6 The Not-Very-Christmassy Snowman

CHAPTER 6 THE NOT-VERY-CHRISTMASSY SNOWMAN Normally I like Christmas snowmen, but not this one —he's not very Christmassy at all. 'Nice joint you've got here,' says the snowman, swivelling his head around. 'Definitely better than where I come from. I think I'm going to like it here. Now get lost!'

'What do you mean "get lost"?' I say. 'We live here.' 'You used to live here,' says the snowman. 'But it's my treehouse now.' 'No, it's not,' says Terry. 'It's our treehouse!' 'Yours?' says the snowman. 'That's a laugh. It doesn't belong to you. You made it out of the wood you stole from the wreck of Captain Woodenhead's pirate ship. I've read your books—I know all about you.'

'How could you possibly have read our books?' I say. 'We only just made you.' The snowman smiles with its jelly-snake mouth and says, 'My grandmother used to read them to me when I was just a little snowboy.

'That's why I wanted to come here. Your treehouse looked like a lot more fun than standing around freezing my base off in Antarctica. 'So I packed myself in a box and mailed myself here. I knew you two chuckleheads wouldn't be able to resist making a snowman out of a box of snow. And so, here I am!

'Don't forget to shut the door on your way out,' he says. 'Actually, on second thoughts, leave it open. It's quite warm in here. I think it's all those Christmas lights you've hung everywhere. Where's the off switch?' 'There is no off switch,' I say. 'It's Christmas, and if you don't like it, you can go right back to Antarctica— in fact, we'll help you. Terry, let's pack this snowman into his box and send him home.'

'Keep your hot little hands off me,' says the snowman, 'or I'll throw my head at you!' 'You don't scare me!' I say, advancing towards him. 'We'll see about that!' snarls the snowman. He reaches up with his twiggy arms, lifts his head off his body…