8 Butter Up!

Chapter 8 BUTTER UP! "Tum, tee dee tum tum…," sang Mrs. Scuttle. Her nose appeared in front of Andrew like a big pink ski slope. "Now, where are those pickles?" she asked herself. "Oh, here!" Meaty Scuttle fingers wrapped themselves around the jar of pickles that Andrew's tomato was leaning against. The tomato wobbled on the edge of the cabbage. Andrew turned off his flashlight, clipped it back onto his belt loop, and held on!

Rrrrrrrrinnng! Rrrrrrrrinnng! Rrrrrrrrinnng! It was Mrs. Scuttle's phone. "I'll bet that's the mayor calling me back!" said Mrs. Scuttle. She slammed the refrigerator door shut. But she slammed it so hard that it sprang open again! "Well, hello, Mayor Zamboni!" said Mrs. Scuttle. Her voice had turned sticky sweet. "It's about my neighbors, the Dubbles. Yes, I've called about them many times." Splot! A drop of milk landed right on top of Andrew. It washed him over the edge of the slippery tomato skin! "Woofers!" said Andrew. He clung to the edge of the slippery tomato with one hand and the Drastic Elastic with the other! Mrs. Scuttle's voice got less sweet. "I'm a very busy person, Mayor Zamboni, but I am certainly not a busybody!" Mrs. Scuttle was silent for a moment. "I can't believe it!" she finally said. "He hung up on me!"

Andrew's cold fingers just couldn't hold on. He fell off the tomato and landed softly on a yellow snowdrift—the stick of butter! Up above, the tomato was slipping farther and farther over the edge of the cabbage. Finally, it toppled off the cabbage, bombed down past the middle shelf, smacked into the glass plate with the half-eaten sandwich, and… Craaack! The whole mess crashed to the kitchen floor. Andrew heard Mrs. Scuttle's heavy footsteps thumping nearer. "This is the last straw!" she screamed. Andrew looked around for Thudd. He couldn't see him, but he still had one end of the Drastic Elastic. "Thudd!" Andrew called. There was no answer. Andrew snapped the Drastic Elastic. Thudd came skimming toward him across the butter! "Shnurm…" Thudd had fallen asleep again. All his buttons were blinking red.

"Wake up, Thudd!" said Andrew. He untied Thudd from the Drastic Elastic. Then he scooped up a handful of butter and started rubbing Thudd all over, especially his antennas. The refrigerator door opened wide. Mrs. Scuttle got down on her hands and knees to clean up the mess. The top of Mrs. Scuttle's head was right across from Andrew. He could see the dark roots of her hair, even some dandruff! "Shnurm… Butter made from lotsa little fat globs in milk… Shnurm…" Thudd was talking in his sleep! As Andrew rubbed Thudd with butter, Thudd's buttons went from blinking red to yellow. Then Thudd opened his eyes!

"Now I've got a headache!" Mrs. Scuttle groaned. She looked at her watch. "Heavens to Betsy! It's 6:30! How am I ever going to get ready for my garden party tonight?" Mrs. Scuttle's grumpy face rose past Andrew like a balloon in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. meep… "What is big as elephant but weigh nothing?" asked Thudd. "Elephant shadow! Hee hee!"

"Oh no!" said Andrew. "You're still telling elephant jokes!" meep… "Still soggy!" said Thudd. "Got to get dry!" Bing! "The microwave!" said Mrs. Scuttle. She ran over to the microwave oven and flung it open. The door was spattered with orange cheese and red tomato! "I can't believe it!" she said. "I must have set it for ten minutes by accident! Another mess!" Mrs. Scuttle shook her head. "I should just go back to bed," she groaned. "But I've got to have something to eat. Maybe just a slice of toast with my tea. That's it! Hot buttered toast!"