4 Pents, Paxes and Pepper Grinders

CHAPTER 4 PENTS, PAXES AND PEPPER GRINDERS 'Are we there yet?' asks Terry for the fifty thousandth time, just as we arrive at the campsite. 'We sure are,' I say, getting out and taking a deep breath. 'Smell that fresh air!'

CLICK! Jimmy takes a photo of us breathing the fresh air. 'Do you like fresh air?' asks Wanda, her pen poised above her notebook. 'Of course!' I say. 'Doesn't everybody?'

'I'm the one doing the interview, so I'll ask the questions if you don't mind,' she replies. 'Okay,' I say. Although I do mind. She's been asking questions and writing in her notebook the whole way here. Edward and Mary climb out of their trailer. 'Oh, it's lovely,' says Mary, looking around. 'What's that big, shiny, watery thing?'

'That's a lake,' I say. 'Oh, it's lovely,' says Mary. 'Isn't it lovely, Edward?' 'Yes, it is,' he agrees, but he's not even looking at the lake—he's staring at Mary. 'What exactly happens on a camping holiday?' says Fancy Fish. 'I can't see a luxury hotel anywhere.' 'That's because there isn't one,' I explain. 'Camping holidays are all about putting up your own shelter, doing your own cooking and making your own fun.'

'But we didn't bring any of that stuff,' says Pinchy. 'You didn't tell us to.' 'Don't worry,' I say. 'You can share ours. Terry has packed everything we need.' 'Yes,' says Terry. 'It's all right here.' 'Okay,' I say. 'First things first. Let's get the tent set up.' 'Tent?' says Terry. 'Yes, the tent. You did pack it, didn't you?' 'No,' says Terry. 'But I specifically asked if you'd packed the tent!' I

say. 'Oh!' says Terry. 'I thought you said, "Have you tacked the pent?"' 'But that doesn't make any sense!' I say. 'I know,' says Terry. 'That's what I thought. So I packed one of these instead.' He pulls a really big pepper grinder out of the back of the truck.