16 The Late-Night Pranking Emporium

The Late-Night Pranking Emporium The beast's scooter zoomed at a whiz-cracking pace. Even on its "medium" setting, Bethany was far quicker than all the cars and motorcycles on the road. She traveled so quickly that the air seemed to bite her skin, and the world around her turned blurry. Bethany arrived at The Late-Night Pranking Emporium about twenty minutes

earlier than expected. Jared Kettlefletch greeted her on the doorstep. "Finally! My little prankster has come home," said Jared, flashing his golden teeth. "I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away for long." The Late-Night Pranking Emporium was not an ordinary joke shop where parents took their children to buy catapults and whoopee cushions. It was something decidedly more sinister. As Bethany was ushered in, she was greeted by an entire shelf of screaming dolls. "Say hello to the bloodcurdling screamers," said Jared Kettlefletch. "Perfect for causing frights in the middle of the night." "They're disgusting," said Bethany. "Thank you kindly," said Jared Kettlefletch. "What horridness are you looking for today?"

Bethany didn't have a specific kind of horridness in mind, so she walked around the shop. She encountered a wall filled with robotic book-destroyers, as well as a collection of booby traps that were designed to do various unpleasant things. Jared Kettlefletch was attentive to his customers, especially ones like Bethany who needed encouragement toward the art of true nastiness. "Have you considered the demonic dream-lolly?" he asked as he led Bethany to a sweet box that looked just like any other. "One lick and your victim will have nightmares for weeks." Bethany shook her head. She needed something nastier than a lolly. "What are those, over there?" asked Bethany. "They look like some kind of robotic

rat." "Robotic rats they are, but kind they are certainly not," said Jared Kettlefletch, leading her over to them. They had red eyes and black, metallic bodies. "These are my latest design of the superstinkrats." "How do they work?" asked Bethany. "First, you load the rats with a stinkpod of your choice. Then, point them at your target, switch it on by the tail, and watch it go," said Jared Kettlefletch. "The rats scramble up the victim's body and spray out a thick pink puff from their nostrils. They have a range of around five hundred feet, so you don't have to be anywhere near the scene of the crime." "What if I wanna be near?" asked Bethany. "What if I wanna see it happen?" Jared Kettlefletch grinned.

"Every set comes with nose pegs and an assorted selection of stinkpods," he said. "You can also set the rats to a general setting, if you want to attack more than one person at a time." Bethany nodded and continued to walk around the shop, where she was shown other cruel concoctions like dung-filled sugar cubes and a windup baby-snatcher. Once she had seen every item in the shop, she poked her head into the back room, where she saw a workstation and a collection of empty stinkpods. "That's where the magic happens. I've just created a delightfully awful blend, which I like to call 'The Fishbone Surprise,'" said Jared Kettlefletch.

"Can I have some empty pods?" said Bethany as her mind worked furiously on a new prank. "I wanna make some of my own odors." "I thought you might. What you did with those objects at the yard sale was genius. You should have seen what that knife tried to do to some of my customers," said Jared Kettlefletch. He laughed so hard, it looked like he might dislodge a tooth. "That wasn't—" "Ah yes, of course, very wise. You didn't do it at all," said Jared Kettlefletch, tapping his nose, as if he were in on a secret. "And if anyone asks, you certainly didn't get the rats from me, eh? We fellow pranksters have to watch each other's backs."