1 The Beastly Beginning

The Beastly Beginning When Ebenezer Tweezer was eleven years old, the world was much younger. Instead of cars on the streets, there were horses and carriages. In place of phones and computers, people would communicate via letters and hopeful shouting. There was no such thing as photographs, and so if you were the sort of person who liked to capture the moment whenever you happened to be wearing a nice outfit or eating

当埃比尼泽·特威泽十一岁的时候，世界要年轻得多。 街上没有汽车，取而代之的是马匹和马车。 人们将通过信件和充满希望的呼喊来代替电话和电脑。 当时没有照片这种东西，所以如果你是那种喜欢在你碰巧穿着漂亮衣服或吃东西的时候捕捉瞬间的人

a pretty meal, you would have to travel around with your own personal portrait artist. Electricity was nothing more than a silly word back then, which meant that you could only read books past bedtime if you had an extensive collection of candles. In short, it was a pretty rotten time to be alive. And for poor Ebenezer, it was especially rotten, because he was a deeply unpopular child. It's hard to say exactly what made him so unpopular. Perhaps it was because he had a smug-looking face, or it might have had something to do with the fact that his outfits were always rather extravagant—filled with ruffles and colorful patterns. Whatever the reason, it was clear that the other children did not care for young

一顿美餐，你得带着自己的私人肖像画家到处旅行。 在那个年代，“电”只不过是一个愚蠢的词，这意味着只有在你有大量蜡烛的情况下，你才能在睡觉前看书。 简而言之，那是一个非常糟糕的时代。 对于可怜的埃比尼泽来说，这尤其糟糕，因为他是一个非常不受欢迎的孩子。 很难说到底是什么让他如此不受欢迎。 也许是因为他有一张沾沾自喜的脸，也可能是因为他的衣服总是相当奢侈，满是褶边和五颜六色的图案。 不管原因是什么，很明显，其他孩子并不关心年轻人

Ebenezer. He was never invited to their feasts, jester jousts, or theater trips, but this didn't deter him from arriving uninvited. In fact, Ebenezer would spend most afternoons lurking outside the Muddlington Pie Shoppe because he knew that, from time to time, the children would gather there and challenge each other to impromptu pasty-eating competitions. More often than not, though, Ebenezer would spend entire days outside the pie shop, and no children would arrive. Ebenezer would use the time to practice his conversation skills by talking to the wall. He'd say things like: "Isn't it a fine day we're having?" Or:

埃比尼泽。他从来没有被邀请参加他们的宴会，小丑比武，或剧院旅行，但这并没有阻止他不请自来。 事实上，埃比尼泽大部分下午都会在马德灵顿馅饼店外面潜伏，因为他知道，孩子们时不时会聚集在那里，即兴地互相挑战吃馅饼的比赛。 不过，埃比尼泽经常在馅饼店外面呆上一整天，也没有孩子来。 埃比尼泽会利用这段时间对着墙说话来练习他的谈话技巧。 他会说：“今天天气真好，不是吗？”或者:

"Have you seen that new comedy by Willy Whatshisname? No, I didn't get any of the jokes either." And: "Such a rotter about that plague, isn't it?" Invariably, the wall didn't have anything to say. But Ebenezer didn't mind, because he saw all these one-sided chats as terribly good warm-ups for the real thing. He was sure that if he could only strike upon the right topic of conversation, or wear the right number of ruffles on his shirt, then the other children would let him join in with their pasty-filled merriment. On one such day, when he was lurking outside the pie shop, Ebenezer became aware of a commotion taking place in the square. The town crier had given up his usual

“你看过威利·某某的新喜剧吗？” 不，我也没听懂他的笑话。” 还有：“这场瘟疫真是个坏东西，不是吗？”那堵墙总是一言不发。 但埃比尼泽并不介意，因为他认为所有这些单方面的谈话都是为真正的谈话做的非常好的热身。 他相信，只要他能找到合适的话题，或者在衬衫上戴上合适数量的褶边，其他孩子就会让他加入到他们的欢乐中来。 有一天，当埃比尼泽潜伏在馅饼店外面时，他注意到广场上正在发生骚乱。 镇上的传话人已经不再像往常那样了