5 If Only

CHAPTER 5 IF ONLY... 'Well, if we're going to have this book ready to read to the bears, we'd better get started,' says Terry. 'I know!' I say (moan). 'But my tooth is still killing me. I hope the money-making machine made enough money for us to buy the Joke Writer 2000TM.'

第五章如果……“好吧，如果我们要准备好这本书读给熊听，我们最好现在就开始，”特里说。 “我知道!”我说（呻吟）。“但我的牙还是疼得要命。 我希望这台赚钱机器能赚到足够的钱，让我们买‘Joke Writer 2000TM’。”

I pick up a handful of sticky money and start counting. 'One... five... two... (groan)' 'Andy?' says Terry. 'Shush,' I say, 'I'm trying to concentrate. Seven five... nine... (moan)' Q Why didn't the cannibals eat the clown? A Because he tasted funny.

我拿起一把钞票开始数。 “一个…五个。两个……(呻吟)“安迪?特里说。 “嘘，”我说，“我在努力集中注意力。 七十五年……九个。（呻吟）为什么食人族不吃小丑？ A因为他尝起来怪怪的。

'Um, Andy?' 'Not now, Terry. Ten... eleventeen—' 'ANDY!!!' shouts Terry. 'Stop interrupting me!' I say. 'You've made me lose my place! I'm going to have to start all over again!' 'Sorry,' says Terry. 'But that's what I wanted to talk to you about. The readers and I were wondering if you could count a bit faster... and in the right order.'

“嗯,安迪?“现在不行，特里。” 十个。eleventeen——“安迪! !特里喊道。 “别打断我！”我说。 “你让我失去了位置！”我得从头再来！“对不起，”特里说。 “可这正是我想跟你谈的。 我和读者想知道你能不能数得快一点…… 而且要按正确的顺序。”

'I'm counting as fast—and as well—as I can!' I say. 'But it's taking forever,' says Terry. 'I think you might need a little help. I'm going to the stupid-hat level— I'll be right back.' Q What do penguins wear on their heads? A Ice caps.

“我在尽可能快地数，而且数得尽可能准确！”我说。 “但这要花很长时间，”特里说。 “我想你可能需要一点帮助。 我要去那一层——我马上就回来。”问企鹅头上戴什么？ A冰帽。

A few minutes later Terry returns with a stupid-looking hat, which he puts on my head. 'I don't want to wear this stupid hat,' I say. 'I know it looks stupid,' says Terry, 'but it will make you smart: it's a stupid-looking, super-fast counting hat.' 'Well, in that case,' I say, 'let the super-fast counting begin!'

几分钟后，特里拿着一顶傻乎乎的帽子回来了，他给我戴上了帽子。 “我不想戴这顶蠢帽子，”我说。 “我知道它看起来很蠢，”特里说，“但它会让你聪明起来：这是一顶看起来很蠢、数数速度超快的帽子。”“好吧，那样的话，”我说，“让我们开始超快的数数吧！”

Q Why was six afraid of seven? A Because seven ate nine.

问：为什么六害怕七？ A因为七吃了九。