19 The End of Ebenezer

The End of Ebenezer Ebenezer woke up the next morning feeling pretty sorry for himself. He had begged Bethany to leave, but she wasn't having any of it. Every time he attempted reasoning with her, she just folded her arms and blew raspberries at him. Ebenezer was also feeling sorry for himself because he was looking and feeling like someone who should have died a few

埃比尼泽的结局埃比尼泽第二天早上醒来，感到非常难过。 他恳求宝芬妮离开，但她不同意。 每次他想跟她讲道理时，她就抱起双臂朝他吹覆盆子。 埃比尼泽也为自己感到难过，因为他看起来和感觉就像一个本该死去的人

centuries ago. His limbs were aching, his eyes were barely working (even with the monocle pushed right in his eye), and there wasn't a part of his body that wasn't infested with wrinkles. He would have happily spent the day in bed, groaning and feeling sad, but Bethany had other ideas. She burst into the room with a saucepan and started whacking it with a wooden spoon. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" she shouted. "I'm already awake. Leave me alone," he groaned. Bethany did no such thing. She started jumping on the bed and continued to whack away at the pan. With great effort, and little enthusiasm, Ebenezer sat up. "What is it?" he asked.

几个世纪前。他的四肢疼痛，他的眼睛几乎不能工作（即使他的单片眼镜被塞进了他的眼睛），他身体的每一部分都布满了皱纹。 他会在床上快乐地度过一天，呻吟着，感到悲伤，但贝瑟妮有其他的想法。 她拿着一只平底锅冲进房间，开始用木勺敲打它。 “醒醒，醒醒，醒醒！”她喊道。 “我已经醒了。别烦我。”他呻吟道。 宝芬妮没有这么做 她开始在床上跳来跳去，继续敲打着锅。 埃比尼泽费了很大的劲，却毫无热情地坐了起来。 “什么事？”他问。

"I wanna save your life. I stayed awake all last night, and I have some ideas," said Bethany. She fished in her pocket and brought out a crumpled piece of paper. "Dear Geoffrey…," she began, before realizing that she had the wrong one. She fished out another sheet from her back pocket. "Idea number one—let's take you to the hospital." "Doctors can't help me, only magical potions can. People aren't meant to live to 511, you know," answered Ebenezer. "Also, I don't like hospitals or medical equipment." "Fine. Idea number two—why don't we offer the beast something to eat instead of me?" "Already tried that," said Ebenezer. "And it's only interested in you, I'm afraid."

“我想救你的命。我昨晚一夜没睡，我有一些想法，”宝芬妮说。 她在口袋里摸了摸，拿出一张皱巴巴的纸。 “亲爱的杰弗里……”她开始说，然后意识到她拿错了。 她从后口袋里掏出另一张纸。 “第一个主意——我们带你去医院。” “医生帮不了我，只有魔药才能。 你知道，人不是注定要活到511岁的，”埃比尼泽回答说。 “还有，我不喜欢医院和医疗设备。” “很好。主意二——为什么我们不给野兽吃点东西代替我呢？”“我已经试过了，”埃比尼泽说。 “恐怕它只对你感兴趣。”

"Humph. Well, it doesn't matter because my third and final idea is an awesome one anyway. Why don't we try and force the beast into giving you your potion?" Ebenezer sighed. He looked at Bethany and wondered how she planned on overpowering a magical, all-consuming creature. "Here's what I'm thinking," she said. "We go to the orphanage and borrow some of the children. There are ones like me there— proper naughty ones who aren't afraid of a fight. Then, if you buy us all some catapults and rotten apples, we storm upstairs and attack the beast until it gives you what you need. What do you think?" "Utter rubbish. Doesn't work on any level," said Ebenezer. "The beast can't be forced to do anything.

“哼。好吧，没关系，因为我的第三个也是最后一个想法是一个很棒的想法。 我们为什么不试着强迫那头野兽给你喝药水呢？”埃比尼泽叹了口气。 他看着宝芬妮，想知道她是怎么打算打败一个神奇的、吞噬一切的生物的。 “我是这么想的，”她说。 “我们去孤儿院借一些孩子。 那里有像我这样的人——顽皮的人，不怕打架。 然后，如果你给我们买些弹弓和烂苹果，我们就冲上楼攻击野兽，直到它满足你的要求。 你觉得怎么样？”“彻底的垃圾。 在任何层面上都行不通，”埃比尼泽说。 “野兽不能被强迫做任何事。

"Okay, I've just thought of a totally wicked fourth idea," she began. "Great to know, but I'm not quite sure that I want to spend my last day on earth hearing about ideas that will never work. Let's go downstairs." This was easier said than done. It took about twenty minutes for Ebenezer to stand up from the bed, and another good half an hour or so to crawl into the bathroom. By the time he got there, he didn't have the energy to brush his teeth, so Bethany grabbed the toothpaste from the sink and squirted some into his mouth.

“好吧，我刚刚想到了第四个绝妙的主意，”她开始说。 “很高兴知道，但我不太确定我是否想在地球上的最后一天听那些永远行不通的想法。 我们下楼去吧。”这说起来容易做起来难。 埃比尼泽花了大约二十分钟才从床上站起来，又花了半个多小时才爬进浴室。 当他到那里的时候，他已经没有力气刷牙了，所以贝瑟妮从水槽里抓起牙膏，往他嘴里喷了一些。

Ebenezer continued to crawl, and with Bethany's help, they made it downstairs. He was exhausted by the time they reached the kitchen. "Whatcha wanna eat?" asked Bethany. This was a surprisingly difficult question to answer. It's a strange thing to choose what you want to eat for your last-ever breakfast on the planet, and Ebenezer was filled with questions. Did he want porridge? Would a

埃比尼泽继续爬，在宝芬妮的帮助下，他们下了楼。 当他们到达厨房时，他已经筋疲力尽了。 “你想吃什么？”宝芬妮问。 这是一个难以回答的问题。 在这个星球上选择最后一顿早餐吃什么是一件奇怪的事情，埃比尼泽心中充满了疑问。 他想喝粥吗？将一个