5. Don’t-You-Dare Glue

Chapter 5 Don't-You-Dare Glue The junk drawer always has wonderful things in it. Keys. Puzzle pieces. Paper clips. The head from one of Hazel's dolls. I was playing brain surgeon the day that happened. The patient died. I pulled out the bag of art supplies.

杂物抽屉里总有好东西。 钥匙。拼图。纸夹。 海柔尔一个娃娃的头。 那天我在演脑外科医生。 病人死了。我拿出那袋美术用品。

I added three purple rubber bands to the bag. And a Slinky that wouldn't slink anymore. And the doll head. You never know when you might need an extra head. And then I saw something else in the drawer. A bottle of Super-Mega-Gonzo Glue. The grown-up glue Mom calls don't-you-dare glue.

我在袋子里加了三根紫色橡皮筋。 还有一只不会再溜的弹簧狗。 还有娃娃头。你永远不知道什么时候你会需要一个额外的脑袋。 然后我在抽屉里看到了别的东西。 一瓶超级怪诞胶。 被妈妈称为“成人胶”的“不敢胶”。

Super-Mega-Gonzo Glue is extra strong. Dad used it when I broke my great-grandma's very old teacup. And when I broke Mom's very precious flower vase. And when I broke Grandpa's very ugly glass potato souvenir from Idaho. Adults really should keep breakable stuff away from us kids. Mom glanced into the family room. "Max! Did you find your other shoe? The bus will be here in five minutes." My big brother came into the kitchen. He was armed with a juice box. "My shoe is on the roof," Max said. Then he squirted me with his straw.

超级巨怪胶是特别强的。 当我打碎我曾祖母的旧茶杯时，爸爸就用过它。 当我打碎了妈妈非常珍贵的花瓶。 当我打碎了爷爷从爱达荷州带回的难看的玻璃土豆纪念品。 大人真的应该让易碎物品远离我们这些孩子。 妈妈朝客厅瞥了一眼。 “马克斯!你找到另一只鞋了吗? 公共汽车五分钟后就到。” 我哥哥走进厨房。 他带着一个果汁盒。 “我的鞋在屋顶上，”马克斯说。 然后他用吸管喷我。

At least it was apple juice. That's my favorite. "Max!" Mom cried. "He started this war," Max said. "My hair's all wet," I complained. "Maybe you should cut off your head," Max said. Which was not all that helpful, really. "Shut up," I said to Max. "Roscoe!" Dad said. "Shut up, PLEASE," I said. "Wait just a minute, Max," Mom said. "Did you say your shoe is on the roof?" "There's a good explanation," Max said.

至少那是苹果汁。 那是我的最爱。“马克斯!”妈妈哭了。 “他挑起了这场战争，”马克斯说。 “我的头发全湿了，”我抱怨道。 “也许你应该砍掉你的头，”马克斯说。 这也没什么用，真的。 “闭嘴，”我对麦克斯说。“左轮枪!”爸爸说。 “请闭嘴，”我说。 “等一下，麦克斯，”妈妈说。 “你说你的鞋在屋顶上?”“这是一个很好的解释，”马克斯说。

"I'm sure there is," said Dad. His eyebrow went up again. That eyebrow gets a lot of exercise. "Me and Roscoe were playing astronaut," Max said. "Max's shoe was the space shuttle," I added. "I need a ladder," Mom said. "I need more coffee," Dad said. "I need a new brother," I said. "You need a new brain," said Max. "Guys," said Dad. "Peace." "Roscoe, Max and your dad and I have work to do on the roof," Mom said. "Keep an eye on Hazel for me, sweetie."

“我肯定有，”爸爸说。 他的眉毛又往上一扬。 你的眉毛经常锻炼。 “我和罗斯科在玩宇航员的游戏，”马克斯说。 “麦克斯的鞋子是航天飞机，”我补充说。 “我需要一个梯子，”妈妈说。 “我需要更多的咖啡，”爸爸说。 “我需要一个新兄弟，”我说。 “你需要一个新的大脑，”马克斯说。 “孩子们，”爸爸说。“和平”。 “罗斯科、麦克斯、你爸爸和我还有屋顶上的活要干。”妈妈说。 “亲爱的，帮我照看一下海柔尔。”

Hazel is my little sister. She was busy watching cartoons in the family room. Mom says educational cartoons are okay. Especially until she's had her first cup of coffee. "I'll hold the ladder," Dad said to Mom, "if you climb." Dad is afraid of heights. But don't tell anybody. It's a family secret. Also, please don't tell him he is losing his hair. Dads can be very sensitive, you know. "Dad," I said. "Before you go outside, I think you should know you only have one sock on." Dad looked down at his foot. "Has anyone seen my other sock?" "Try the roof," Mom said.

黑兹尔是我的小妹妹。 她在客厅里忙着看动画片。 妈妈说教育卡通是可以的。 尤其是在她喝完第一杯咖啡之前。 “我来扶梯子，”爸爸对妈妈说，“如果你爬的话。” 爸爸恐高。但是不要告诉任何人。 这是家庭秘密。还有，请不要告诉他他正在掉头发。 你知道，爸爸们有时候很敏感。 “爸爸，”我说。“你出去之前，我想你应该知道你只穿了一只袜子。” 爸爸低头看着自己的脚。 “有人看见我的另一只袜子吗?”“去屋顶试试，”妈妈说。