4 The letter

Chapter 4 The letter Lizzy went straight out after breakfast, trying to clear her head with fresh air. She hadn't gone far along her usual walk when she saw Mr. Darcy ahead of her. She turned away, but he called her name, came after her and gave her a letter. "Will you read this for me?" he asked. Instinctively, she took it. Mr. Darcy gave a slight bow and walked away. Intrigued, Lizzy began to read...

Do not be alarmed, Miss Bennet. I am not going to repeat my offer of marriage. Yesterday, you accused me of two things. I only want the chance to defend myself. It wasn't long before I realized Bingley was in love, but as I studied your sister, it did not seem to me that she loved him. And, as I watched your family at the Netherfield Ball, I became convinced that Bingley was about to become trapped in a marriage with an unsuitable family and a girl who did not love him. So I went with Bingley to London, where I told him that Jane did not return his affection. After that, it wasn't hard to persuade him never to return to Netherfield... "How could he know Jane's true feelings?" thought Lizzy, still fuming. Though her face burned with shame when she remembered how her family had behaved that night. With shaking hands, she read on.

As for Mr. Wickham, he has not told you the whole truth. I offered him the job of clergyman, as my father requested in his will. Wickham turned it down. Instead, he asked for money to study law, which I gave him, but he frittered it away. Then, last summer, he tried to run away with my sister to force her to marry him- not because he loved her, but because he wanted her money. If your dislike of me makes you doubt me, do ask my cousin, Mr. Fitzwilliam. I will only add, God bless you. Darcy

Lizzy didn't see either Darcy or Fitzwilliam before they left. By the time she was making her own journey home, she felt she knew Darcy's letter by heart. How could she have been so wrong- she, who always prided herself on her insight? As her anger faded, she realized that Jane did hide her true feelings, even from those closest to her. She thought how she'd praised Wickham, been blinded by his charm... At least she didn't have to face Wickham again. The officers had gone to Brighton. Lizzy was anxious to discover that Lydia had gone with them, in the company of one of her friends. "Call her back, Papa," she begged. "She will only become more giddy and foolish away from home. And how Lydia acts affects us all... how we are all judged." Mr. Bennet laughed. "Do you mean to say Lydia is frightening away husbands for you and Jane? Don't make yourself uneasy, my love. Wherever you and Jane go, you will be respected and valued."

Lizzy had to leave it at that. She was glad she had one thing to look forward to- a trip with her aunt and uncle, the Gardiners. "We have decided to go to Derbyshire," her aunt wrote. Instantly, Lizzy thought of Pemberley- Mr. Darcy's home. "But surely," she thought, "I can go to Derbyshire without seeing him?" The trip was delayed once, twice, until at last, they set out, Lizzy longing to see new sights.