4 What’s Stinkier Than a Whale’s Intestines

Chapter 4 WHAT'S STINKIER THAN A WHALE'S INTESTINES? Andrew was trapped in a dream. He was in a courtroom. A jury had found him guilty of inventing the Aroma-Rama. The Aroma- Rama was supposed to make homes and stores and offices smell like a garden. Instead, it made every place smell like stinky feet. Andrew's punishment was to clean out refrigerators for the rest of his life. A guard brought him to a room filled with junky old refrigerators. Andrew was cleaning the first one. He had just twisted the lid off a jar of black goo that smelled

like sour milk, gasoline, and dog poop when… Klunketa… klunketa… klunketa… A loud clunking sound woke him up. Andrew felt damp all over. He rubbed his eyes. The light was bright. He was leaning against a tall wall with brown and yellow tiles. And he was sitting on a pile of garbage! The room looked familiar, but something was wrong. The ceiling looked awfully far away. "Uh-oh," said Andrew. "The Goa shrunk us, pooped us out, and now we're sitting on the tiny garbage I shrunk before! I must be about as big as a cockroach." meep… "Small cockroach," said Thudd. Ga-nufff… ga-nufff… gnewww… Andrew turned toward the sound. It was coming from a pile of dark, frizzy hair nearby. The pile was snoring! "Judy!" said Andrew to the pile of hair. Judy was asleep and buried up to her neck in garbage. Klunketa… klunketa… klunketa…

The clunking sound was closer. Andrew pushed runny cheese and soggy crackers away from Judy's shoulders and tried to shake her awake. Ga-nufff… ga-nufff… gnewww… She shook her head but stayed sound asleep. Klunketa… klunketa… klunketa… "Whoa!" came a deep voice from the doorway. "Hey, Frank! Get a look at the fake snake! Must be for Show-and-Tell Day." "No way, Jeff," said Frank. "It's for Take Your Fake Snake to Work Day." The men laughed. "Hey," said Frank. "Where's that garbage we're supposed to pick up?" "Must be that bag next to the fake snake," said Jeff. "I'll get it." Andrew watched the dark, heavy shoes get closer. "I'm not even as high as the sole of his shoe," said Andrew. "He could stomp me like a bug."

"Well, look here," said Jeff. "The fake snake made fake poop! Hand me a broom and a dustpan, Frank. Thanks. I'll toss this stuff into the garbage bag." Andrew looked up at Jeff's face. It was like looking at the carvings of the presidents on Mount Rushmore. "HELP!" Andrew shouted. "GET US OUT OF THE GARBAGE!" The dark, dirty dustpan clunked against the floor. A wall of yellow bristles swept toward Andrew like a tsunami. Andrew covered his face with his hands and crouched in the garbage. A wave of stinky wetness crashed over him as the pile of tiny garbage was shoved into the dustpan.

Andrew felt the dustpan going up, then it tilted. Andrew was sliding fast. Suddenly he felt his stomach fluttering into his mouth. They were falling into the garbage bag! Splat!

"Oofers!" hollered Andrew as he belly-flopped onto a regular-sized pickle at the top of the bag. "Andrew?" Judy called sleepily from a soggy taco shell. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. "Where are we? It's stinkier than a whale's intestines." "Um, we're in a garbage bag," said Andrew. "The Goa Constrictor shrunk us." Judy rolled off her taco shell. "We're shrunk again!" She crawled toward Andrew. "Wait till I get my hands on you!" Judy wiped a drop of hot sauce off her nose and shoved her face toward Andrew's. "I should have kept my New Year's resolution," she said angrily. "What was that?" said Andrew. "To stay at least five miles away from you at all times," said Judy. "Listen," said Andrew. "As soon as I find the remote, we'll get out of the bag, get into the Goa Constrictor's mouth, and I'll press the Reverse button. We'll be right back to our normal size in no time."