6 The Not-Very-Christmassy Snowman

CHAPTER 6 THE NOT-VERY-CHRISTMASSY SNOWMAN Normally I like Christmas snowmen, but not this one —he's not very Christmassy at all. 'Nice joint you've got here,' says the snowman, swivelling his head around. 'Definitely better than where I come from. I think I'm going to like it here. Now get lost!'

通常我喜欢圣诞节的雪人，但这个雪人不喜欢——他一点也不像圣诞节的雪人。 “你这儿的大麻棒极了，”雪人说着，转了转脑袋。 “肯定比我来的地方好。 我想我会喜欢这里的。 现在滚开！”

'What do you mean "get lost"?' I say. 'We live here.' 'You used to live here,' says the snowman. 'But it's my treehouse now.' 'No, it's not,' says Terry. 'It's our treehouse!' 'Yours?' says the snowman. 'That's a laugh. It doesn't belong to you. You made it out of the wood you stole from the wreck of Captain Woodenhead's pirate ship. I've read your books—I know all about you.'

“你说‘滚开’是什么意思？”我说。 “我们住在这里。“你以前住在这里，”雪人说。 “但现在它是我的树屋了。“不，不是，”特里说。 “是我们的树屋！”“你的吗?雪人说。 “真好笑。它不属于你。 你用从伍登黑德船长海盗船残骸上偷来的木头做的。 我读过你的书——我知道你的一切。”

'How could you possibly have read our books?' I say. 'We only just made you.' The snowman smiles with its jelly-snake mouth and says, 'My grandmother used to read them to me when I was just a little snowboy.

“你怎么可能读过我们的书呢？”我说。 “我们刚刚造了你。”雪人咧着嘴笑着说：“当我还是个小雪人的时候，我奶奶经常给我读这些故事。”

'That's why I wanted to come here. Your treehouse looked like a lot more fun than standing around freezing my base off in Antarctica. 'So I packed myself in a box and mailed myself here. I knew you two chuckleheads wouldn't be able to resist making a snowman out of a box of snow. And so, here I am!

“这就是我来这里的原因。 你的树屋看起来比站在南极洲冻住我的基地好玩多了。 “所以我把自己装进一个盒子里，寄到了这里。 我就知道你们两个笨蛋会忍不住用一盒雪堆雪人的。 所以，我在这里！

'Don't forget to shut the door on your way out,' he says. 'Actually, on second thoughts, leave it open. It's quite warm in here. I think it's all those Christmas lights you've hung everywhere. Where's the off switch?' 'There is no off switch,' I say. 'It's Christmas, and if you don't like it, you can go right back to Antarctica— in fact, we'll help you. Terry, let's pack this snowman into his box and send him home.'

他说，出去的时候别忘了关门。 “实际上，我重新考虑了一下，还是开着吧。 这里很暖和。我想是因为你挂的那些圣诞彩灯吧。 开关在哪里？“没有开关，”我说。 “现在是圣诞节，如果你不喜欢，你可以直接回南极洲去——事实上，我们会帮助你的。” 特里，让我们把这个雪人装进他的盒子里，送他回家吧。”

'Keep your hot little hands off me,' says the snowman, 'or I'll throw my head at you!' 'You don't scare me!' I say, advancing towards him. 'We'll see about that!' snarls the snowman. He reaches up with his twiggy arms, lifts his head off his body…

“把你那滚烫的小手拿开，”雪人说，“不然我就用头砸你！”“你吓不倒我！”我说着，向他走去。 “我们走着瞧吧！”雪人咆哮道。 他用纤细的手臂伸了起来，把头从身体上抬了起来……