, if that's what you're asking," said the beast. "There's way too much fun to be had before all that. Bethany needs to realize that, deep down, she's just as beastly as me."

"Bethany is nothing like you!" croaked Ebenezer. He was using his strongest voice, but it barely came out louder than a whisper. "Oh, I'm not so sure about that," said the beast as it stretched a wicked little smile across Claudette's beak. "Let's look at the facts, shall we? Yesterday, she fed me a live-worm sandwich, and today she is planning a horrible revenge for the rest of the neighborhood. I find it truly empowering to watch her at work." "Those things are different. She thought Claudette was telling her to do them!" "Hmm, yes. And I wonder what else she will do if 'Claudette' says it's okay," said the beast. "I've been thinking about that Gloria Cussock who she dislikes so much. Tell me,

do you think that I might be able to get Bethany to feed her to me?" "Don't be absurd. SHE'LL NEVER—" said Ebenezer. "Tut-tut. 'Never' isn't a very hopeful word now, is it?" said the beast. "Besides, you don't know Bethany like I do. You didn't see how hurt she was when I told her you abandoned her." The beast drank the look of devastation on Ebenezer's face as if it were a delicious blood-milkshake. "Bethany thinks I'm her only real friend left in the world. She thinks I'm the only person who can save her from a life at the orphanage—isn't that hysterical?" said the beast. "And I think she might do just about

anything if I convinced her that Gloria had hurt Claudette in some way." "NO!" Ebenezer wrestled against the shirt, and once again lost miserably. The beast shook Claudette's head disappointedly. "Hey now, don't be silly," it said. "I know why you're acting like this. You probably think you have to side with Bethany because I won't take you back, don't you? Hmm? Well, you'll be pleased to hear that I've thought a lot about our time together—before the unpleasant Bethany blip." The beast hobbled over and gently stroked Ebenezer with one of Claudette's talons. It left a deep cut in his cheek. "Don't worry about death, Ebenezer. I know it's always been your greatest fear," it said. "Whilst I was plotting my revenge in

Claudette's belly, I thought about what a good servant you've been. All the other ones I've had grew weak and widdly so quickly, but with you, it took five hundred years before we had any problems. I couldn't bear to lose such a valuable member of staff." "I won't serve you again," said Ebenezer. He couldn't believe he had thought for a moment that he might miss this dreadful creature. "Yes, you will. After I've killed Bethany, all the unpleasantness will be forgotten, and we'll go back to the old routine," said the beast. "You'll bring me my meals, and I'll give you everything your heart desires. You might be sulky for a week or two, but you'll get over it—just like you got over your pet cat. What was her name again? Was it Mistress Tibbs?"

"His name was Lord Tibbles, and this is nothing like that! Please, please let Bethany go," said Ebenezer. "Give all the punishments to me." The beast let out a slithery chuckle and hobbled away from Ebenezer. As it hobbled, feathers fell off Claudette's back. "Oh no, I've been waiting for this particular dish for quite some time. It's why I've taken time to season the meal, by buttering her up with cruelty and bitterness," said the beast. "My only regret is that you won't be able to see my triumph in person. We must have a little think about how we can involve you in this wonderful event." The beast hobbled around the attic and had that little think. It stopped hobbling after it was struck by a tremendous idea. The beast