1 The Purple Parrot

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The Purple Parrot Ebenezer Tweezer was a terrible man with a wonderful life. He never went hungry because all his fridges were piled with food. He never struggled to understand long words, like confibularity or pinickleruff, because he very rarely read books. There were no children or friends in his life, so he was never troubled by unpleasant noises or unwanted conversations. There were also no parties or celebrations for him to attend, so he was never hot and bothered about what he should wear.

Ebenezer Tweezer didn't even have to worry about death. At the time this story begins, he was within a week of his 512th birthday, and yet, if you were to have bumped into him on the street, you would have thought him to be a young man—certainly no more than twenty years old. You might also have thought that he was quite handsome. He had short golden hair, a small nose, a soft mouth, and a pair of eyes which dazzled like diamonds in the moonlight. There was also a wonderful look of innocence about him. Sadly, looks can be deceiving. You see, at the time when this story begins, Ebenezer was about to do a very bad thing. All Ebenezer did at first was walk into a bird shop. He then patiently waited behind an

impatient person at the till. The impatient person was a small, bony girl who was wearing a backpack with two stickers on it. One read BETHANY and the other BOG OFF! "I wanna pet!" said the girl to the large, pleasant bird-keeper. "What sort were you looking for?" he asked in return. "A frog! Or a panther! Ooh, or a polar bear!" "'Fraid you're in the wrong place. The polar bear and panther shop is down the road, and the frog market is only open on Wednesdays. We can do you a bird, but not much else," explained the bird-keeper. The girl reached into her backpack and pulled out a flip-flop, a half-eaten cookie, two seashells, and a ruler that said PROPERTY OF

GEOFFREY on it. She laid out all the items on the counter.

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