4 SWAK

ACT 4 S.W.A.K.

After camp, Sophie came over to Stink's house to make up Shakespeare insults. "Good save today!" said Sophie. "With Riley and the candy store thing." She high-fived Stink. Sophie reached into her backpack to find the Shakespeare insult list. When she pulled it out, a smelly pink envelope fell to the floor. On the front of the envelope were the letters S.W.A.K. "What's that?" Stink asked. "Oh, right. That's a note from You-Know-Who. She asked me to give it to you." "What's S.W.A.K.?" Stink asked. Sophie shrugged. "Shakespeare Wants A Kazoo?" "Or Shakespeare Was A Kangaroo?" Stink and Sophie cracked up. Judy came into Stink's room. "Hi, guys. What's so funny?" "Nothing. You wouldn't get it," said Stink. Judy picked up the pink envelope. "Don't touch that!" said Stink. "It has cooties!" Judy held it at arm's length. "S.W.A.K. Sealed. With. A. Kiss!"

"Gross!" said Stink. "Flush it. Right now. Down the toilet." "Who's it from?" Judy asked. "Riley Rottenberger," said Sophie. "Ooh, a love letter," Judy teased. "Not funny," said Stink. "Riley Rottenberger likes Stink," said Sophie. "Does not," Stink protested. "Does too. She's Captain Obvious," said Sophie.

"She just thinks she's the best at acting and everything," said Stink. "She tried to kiss you!" said Sophie. "She thinks she's Juliet. And you're her boyfriend. O Romeo, Romeo." "Like whoa," said Judy. "Riley says there's a ton of kissing in Shakespeare. Since I'm the only boy, I think I'm gonna get kissed no matter what I do. Methinks I'm going to have to quit Shakespeare camp." "You can't quit, Stink!" said Sophie. "We didn't even get to sword fighting yet." "You don't want to miss sword fighting, Stink," said Judy. "I have a better idea. Let's make you an anti-kissing shield!" "Sweet!" said Sophie of the Elves. "A shield that's Riley-proof?" asked Stink. "For Riley Rottenberger, you need full body armor. Or a super-atomic, anti-smooching force field wherever you go." Judy ran to her room and came back with a piece of cardboard almost as tall as Stink. "Here. I was saving this for a good cause."

Stink drew the shape of a shield on the cardboard, and Sophie helped cut it out. Judy got out crayons and markers and glitter and duct tape. "Let's make a big bad pair of lips with a NO sign crossing it out," said Stink. Judy drew the lips and Stink and Sophie colored them red. Stink drew a NO sign over the lips. He duct-taped a handle to the back. He held the shield out in front of him. "Presenting... the way-official, no-Rottenberger, anti-smooching shield." "RARE," said Judy. "Be not afraid of greatness! Some are born great," said Stink. "And some are born with a great big head," said Judy. She laughed at her own joke and took the art supplies back to her room.

Stink leaped up and tried out the shield. "Back, back, foul Smooch Monster!"