3 No Excuses

Chapter 3 NO EXCUSES "Ack! Ack!" coughed Judy. "Yerf!" hollered Jeremy, pinching his nose with his fingers. Andrew held his breath. The tornado swirled toward the ceiling and vanished. The smell disappeared. And the bulge in the middle of the Goa Constrictor was gone. Now the Goa's tail was twitching so fast that it seemed to disappear. As soon as the tail was still, Andrew lifted it. "Super-duper pooper-scooper!" he shouted. "Look!" Beneath the tail was a tiny pile of colored specks. Andrew put down the remote and reached into his pants pocket. He pulled out a small black tube

第三章没有借口“啊！哎呀！”朱迪咳嗽道。 “耶！”杰里米大叫一声，用手指捏着鼻子。 安德鲁屏住了呼吸。龙卷风盘旋着冲向天花板，然后消失了。 气味消失了。果阿蟒蛇中间隆起的部分消失了。 现在果阿鱼的尾巴抽动得如此之快，似乎消失了。 尾巴一静下来，安德鲁就把它举起来。 “超级狗屎铲！”他喊道。 “看!”尾巴下面是一小堆彩色的斑点。 安德鲁放下遥控器，把手伸进裤子口袋。 他拿出一根黑色的小管子

and put it up to his eye. "Woofers!" he said. "The Goa really did shrink the garbage! Apple cores and paper cups are smaller than grains of sand! Some stuff is so small I can't even see it with my Tele-Mag." "Give me that thing," said Jeremy, kneeling down on the floor. He grabbed the Tele-Mag out of Andrew's hand, put it up to his eye, and looked at the tiny pile. "It's just a big blur!" he said. "That's because you're holding the Tele-Mag the wrong way," said Andrew. "One end is a telescope and the other end is a microscope." Jeremy turned the tube around and examined the specks. "Okay. It's teensy-weensy garbage," he said. "Who cares?" Andrew grabbed back the Tele-Mag and picked up the remote. "So where's your invention, Germy?" he asked. "Right here," said Jeremy, getting to his feet. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out what looked like a black Ping-Pong ball.

然后把它放到他的眼睛上。“低音炮！” “果阿真的缩小了垃圾！”苹果核和纸杯比沙粒还小！有些东西太小了，我用遥控磁都看不见。” “把那东西给我。”杰里米说着，跪在地上。 他从安德鲁手里抢过电磁镜，放到眼前，看着那一小堆东西。 “只是一片模糊！”他说。 “那是因为你拿遥控磁棒的方式不对。”安德鲁说。 “一端是望远镜，另一端是显微镜。” 杰里米把管子转过来，检查那些斑点。 “好吧。这是微不足道的垃圾，”他说。 “谁在乎?”安德鲁拿回遥控mag，拿起遥控器。 “那你的发明呢，杰米？”他问道。 “就在这儿。”杰里米说着站了起来。 他把手伸进裤子口袋，掏出一个黑色的乒乓球。

"Humph," said Judy, frowning. "Just what the world is waiting for—a smooth golf ball. One that's really hard to find." Jeremy shook his head. "You wouldn't recognize a genius idea if it landed on your brain," he said. "This is the Excuse-O-Matic. The world is waiting for this." Jeremy clicked a silver button at the top of the black ball. "I didn't do my homework," he said slowly. hmmmmmmmmmm… The ball hummed softly. It began to spin in Jeremy's palm. hmmmmm… "My little brother ate my homework," whined a small voice from the whirling ball. hmmmmm… "I got food poisoning and threw up all night." hmmmmm… "A robber broke into our house and took everything, even my homework." Jeremy clicked the silver button again and the Excuse-O-Matic was quiet.

“哼，”朱迪皱着眉头说。 “这正是世界所期待的——一个光滑的高尔夫球。 一个很难找到的人。” 杰里米摇了摇头。他说：“即使一个天才的想法出现在你的脑海里，你也认不出来。” “这是‘借口’。 全世界都在等待这一刻。” 杰里米点击了黑球顶部的一个银色按钮。 “我没有做作业，”他慢慢地说。 球轻轻地哼哼着。 它开始在杰里米的掌心旋转。 “我的小弟弟吃了我的作业。”一个小声音从旋转的球里呜咽着说。 “我食物中毒了，吐了一晚上。” “一个强盗闯进了我们家，拿走了所有的东西，甚至包括我的作业。” 杰里米又按了一下银色按钮，“借口- matic”安静了下来。

"See?" said Jeremy. "It works for every situation—being late, losing stuff—anything! Everybody needs good excuses." "Lies, you mean," said Judy. Jeremy smiled. "Just other ways of looking at things," he said. "Even Dandy Andy will love this. Catch!" He tossed the Excuse-O-Matic to Andrew. The Excuse-O-Matic knocked the remote control out of Andrew's hand. It fell to the floor. The red eyes of the Goa Constrictor blinked fast. It opened its jaws, scooped up the Excuse-O- Matic and the remote, and snapped its jaws shut. "Get my Excuse-O-Matic back!" yelled Jeremy. "Or else I'll say you stole it! You'll get arrested!" "No way!" said Judy. Judy threw herself on the Goa Constrictor, grabbed its top jaw, and pulled. Andrew flopped down in front of the Goa, got a grip on its bottom jaw, and looked inside. "See anything?" asked Judy.

“看到了吗？”杰里米说。“它适用于任何情况——迟到、丢东西——任何情况！”每个人都需要好的借口。” “你是说谎言吗？”朱迪说。 杰里米笑了。他说：“只是从另一个角度看问题。” “即使是丹迪·安迪也会喜欢的。 抓住!”他把那张“道歉书”扔给了安德鲁。 “借口- matic”把遥控器从安德鲁手中打掉了。 它掉到了地板上。果阿蟒蛇的红眼睛眨得很快。 它张开嘴，捞起了“借口- o - Matic”和遥控器，然后啪地一声合上了嘴。 “把我的托米- o - matic拿回来！”杰里米喊道。 “不然我就说你偷了！”你会被逮捕的！”“不可能！”朱迪说。 朱迪扑到果阿巨蟒身上，抓住它的上颚，使劲拉。 安德鲁扑通一声坐在果阿号前面，抓住它的下颚，往里面看。 “看到什么了吗？”朱迪问。

"Not yet," said Andrew. He snapped his mini- flashlight off his belt loop and clicked it on. "Can you pull the mouth open a little wider?" "Uuugh!" groaned Judy, pulling harder. "I can't hold this jaw open much longer." Andrew pushed his head and then his shoulders into the Goa's mouth. "Ooof!" exclaimed Judy as the top jaw snapped out of her grip. It clomped down on Andrew. Ssssssssssss… The bottom jaw was moving in and out. It was pulling Andrew inside like a conveyor belt!

“还没有。”安德鲁说。他啪的一声把袖珍手电筒从腰带上扣下来，然后咔哒一声打开。 “你能把嘴张大一点吗？”“呸！”朱迪呻吟着，用力拉。 “我撑不下去了。” 安德鲁把他的头和肩膀伸进了果阿鱼的嘴里。 “哇！”朱迪叫了一声，上面的下巴从她手里掉了下来。 它扑通一声落在安德鲁身上。 它的下颚在进进出出。 它像传送带一样把安德鲁拉了进去！

"Uh-oh," said Andrew. He was inside the Goa up to his chest! Andrew could hear Jeremy laughing. "Germy Booger, this is all your fault," said Judy. "Get over here and grab one of Andrew's legs." "Boohoo!" hooted Jeremy, walking out the door. "Dandy Andy is your problem. I'm going to tell Principal Smuggins. You guys are in big trouble." Andrew felt Judy's hands gripping his ankles and yanking. "AAAAAAAACK!" screamed Judy. SSSSSSSSSSSS… The horrible hiss was the last sound Andrew heard before his head felt like it was filled with helium and everything went black.

“哦哦，”安德鲁说。他在果阿河里没到胸口！安德鲁听见杰里米在笑。 “杰米·布格，这都是你的错，”朱迪说。 “过来，抓住安德鲁的一条腿。” “嘘！”杰里米大叫一声，走出了门。 “丹迪·安迪是你的问题。 我要去告诉走私犯校长。 你们有大麻烦了。” 安德鲁感到朱迪的手抓住了他的脚踝，猛拉着他。 “啊啊啊啊！”朱迪尖叫起来。 可怕的嘶嘶声是安德鲁听到的最后一个声音，然后他的脑袋就像充满了氦气，一切都变黑了。