9. Baby Drool, Foot Sweat, and Other Problems

Chapter 9 Baby Drool, Foot Sweat, and Other Problems Mom drove me to Gus's house that afternoon after school. Gus was sitting on the front porch. His mom was helping his little brother, Albert, ride a blue plastic trike. His dad had Babette in a pouch thingie that hung from his chest. He looked like a kangaroo with a beard. My mom ran over to make ooh-how-cute noises about the baby. I ran over to Gus to make ooh-how-gross noises about the baby. When Mom finally drove off, I am pretty sure she was still oohing in the car. "So, Roscoe," said Gus's dad, "these are the famous Walkie-Talkies I've heard so much about." I held up a foot so he could see one.

As he leaned over, Babette drooled on my sock. I tried not to look shocked. But I was for sure going to have to throw that sock away when I got home. "You push this button here," I said. "And if someone else has Walkie-Talkies, you can talk to them." "Wow," said Gus's dad. "How cool is that? Do they come in adult sizes?" "Gary," said Gus's mom, "you're not really helping." "Oops," said Gus's dad. He winked at Gus. "They are awesome, Gus. When your sneakers wear out, we'll talk about it." "These are Ruff and Tuffs, Dad. They never wear out," said Gus. Gus's dad was about to answer, but Babette started crying. "Gotta change the kid," said Gus's dad. Just then, Albert tipped over on his trike and skinned his elbow. He cried even louder than Babette. "Boys, you two will have to come inside while we take care of the little ones," Gus's mom said.

We followed the two screaming kids and Gus's parents inside. The house smelled like baby. "Gus!" his dad said. "Could you bring me some baby wipes? They're in the diaper bag in Babette's room." "And grab that box of Band-Aids in the bathroom, Gus," added his mom. "Sometimes I hate being a big brother," Gus muttered. "I know it's hard, sweetheart," said his mom. Gus headed up the stairs. A few minutes later, he came back with a box of baby wipes and some Band-Aids. "Let's go play in my room," he said. "There's too many little kids down here. It's like an alien invasion." Gus's room was even messier than mine. I sat down on a pile of dirty clothes and felt right at home.

"I remember when Hazel was a baby," I said. "My parents paid all the attention to her. It was like Max and me didn't even exist." Gus nodded. "Lately, I feel like I'm invisible." "You're not invisible to me!" I said. I tossed a dirty sock at Gus and scored a direct hit. "There's proof!" I said. "I can see you just fine!" Gus just lay there. He didn't even fire the sock back at me. I had to cheer him up somehow. "Gus," I said. "I've got a great idea. I want you to wear my Walkie-Talkies for a while. For a

whole day, even." I thought for a moment. "No! For a whole entire week!" Gus sat up on his elbows. "You'd do that for me?" I kicked off my shoes. "Here. Try them on." Gus tried to put on my right Walkie-Talkie. He made a face and shook his head. "Foot sweat?" I asked. "No, it's just that my feet are too big to fit." "Squeeze harder," I said. Gus tried again. "I feel like Cinderella with the glass slipper." "Actually, the slipper fit Cinderella. You would be an ugly stepsister," I said. Finally, Gus managed to squeeze his feet into both shoes. He stood up. He was a little wobbly, on account of his squished condition. "Ow," he said. "They're amazing. Ow. But I don't think I could wear them for a whole week. My feet would probably fall off. Thanks, though." "You'll get some Walkie-Talkies soon, Gus," I said. "Your sneakers have to fall apart eventually, right?" "I suppose."

"How can shoes refuse to die?" I asked. "Dad says all my sneakers wear out in a week." I picked up one of the Ruff and Tuffs. "I know what their ads say," I said. "But these sure look like regular old sneakers. I'll bet you I could wear them out in no time!" "I wish you could," Gus said. "Then I'd finally get my own Walkie-Talkies!" And that's when it hit me. I, Mr. Destructo-feet, was the answer to Gus's Walkie-Talkie prayers. "Gus," I said. "Let me borrow your sneakers for a day. I guarantee you'll need a new pair of shoes in no time, if my feet have anything to say about it!"