7 Hamlet and Cheese

ACT 7 HAMLET and CHEESE

Stink's time had come. Time to shuffle off this mortal coil. Time to croak. As in die. On the last day of Shakespeare camp, that is, the day before they would perform for their families! "Great swordplay yesterday, Sprites," said Amanda Beth. "This morning we'll work on what to do after the sword fight. We are going to learn how to die a glorious death, just like in Mr. Shakespeare's plays." A murmur of excitement went through the group. "There are lots of different ways to die in Shakespeare. Let's say poison is poured into your ear while you're sleeping," Amanda Beth said. "Grab your neck like this, stick out your tongue, and pretend you're choking. If you're stabbed with a dagger, clutch your stomach, stagger, and

"Fall on your rear!" said Riley, acting it out. "Perfect," said Amanda Beth. "And if someone throws a deadly snake at you?" "Run!" said Harper and Hazel. "Don't forget to scream," said Sophie. "Everybody on your feet," said Amanda Beth. "Let's try it." Riley grabbed her neck and stuck out her tongue. Sophie let out a blood-curdling scream.

Stink held up a pretend sword and chased after some Sprites. Swing, swing, stab, stab. AAAAH! Stink's air-sword was faster than a flying karate chop. Sprites swooned. Sprites groaned. Sprites crumpled at the knees. Sprites were falling down all around him and calling out, "O, I am slain!"

Wait till I tell Webster about this! thought Stink. For the rest of the day, the Sprites practiced their Shakespeare scenes in small groups. "Will you be ready for the Big Wet One tomorrow?" Riley asked Stink. "The Smooch? The Smackeroo?" Stink tried to scare off Riley with stinky stuff from Shakespeare's time. "I have the pox, you know," he warned. "Do not," said Riley. "Then I have the scurvy." "Nah-uh." "The vermin?" Stink scratched his head. "No way do you have lice, Stink." "B.O.?" "No go." "Forget it," said Stink. "There's no kissing in Hamlet anyway." "We'll see about that," said Riley. Fie on thee, fly-faced maggot pie! "Methinks she's mad," said Stink. "Most true, most true," said Sophie.

The new morn came. 'Twas Saturday, hither at last! Stink sat in the back seat on the way to Shakespeare camp with his family. "Tell us about Hamlet, Stink," Dad said, talking to the rearview mirror. "Yeah, let's hear about your big death scene," said Judy. "Okay. So. There's this king, Claudius," said Stink. "He's the bad guy and he's way into poison. He gets this guy Laertes to fight Hamlet, but Hamlet doesn't know the sword has a poison tip." "Yikes," said Judy. "Sounds bad." "And... the bad king says he's putting a pearl in Hamlet's cup, but it's really a poison pill. Then Hamlet's mother drinks it by mistake!" "Even badder," said Judy. "Now comes the sword fight," said Stink, waving his hands in the air. "Laertes gets Hamlet with the poison sword, but in the fight, the swords get mixed up. So Hamlet picks up the wrong sword and kills Laertes with the poison sword!" "Whoa. What happens next? What happens next?" asked Judy.