3 BILL THE POSTMAN’S STORY

CHAPTER 3 BILL THE POSTMAN'S STORY Terry and I look at each other in horror. 'Do you see who I see?' says Terry. 'Yes!' I say. 'It's Bill.' 'But it can't be!' says Terry. 'In the last book we saw his skeleton in the Maze of Doom remember?'

'Yes, of course I remember!' I whisper. 'Which means that it can't be Bill down there… It must be a zombie!' 'Delivery!' calls the zombie. 'It sounds like Bill,' says Terry. 'That's part of its evil plan,' I say. 'What evil plan?' says Terry. 'To deliver our mail and then eat our brains!' I say. 'Don't you know anything about zombies?' 'Andy?' calls the zombie. 'Terry? Anyone home?' 'He knows our names!' says Terry. 'It must be Bill.' 'Yeah,' I say, 'Bill the ZOMBIE!'

'Come on, you two chuckleheads,' says the zombie. 'I can hear you up there. I've got a package for you.' 'Can you leave it at the door?' I say. 'We're kind of busy.' 'Afraid not,' says the zombie. 'It's a special delivery from Switches'R'Us… I'm going to need you to sign for it.' 'We need that switch, Andy,' whispers Terry. 'Yeah, and we also need our brains,' I whisper back. 'I'm not a zombie, you know,' calls the zombie. 'Did you hear that, Andy?' says Terry. 'He says he's not a zombie.' 'That's exactly the sort of thing a zombie would say,' I tell him. 'We can't risk it.' 'All right, then,' calls Bill. 'If you won't come down, then I'm coming up!'

'Oh no!' I yell. 'It's a zombie attack! Grab the flame-throwers, Terry!' 'What flame-throwers?' 'The ones you were supposed to make to protect us against zombie attack!' 'Oh, those flame-throwers,' says Terry. 'I didn't get around to it. I was too busy working on the 39th level.' 'They won't be necessary,' says Bill as he climbs onto our level. 'I'm not a zombie. I'm very much alive.' 'But we thought you were dead,' says Terry. Bill grins. 'So did I when I read The 26-Storey Treehouse and saw that picture of a skeleton wearing my postman's cap. I was very sad for a while until I

realised that if I was feeling sad, then I must still be alive—so it couldn't have been me in the picture after all!' 'But if it wasn't you,' says Terry, 'then who was it?' 'Well, it's a bit of a long story,' says Bill, 'and as you know, long stories take longer to tell than short stories, which—' 'Yes, we know!' I say. 'Can you make it a short long story?' 'Sure,' says Bill, beginning to tell his short long story. 'Well, you may not know this but a postman's life is not an easy one. We get chased by dogs…

attacked by birds… and spat at by camels.