Chapter 21

21 HIGH UP ON THE BOOM PLATFORM, EDISON STAMPS HIS FEET impatiently. "Come on, you mechanical meatheads! Get your tin butts over there! I want to see some antimatter fireworks!" "Eeeee-eeee-eee! Ooooo-oooo-ooo!" screams Mr. Chimp, hopping and flapping his arms and kind of losing it, going full chimp for a few wild seconds.

Klink rolls, Klank clomps reluctantly toward their own annihilation. "I do not want to be antimatter fireworks," whines Klank. "I told you that humans were unstable thinkers," says Klink. "What a waste of perfect intelligence—me!" The antimatter beam crackles exactly one meter away from the trapped Watson and Frank. Red lights flash. The siren whoops. As soon as Klink and Klank are close enough to hear him, Frank yells over the deafening siren, "Klank!" "What?" "You like to hug, yes?" "Yes." "And now you can't hear anything that human on the boom loader says, can you?" "No."

The antimatter beam now smokes the wall one-half meter away. Watson covers his eyes. "Good! So go give that big pink squirt gun the biggest, strongest hug you possibly can. That is a human order!" Klank thinks for one long, precious second. Must not let a human be injured. Must obey orders by humans. Frank Einstein orders to hug pink gun. Frank Einstein is human. Hugging gun will not harm a human. T. Edison can't hear what is happening down below. But he sees the robots stop. And he knows Einstein is somehow messing with his plans. Klank's whole metal head lights up with the answer. "Hug!!!" He charges the Edison Antimatter Squirt Gun at full, floor-pounding, Klank-stomping speed.

Edison yells at Klank, "Ohdfuhg hwjho ffhjhf dhbhcyy mmrff!" Or at least that's all Klank hears between the whoops of the siren. Klank enthusiastically follows Frank's order, smashing into the giant pink pistol with a whanging, full-metal, body-slamming bllllannnnngggg! He wraps his big aluminum flex arms around the pistol grip, powers his arm motors to max, punches HEAVY METAL 2, and squeeeeeze-huuuuuugs the Edison Antimatter Squirt Gun with every bit of his mechanical strength. Mr. Chimp sees where this is heading. He lets go of the boom controls and signs:

Mr. Chimp jumps and grips the top rail with his toes, drops down, and swings his way to safety, hand over foot over hand. The antimatter beam hits the first titanium bar and vaporizes it. Frank and Watson back as far away from the bars as they can. Frank recalculates. "OK, that wasn't part of the plan.. "Stop!" yells Edison, at everyone, at everything.

But there is no stopping this antimatter matter. Klank hugs, squeezes, spins. He twists the Edison Antimatter Squirt Gun off its mount, redirecting its deadly beam in a dangerous arc that slices through the tops of the titanium bars, a stray tuft of hair on Watson's head, the middle of the boom with Edison still on it, and the very heart of the massive particle collider. Dancing whang, whang, whang to his HEAVY METAL 2 beat,