9 World’s Worst Super-Stinky CHEATER Contest

World's Worst Super-Stinly CHEATER Contest

"Let the sniffing begin!" said the head judge lady. She handed Stink a clipboard. He took his sniffing very seriously. He walked up and down the rows and rows of torn sneakers, worn sneakers, yucky blucky sneakers. He walked in front of the sneakers and behind the sneakers. Here a sniff, there a sniff, everywhere a sniff, sniff. Stink rated each pair on a smelly scale of zero to four. He wrote down notes like "smells like a swamp" and "worse than a dead skunk" and "triple P.U." All the while, he couldn't help wondering which pair was Sophie's. "Hey, I'll give you a tip." Steve the Smeller handed Stink a tissue. "Take a whiff of a pair of sneakers, then hold the tissue up to your nose in between sniffs. That way, your sense of smell won't get so tired."

"Thanks!" said Stink. Wow-ee! A professional tip from Professor Smells-a-Lot himself. Stink puffed up with pride. He sniffed the next pair. "What do you smell?" Steve asked.

"Feet," said Stink. He did the tissue trick, then smelled the sneakers again. "What else?" asked Steve. "Dirt. Old carpet smell. Maybe even moldy cheese." "Good for you," said Steve. "Moldy cheese. That's exactly what I thought." Stink sniffed some more sneakers. He couldn't help thinking that his were still the smelliest. He couldn't help thinking that he could have won the Golden Clothespin Award. Until he came to Smelly Sneaker Pair Number Thirteen, that is. Stink leaned over and took another whiff. Phew! His eyes crossed; his nose wrinkled; his tongue curled. Number Thirteen smelled worse than a barn full of bats. Worse than a basement full of rats. Number Thirteen smelled stinkier than the litter boxes of ten hundred cats! He sniffed Number Thirteen. He sniffed the clean tissue from Steve the Smeller. Then he sniffed pair Number Thirteen again. All the toilet

water in the world could not have made his shoes as smelly as these sneakers. Stink E. Moody, Judge and Junior Sniffer, had found a real winner. A way-official, want-to-barf, gag-me-with-a-spoon winner. "Geez, Louise," said the lady judge when she came to Number Thirteen. "Jump back, Jack. I think I'm going to pass out." "This one's a Humpty of a Dumpty," Professor Smeller agreed. "Rotten eggs," said the lady judge. "Burnt hair," said Steve. "Cat pee," said Stink. "And dead worms." "He's got the nose, all right," said the professor. "Not many noses would pick up on that dead worm smell." "Worse than rancid roadkill," said the lady. "Worse than C4H9SeH!" said Steve. "What's that?" asked Stink. "Skunk spray," Steve told him. Stink cracked up.

Stink knew for sure now. These sneakers would be outlawed in outer space. These skunks were a number ten on a scale of zero to four. All the king's horses and all the bad smells could not outsmell the Numero Uno, All-Time World's Stinkiest Sneakers, Putrid Pair Number Thirteen. Stink wrote down his final score. He turned in his clipboard. All the votes were counted. At last it was time. Time to announce the Grand Prize Winner of the All-Time, World's Worst, Super-Stinky Sneaker Contest. Professor Steve stepped up to the microphone. "Attention! May I have your attention, please?" Everybody gathered around. All ears were listening. Not even a dog barked.