5 The Return of Professor Stupido

The Return of Professor Stupido

斯图普多教授的归来

"Hey, Andy," said Terry, "don't look now, but there's a huge spider up there!" Of course I looked, then immediately wished I'd taken Terry's advice and not looked, because I saw the biggest, ugliest, hairiest spider I'd ever seen. "Ugh!" I said. "I wish spiders had never been invented. Where's Professor Stupido when you need him?"

“嘿，安迪，”特里说，“现在不要看，那里有一只大蜘蛛！”当然，我看了看，然后立刻后悔没有听从特里的建议去看，因为我看到了我所见过的最大、最丑、最多毛的蜘蛛。 “哎!”我说。“我希望蜘蛛从来没有被发明过。 你们需要斯图普多教授的时候，他在哪儿？”

We turned to see a ridiculous-looking man wearing striped pants, a checked jacket, and a small black bow tie: a man I had hoped never to see again. (You've heard of inventors who invent things?

我们转过身来，看到一个长相滑稽的男人，穿着条纹裤，格子夹克，打着黑色领结：我曾希望再也见不到他。 (你听说过发明东西的发明家吗？

Well, Professor Stupido is an un-inventor, with the power to un-invent things simply by pointing at them and saying a little rhyme.) "Professor Stupido?!" I said. "But that's impossible! We tricked you into un-inventing yourself!" "Yes, that's correct," he said. "You did. And a pretty good trick it was, too. But I am such a brilliant un-inventor that I was able to un-invent my own un- invention!" "That doesn't make any sense," said Terry. "How could you un-invent your own un-invention if you no longer existed to un-invent it?" "I admit I don't fully understand it myself," said Professor Stupido. "And yet, here I am—at your service. Now, what would you like me to un-invent for you?" "Well, since you're here, we'd like you to un-invent spiders, please," said Terry.

嗯，斯图普多教授是一个没有发明能力的人，他有能力只需要指着东西说一段押韵就能让它们消失。)“教授Stupido ? !”我说。 “但那是不可能的！”我们骗了你，让你重新发明了自己！”“是的，没错，”他说。 “你所做的。这也是一个很不错的把戏。 但我是一个如此聪明的非发明家，以至于我能够取消我自己的非发明！”“这说不通啊，”特里说。 “如果你不再存在，你怎么能取消自己的‘取消发明’呢？”“我承认我自己也不完全明白。”斯图普多教授说。 “可是，我在这儿，随时为您效劳。 现在，你想让我为你取消什么发明？”“好吧，既然你来了，我们想请你取消蜘蛛的发明，”特里说。

"With pleasure," said Professor Stupido, focusing his intense gaze on the spider. He raised his hand to point at the spider, but before he could transmit his deadly un-inventing power, I pushed his hand down. "Wait!" I said. "What did you do that for?" said Professor Stupido, annoyed. "I was just about to make the world a safer and much more pleasant place by un-inventing spiders!" "Maybe the world would be a better place without

“很乐意。”斯图普多教授说，把他紧张的目光集中在蜘蛛身上。 他举起手来指着那只蜘蛛，但还没等他释放出致命的毁灭力量，我就把他的手按下去了。 “等等!”我说。“你为什么要那样做？”斯图普多教授生气地说。 “我正要消灭蜘蛛，让世界变得更安全、更愉快呢！”“也许没有它，这个世界会更好。

spiders," I said. "But then again, maybe it wouldn't." "How could a world in which spiders exist be better than a world in which they don't?" said Professor Stupido. "Yeah," said Terry. "Explain that, Andy!" "Well," I said, "I don't like spiders any more than you do, but they do perform an important service by eating bugs like mosquitoes and flies. If spiders weren't around to eat the bugs, then the treehouse— and the world—might be a much more unpleasant place." "That's a good point," said Terry. "Yes," said Professor Stupido. "But I have a much better solution: I'll not only un-invent spiders; I'll un- invent bugs as well! Stand back!"

蜘蛛，”我说。“但话又说回来，也许不会。” “一个有蜘蛛的世界怎么会比一个没有蜘蛛的世界好呢？”斯图普多教授说。 “是的，”特里说。“解释一下，安迪！”“嗯，”我说，“我和你一样不喜欢蜘蛛，但它们确实有重要的作用，它们吃蚊子和苍蝇之类的虫子。 如果没有蜘蛛来吃虫子，那么树屋——以及世界——可能是一个更令人不快的地方。” “说得好，”特里说。 “是的。”斯图普多教授说。 “但我有一个更好的解决办法：我不仅要取消蜘蛛的发明；我也会去发明虫子！向后站!”