16 The Late-Night Pranking Emporium

The Late-Night Pranking Emporium The beast's scooter zoomed at a whiz-cracking pace. Even on its "medium" setting, Bethany was far quicker than all the cars and motorcycles on the road. She traveled so quickly that the air seemed to bite her skin, and the world around her turned blurry. Bethany arrived at The Late-Night Pranking Emporium about twenty minutes

深夜恶作剧商场那只野兽的摩托车以飞快的速度飞驰而过。 即使在“中等”设置下，宝芬妮的速度也远远快于路上所有的汽车和摩托车。 她走得太快了，空气似乎在咬她的皮肤，她周围的世界变得模糊起来。 大约二十分钟后，宝芬妮来到了深夜恶作剧商场

earlier than expected. Jared Kettlefletch greeted her on the doorstep. "Finally! My little prankster has come home," said Jared, flashing his golden teeth. "I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away for long." The Late-Night Pranking Emporium was not an ordinary joke shop where parents took their children to buy catapults and whoopee cushions. It was something decidedly more sinister. As Bethany was ushered in, she was greeted by an entire shelf of screaming dolls. "Say hello to the bloodcurdling screamers," said Jared Kettlefletch. "Perfect for causing frights in the middle of the night." "They're disgusting," said Bethany. "Thank you kindly," said Jared Kettlefletch. "What horridness are you looking for today?"

比预期要早。杰瑞德·克特莱奇在门口迎接她。 “最后!我的小恶作剧者回来了。”杰瑞德说着，露出了他的金牙。 “我就知道你不能离开太久。” 深夜恶作剧商场不是一家普通的笑话商店，父母带着孩子去那里买弹射器和放屁垫。 这显然是更险恶的东西。 当宝芬妮被领进来时，迎接她的是一整架尖叫的娃娃。 “跟那些令人毛骨悚然的尖叫者打个招呼吧。”杰瑞德·克特莱奇说。 “非常适合在半夜制造恐慌。” “它们真恶心，”宝芬妮说。 “谢谢你。”杰瑞德·克特莱奇说。 “你今天想看什么恐怖的东西？”

Bethany didn't have a specific kind of horridness in mind, so she walked around the shop. She encountered a wall filled with robotic book-destroyers, as well as a collection of booby traps that were designed to do various unpleasant things. Jared Kettlefletch was attentive to his customers, especially ones like Bethany who needed encouragement toward the art of true nastiness. "Have you considered the demonic dream-lolly?" he asked as he led Bethany to a sweet box that looked just like any other. "One lick and your victim will have nightmares for weeks." Bethany shook her head. She needed something nastier than a lolly. "What are those, over there?" asked Bethany. "They look like some kind of robotic

宝芬妮心里并没有特别的恐惧，所以她在店里转了一圈。 她遇到了一堵满是机器人图书毁灭者的墙，以及一堆设计用来做各种不愉快事情的饵雷。 贾里德·凯特莱奇对他的顾客很体贴，尤其是像宝芬妮这样需要鼓励才能学会真正下流的艺术的顾客。 “你考虑过恶魔梦幻棒棒糖吗？”他边问边把宝芬妮领到一个看起来和其他糖果没什么两样的糖果盒前。 “只要舔一下，你的受害者就会做几个星期的噩梦。” 宝芬妮摇了摇头。她需要比棒棒糖更恶心的东西。 “那边是什么？”伯大尼问。 “它们看起来像某种机器人

rat." "Robotic rats they are, but kind they are certainly not," said Jared Kettlefletch, leading her over to them. They had red eyes and black, metallic bodies. "These are my latest design of the superstinkrats." "How do they work?" asked Bethany. "First, you load the rats with a stinkpod of your choice. Then, point them at your target, switch it on by the tail, and watch it go," said Jared Kettlefletch. "The rats scramble up the victim's body and spray out a thick pink puff from their nostrils. They have a range of around five hundred feet, so you don't have to be anywhere near the scene of the crime." "What if I wanna be near?" asked Bethany. "What if I wanna see it happen?" Jared Kettlefletch grinned.

老鼠。”“它们是机器老鼠，但它们肯定不善良。”杰瑞德·克特莱奇说着，把她领了过去。 他们有红色的眼睛和黑色的金属身体。 “这是我最新设计的超级臭老鼠。” “它们是怎么工作的？”宝芬妮问。 “首先，你给老鼠装上你选择的臭虫荚。 然后，把它们对准你的目标，抓住它的尾巴，看着它飞。”贾里德·克特莱奇说。 老鼠爬上受害者的身体，从鼻孔喷出厚厚的粉红色的烟雾。 它们的探测范围在500英尺左右，所以你不必靠近犯罪现场。” “如果我想靠近呢？”宝芬妮问。 “如果我想看到它发生呢？”杰瑞德·克特莱奇咧嘴一笑。

"Every set comes with nose pegs and an assorted selection of stinkpods," he said. "You can also set the rats to a general setting, if you want to attack more than one person at a time." Bethany nodded and continued to walk around the shop, where she was shown other cruel concoctions like dung-filled sugar cubes and a windup baby-snatcher. Once she had seen every item in the shop, she poked her head into the back room, where she saw a workstation and a collection of empty stinkpods. "That's where the magic happens. I've just created a delightfully awful blend, which I like to call 'The Fishbone Surprise,'" said Jared Kettlefletch.

“每一套都配有鼻架和各种各样的臭豆荚，”他说。 “如果你想一次攻击不止一个人，你也可以将老鼠设置为一般设置。” 贝瑟尼点点头，继续在商店里走来走去，在那里她看到了其他残忍的混合物，比如装满粪便的方糖和一个windup婴儿掠夺器。 当她看完店里的每一件商品后，她把头伸到后面的房间里，在那里她看到了一个工作站和一堆空的臭气熏天的豆荚。 “这就是奇迹发生的地方。 我刚刚创造了一种令人愉快的可怕的混合，我喜欢把它叫做‘鱼骨惊喜’，”贾里德·克特莱奇说。

"Can I have some empty pods?" said Bethany as her mind worked furiously on a new prank. "I wanna make some of my own odors." "I thought you might. What you did with those objects at the yard sale was genius. You should have seen what that knife tried to do to some of my customers," said Jared Kettlefletch. He laughed so hard, it looked like he might dislodge a tooth. "That wasn't—" "Ah yes, of course, very wise. You didn't do it at all," said Jared Kettlefletch, tapping his nose, as if he were in on a secret. "And if anyone asks, you certainly didn't get the rats from me, eh? We fellow pranksters have to watch each other's backs."

“能给我一些空豆荚吗？”宝芬妮说，她正在疯狂地想一个新的恶作剧。 “我想做一些自己的气味。” “我想你会的。你在庭院拍卖会上处理那些东西的方法真是天才。 你应该看看那把刀对我的一些顾客做了什么。”贾里德·凯特尔莱奇说。 他笑得那么厉害，笑得好像要拔掉一颗牙似的。 “那不是——”“啊，是的，当然，很明智。 你根本没干。”杰瑞德·克特莱奇说着，拍了拍鼻子，好像知道了什么秘密似的。 “如果有人问起，你肯定不是从我这里得到老鼠的，嗯？” 我们这些爱恶作剧的人必须互相提防。”