5 The Bethany

The Bethany You want to adopt Bethany?!" asked Miss Fizzlewick. They were back in her office. Miss Fizzlewick had sent all the children to their rooms, except Bethany, who was told to wait outside. "Yes, please," said Ebenezer. "Is that going to be a problem?"

"It will probably turn into a problem for you," said Miss Fizzlewick, pursing her lips. She told Ebenezer about how Bethany had arrived at the orphanage after her parents had died in a fire, and she warned him that Bethany had been nothing but trouble ever since. Bethany had pulled every prank and trick imaginable since she had been at the orphanage. She had squirted superglue on toilet seats so that anyone who sat on one would be trapped in the bathroom for days, she had filled the sugar pot with chili powder to ruin Miss Fizzlewick's cups of tea, and she had left banana peels on every staircase, which led to nasty falls for many of the children.

Miss Fizzlewick explained that it wasn't just the naughtiness that was an issue, it was the joy that Bethany took in doing horrible things. Unlike most children, Bethany didn't show any remorse after she had been told off. She seemed to be very proud of her behavior. "I've never met any girl so determined to be unladylike," said Miss Fizzlewick. "You'll have a battle on your hands if you take her in." "I'm confident it's a battle I can win," said Ebenezer. "Don't be. There was another woman like you who came here a few years ago. She thought she knew everything about children, and that she could get the better of Bethany." "What happened to her?" "She took Bethany home, but brought her back three days later after Bethany threw all

of the woman's china dolls into the washing machine." Ebenezer was happy to hear this. He was sure that he had finally found the perfect child to feed to the beast. "Bethany has no manners. She never wears any of the pretty dresses that are laid out for her, and she eats her food like a barnyard animal," said Miss Fizzlewick. "I want you to think very carefully before taking her into your home." Ebenezer thought carefully. This took all of three seconds. "I still want Bethany," he said. "And I can promise you that I will never bring her back." And so it was settled. Miss Fizzlewick told Bethany that she had a new home, and that she was to collect her things at once. By the

time Ebenezer had finished signing all the necessary forms, Bethany was waiting outside with a box containing a catapult, a toothbrush, a whoopee cushion, a pile of clothes, a crumpled photograph, the last two worms, and a stack of comics. There was a twinkle of mischief in Bethany's eyes as she looked at Ebenezer. She was sizing up her latest target and thinking of all the ways that she might go about tormenting him. "Last chance, Mr. Tweezer. Are you absolutely sure about this?" asked Miss Fizzlewick, looking doubtful that Bethany wouldn't soon be back in the orphanage. "Positive," answered Ebenezer. "Goodbye." Ebenezer led Bethany to his car, while whistling a happy tune.

"You're a rubbish whistler. You sound like a granny trying to spit out a cough drop," said Bethany, as she climbed into the back seat. In response, Ebenezer continued to whistle—louder and with more enthusiasm than before. He started the engine. He was just pulling out of the orphanage when he saw Geoffrey running toward the car, shouting, "Wait!", "Stop!", and "Oh, bother, please don't go!" "Drive!" Bethany shouted at Ebenezer. "Don't just sit there, you nitwit, let's go!"